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Gordon Glantz is the managing editor of the Times Herald and an award winning columnist.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Paranoid

Another day, another list of V.P. possibilities for Barack Obama and John McCain.

A guy can't even troll the Internet for a rare song by my No. 1 guilty-pleasure band America (I need something written by Jimmy Webb from the soundtrack from "The Last Unicorn," in case you want to help quell this while-Sofia-naps-emergency) without getting smacked in the face with speculation.

I suppose it is righteous pontification. After all, the window dressing placed at the bottom of either ticket may be what ultimately decides this thing.

Ever since Hillary Clinton got the last laugh by painting Obama into a corner by stating she would be willing to be his second banana -- and make history for women the world-over in the process -- we've all be watching him deal with the ace-less hand she dealt him.

It certainly is a quandary.

She would bring a lot of her supporters -- women, hard-hats, racists, senior citizens and combinations of each -- to the cause. I've seen polls showing 15 to 25 percent of her supporters saying they are going to go another way and vote against their own self-interests out of spite. Another 10 to 15 percent say they just aren't going to vote at all (and you know the number is more, because no one wants to admit apathy to a pollster).

That doesn't bode well for Obama, who faces similar backlash from his own base -- blacks, yuppies, college kids, sexists and combinations of each -- if he goes with a woman who they think deployed dirty tricks that had their media-endorsed candidate limping across the finish line with Hillary on his heels.

Those of the misguided belief that Republicans and centrists are going to come Obama's way on the day of reckoning point to her polarizing effect.

Moreover, it has been stated that picking a Clinton flies in the face of the message of "change."

In response, Obama laughably tabbed a member of another Democratic Royal Family -- Caroline Kennedy -- to help pick his vice-presidential candidate.

His able-minded controllers of spin bounced back by floating a story that he is considering retired army types.

Meanwhile, yawn, McCain's list has about 999 boring white men and one Native American that would kill the "Obama is too inexperienced" argument.

And Hillary, she stays in hiding.

She may not want the job anyway.

That's where I come in.

Would I not be the ideal running mate for Obama? I'm from Pennsylvania and, as a Hillary supporter, I could bring some of the base with me.

I admit Pa. Gov. Ed Rendell has slightly better name recognition, but he already stated -- during a recent visit to Ambler to tout his smoking ban -- that he isn't interested.

Good thing, because Obama ain't interested in him, either.

And it's for obvious reasons.

There is a list of quality senators -- with vastly more experience and voting records than Obama -- who hail from key states and could balance the ticket.

There is Carl Levin from Michigan, Charles Schumer from New York and Russ Feingold from Wisconsin.

There are two others who have the added advantage of being women -- Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer, both of California.

And they have as much of a chance as I of getting the call.

Why?

Same reason why neither Joe Lieberman nor our own Arlen Specter would be tacked onto McCain's ticket.

We won't be chosen because we are ... chosen.

Do I have to spell it out for you? J-E-W.

The candidates all court the Jewish vote and seek handsome campaign checks, but not the possible backlash that Al Gore — albeit in a pre-Sept. 11 world — had the courage to endure.

The country was almost ready for a woman presidential candidate and, we can only hope, a biracial male president.

But it is not ready for one of us.

It probably hurt Gore in 2000 and no one is going to run the risk during a time when the country is at war with a bunch of Arab Muslims who think Jews use their own children's blood to make matzoh.

Maybe I'm being paranoid.

Maybe it's not so much anti-Semitism as it reality.

Then again, history shows the two to be one in the same.

In a way, despite my bitterness, I feel vindicated.

The guitar player in my band of yore was a black dude. We used to argue about which of our downtrodden peoples would get to the White House first. While he was convinced it would be a Jew because Jews have white skin, I was convinced it would be an African American because enough whites attached an aura of mystique to blacks that it would cancel out the rednecks in the red states.

He asked how it could happen and I painted a scenario much like the one that has unfolded with Obama. He scoffed. I now know that I saw the future.

Since Nostradamus was a from a Jewish family who converted to Catholicism for obvious reasons, maybe I have some of his blood in my veins.

Hey, a guy has to think of something while the baby sleeps ...

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Don't Cry Daddy

Another view of Father's Day
By: GORDON GLANTZ , Times Herald Staff

There are millions upon billions upon trillions of dads who deserve a special day, albeit once a year, for all they do or did to keep cookie-cutter roofs over our heads and milkshakes in our bellies.

But let's face reality. There are the others.
Fathers who were like strangers. Fathers who cast a pall over the lives of their kids with varying forms of abuse. Fathers who died too young and, yes, fathers who lived too long and kept their progeny mired in their misery.
There may not be a holiday this side of the utterly nonsensical Valentine's Day that evokes such a wide range of squelched emotions for an untold number of souls who just wish the day would pass in 24 seconds instead of 24 hours.
While I feel your pain, I am relieved to declare that I am not among you.
And it's not that I don't have plenty of "father" issues, because I do.
My father and mother divorced when I was 1 1/2 years old (perhaps each blaming the other for the demon they had spawned), but my father never split the scene.
Sometimes to my chagrin, I visited every weekend and on alternating holidays with him and his new family. Meanwhile, my mother remarried a man who considered me his son.
So, while some of my friends had no fathers, I had two.
And while neither was perfect, I always knew they had my back. Adding in my hall-of-fame maternal grandfather (my paternal grandfather died when I was 4, but I have fond-though-faint memories), I was not at a loss for male role models.
I could have done without a lot of my father's subtle negativity and my stepfather's purposeful antagonism, but there is the sobering reality that these guys were only the age I am now when I was already a grade-school hellion.
In retrospect, they were doing the best they could under circumstances that were often rather weird.
And, as one of my many friends with an absentee father once told me: "It beats the alternative, man."
The Christians among you would say that the only perfect father was that of Jesus. And this lapsed Jew can't argue with what is about as good an analogy as there is on the issue.
There is, however, one place where the dads always rocked.
That place: Television.
So, without further adieu, here are the Top 10 TV fathers (if you're expecting a generic list, you have my permission to get lost):
10) Herman Munster (The Munsters) - For those of us who have ever been publicly embarrassed by our fathers, just think of what poor Eddie endured while still admiring his well-meaning monster of a dad.
9) Tony Soprano (The Sopranos) - Sorry, I couldn't resist. ... I didn't want to get rubbed out by not including my man, Tone, on da list. ... Then again, how many dads can drop their kid off for a college visit, go wack a dude and then pick the kid up on time?
8) Fred Flintstone (The Flintstones) - We all know some Fred Flintstones - well-meaning working stiffs who would take a bullet for their kids (in this case, the adorable Pebbles) - do we not? Fred is more like most of our fathers than guys who don't have to use their feet to make their cars go.
7) Archie Bunker (All in the Family) - Archie, much like Mr. Flintstone, was far from idyllic. But he was always there for his "Little Goil," even when she brought home an unemployed meathead to live in the Bunkers' humble abode on 704 Houser St., Queens, N.Y.
6) Ward Clever (Leave it to Beaver) - He was always bemused by the adventures of Wally and the Beaver, but suppressed his laughter enough to keep the boys on the right path.
5) Andy Sipowicz (NYPD Blue) - One of my favorite small-screen characters successfully did what many cannot. He formed a bond with a grown son after being an absentee father during Andy Jr.'s formative years. Watching it unfold, before the writers stupidly killed the son off, was magical.
4) Tom Corbett (The Courtship of Eddie's Father) - The theme song "Best Friend" - written by the late, great Harry Nilsson - sums it up. This single dad was his son's world.
3) James Evans (Good Times) - The father of J.J., a.k.a. "Kid Dynamite," was one of those dependable fathers who led by example. He always threatened violence, but garnered too much love and respect from his kids to have to follow through.
2) Mike Brady (The Brady Bunch) - There is one scene, set in the aftermath of Greg getting torched while pitching a Little League game, when the father-son exchange is about as poignant as I've seen on any sized screen. And it still makes me jealous that I went through adolescence without any such pep talk.
1) John Walton (The Waltons) - Go ahead, make all those "Good Night, John Boy" jokes. Many of the episodes - particularly in the first few years of the show's run - are cleanser for the soul. And "John Man," John Boy's father, was like a rock while keeping his family eating during The Great Depression by, literally, chopping wood.
Honorable Mention (Somebody get these guys a tie, too): Howard Cunningham (Happy Days); Charles "Pa" Ingalls (Little House on the Prairie); Dr. Cliff Huxtable (The Cosby Show); Sheriff Andy Taylor (The Andy Griffith Show); Jack Arnold (The Wonder Years).

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The Morning After

Even though we all saw it coming -- perhaps as long ago as the friggin' Iowa caucuses (what the bleep are they anyway???) and certainly after the practical joke pulled by the Democratic Rules Committee last weekend -- Tuesday night's results were a bitter pill to swallow.

But once it was digested, the taste really didn't linger the way I thought it might.

I listened to Hillary speak and intermittently made jokes about the less-than-photogenic people positioned behind her, cringed at some of her remarks and got choked up from other pronouncements that still made me proud that she is who I backed in a losing cause (kind of like any Eagles' season that we all know will end without a ring).

Then I listened -- with somewhat different ears -- to Obama. As always, some of his remarks caused my normal caustic shouting at the television that elicited verbal skirmishes with his semi-naive followers in our newsroom. But other parts of the victory speech gave me, dare I say it, h-h-hope for ch-ch-change.

With or without Hillary Clinton on the ticket, I almost see no option but to now move slightly to the left -- with my breath held -- and back what I still can't help but see as a long-shot bid to end eight years of GOP dictatorship.

After midnight, as I drove home through the late spring rain, I listened to some Steve Earle (his last CD is pure genius) and thought on it some more. Somewhere between Norristown and Whitpain -- East Norriton, I suppose -- I felt almost a sense of relief.

The first thing I saw when I reached home was my HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT sign on the lawn. I saw that differently as well. It now becomes a relic. A keepsake for my daughter; something to show her when I say she can be anything she wants to be -- even president.

I'll keep it up for a few more days -- maybe until Hillary makes her next move -- and then put away in the attic with my ... Kerry/Edwards sign.

And then I watched some FOX News, where I've been secretly running to enjoy Obama-bashing ceremonies the last few months, and the process of coming to my senses continued. The bashing suddenly seemed blatantly unfair again.

They replayed an interview with GOP candidate John McCain, who looked and sounded every bit like a man at the end of his political career.

And although I believe Obama is way early in his ascent as a national politician to be aspiring for the White House -- and although I still believe Hillary, of the three who had the fortitude to stick out the full primary season, is at the right point -- the junior senator from Illinois may be a better way to go than a very, very senior senator from Arizona.

Obama will need to surround himself with the right people and make it clear to the voting public who will be in his administration, beyond the vice president, and he needs to acknowledge that enter this next race out of breath from limping across the finish line just a step or two in front of Clinton.

These were my thoughts as the right-leaning pundits on FOX babbled.

Feeling ready for a rare good night's sleep, I turned off the television -- with Sean Hannity still smirking at me -- and hit the sack.

A short time later, I had an election-related dream (I'm weird like that) and awoke to pouring rain. Sofia, who almost always sleeps through the night, started to cry. I went down the hall and rocked her back to sleep. In my haze, the obvious thought that some things are more important than political elections (and selections) coincided with her falling back into a deep slumber.

When I awoke after 10 a.m. Wednesday, the rain had stop falling and the sun fought its way through the clouds.

I went into Sofia's room and she popped up in her crib, like a pop tart, and smiled at me. She didn't care that her daddy backed the losing horse. I was still her daddy.

Life will go on.

I don't like playing on the losing team, but it's nothing new. After my wounds heal, I may slowly become as passionate for Barack Obama's cause as I was for that of Hillary. If I did it immediately, it wouldn't be right or real. That's not what I like to think I'm about. It took me a while to get stoked about Hillary and -- if it happens at all -- it's going to be the same way now. You'll know when I'm ready. Just keep on reading and I'll keeping on writing.

For those of you who thought I would become McCain supporter, I'm sorry. You were probably reading more into my angst about Obama's free magic carpet ride, courtesy of the mainstream media, than necessary.

At my lowest ebb, after fellow Americans were cut into halves last weekend, the thought temporarily crossed my mind. Then I saw one of McCain's commercials and almost got sick to my stomach.

Deep down, I have the soul of an Independent, but this country puts Independents in the cheap seats of its political arena and I'm too into the game -- right or wrong, right or left -- to not be up close and personal.

Try not to take it personally.

I just don't see America the way the Republicans do. I am unbelievably bitter at the Democratic party, and Hillary's legacy may be that changes will be made in the very flawed process of picking a nominee, but I'll try stay loyal a little longer and see if they can stop screwing this thing up.

The dawn brings a new day and a new battlefield. If you need time to pick a side, take it. It may be the most important decision, as a voter, you'll make.

Just do what's right -- even it means veering left.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Couldn't Get It Right

A last supper for the damaged brains of the super delegates (and a moral victory for G2 and the Hill Shills):

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Democratic White House candidate Barack Obama has pulled ahead of Republican John McCain in the latest Gallup voter opinion survey, published Tuesday in USA Today.

Obama lead McCain 47 to 44 percent, in a reversal from Gallup's findings a month ago, which saw McCain ahead of Obama 47 to 45 percent.

Both leads are within the poll's four point margin of error.

Read it and weep, because there is no turning back now:

A MATCHUP PITTING HILLARY CLINTON AGAINST McCAIN SAW THE FORMER FIRST LADY WITH A SHARPER ADVANTAGE OF 49 PERCENT VERSUS 43 FOR THE PRESUMPTIVE REPUBLICAN NOMINEE, GALLUP FOUND.

In case you missed that, let us repeat:

A MATCHUP PITTING HILLARY CLINTON AGAINST McCAIN SAW THE FORMER FIRST LADY WITH A SHARPER ADVANTAGE OF 49 PERCENT VERSUS 43 FOR THE PRESUMPTIVE REPUBLICAN NOMINEE, GALLUP FOUND.

And now for the sobering news:

Obama was favored to win Tuesday's final two primaries in Montana and South Dakota and also to clinch the Democratic nomination, possibly in the same day.

And for what it's worth:

The poll found that 58 percent of Americans have a positive image of Obama, 56 view McCain favorably and 54 have a good opinion of Clinton.

And why we don't need four years of McCain and should have the person with the best chance of beating him in the fall?:

President George W. Bush's approval rating was just 28 percent.