Another view of Father's Day

By: GORDON GLANTZ , Times Herald Staff

There are millions upon billions upon trillions of dads who deserve a special day, albeit once a year, for all they do or did to keep cookie-cutter roofs over our heads and milkshakes in our bellies.

But let's face reality. There are the others.
Fathers who were like strangers. Fathers who cast a pall over the lives of their kids with varying forms of abuse. Fathers who died too young and, yes, fathers who lived too long and kept their progeny mired in their misery.
There may not be a holiday this side of the utterly nonsensical Valentine's Day that evokes such a wide range of squelched emotions for an untold number of souls who just wish the day would pass in 24 seconds instead of 24 hours.
While I feel your pain, I am relieved to declare that I am not among you.
And it's not that I don't have plenty of "father" issues, because I do.
My father and mother divorced when I was 1 1/2 years old (perhaps each blaming the other for the demon they had spawned), but my father never split the scene.
Sometimes to my chagrin, I visited every weekend and on alternating holidays with him and his new family. Meanwhile, my mother remarried a man who considered me his son.
So, while some of my friends had no fathers, I had two.
And while neither was perfect, I always knew they had my back. Adding in my hall-of-fame maternal grandfather (my paternal grandfather died when I was 4, but I have fond-though-faint memories), I was not at a loss for male role models.
I could have done without a lot of my father's subtle negativity and my stepfather's purposeful antagonism, but there is the sobering reality that these guys were only the age I am now when I was already a grade-school hellion.
In retrospect, they were doing the best they could under circumstances that were often rather weird.
And, as one of my many friends with an absentee father once told me: "It beats the alternative, man."
The Christians among you would say that the only perfect father was that of Jesus. And this lapsed Jew can't argue with what is about as good an analogy as there is on the issue.
There is, however, one place where the dads always rocked.
That place: Television.
So, without further adieu, here are the Top 10 TV fathers (if you're expecting a generic list, you have my permission to get lost):
10) Herman Munster (The Munsters) - For those of us who have ever been publicly embarrassed by our fathers, just think of what poor Eddie endured while still admiring his well-meaning monster of a dad.
9) Tony Soprano (The Sopranos) - Sorry, I couldn't resist. ... I didn't want to get rubbed out by not including my man, Tone, on da list. ... Then again, how many dads can drop their kid off for a college visit, go wack a dude and then pick the kid up on time?
8) Fred Flintstone (The Flintstones) - We all know some Fred Flintstones - well-meaning working stiffs who would take a bullet for their kids (in this case, the adorable Pebbles) - do we not? Fred is more like most of our fathers than guys who don't have to use their feet to make their cars go.
7) Archie Bunker (All in the Family) - Archie, much like Mr. Flintstone, was far from idyllic. But he was always there for his "Little Goil," even when she brought home an unemployed meathead to live in the Bunkers' humble abode on 704 Houser St., Queens, N.Y.
6) Ward Clever (Leave it to Beaver) - He was always bemused by the adventures of Wally and the Beaver, but suppressed his laughter enough to keep the boys on the right path.
5) Andy Sipowicz (NYPD Blue) - One of my favorite small-screen characters successfully did what many cannot. He formed a bond with a grown son after being an absentee father during Andy Jr.'s formative years. Watching it unfold, before the writers stupidly killed the son off, was magical.
4) Tom Corbett (The Courtship of Eddie's Father) - The theme song "Best Friend" - written by the late, great Harry Nilsson - sums it up. This single dad was his son's world.
3) James Evans (Good Times) - The father of J.J., a.k.a. "Kid Dynamite," was one of those dependable fathers who led by example. He always threatened violence, but garnered too much love and respect from his kids to have to follow through.
2) Mike Brady (The Brady Bunch) - There is one scene, set in the aftermath of Greg getting torched while pitching a Little League game, when the father-son exchange is about as poignant as I've seen on any sized screen. And it still makes me jealous that I went through adolescence without any such pep talk.
1) John Walton (The Waltons) - Go ahead, make all those "Good Night, John Boy" jokes. Many of the episodes - particularly in the first few years of the show's run - are cleanser for the soul. And "John Man," John Boy's father, was like a rock while keeping his family eating during The Great Depression by, literally, chopping wood.
Honorable Mention (Somebody get these guys a tie, too): Howard Cunningham (Happy Days); Charles "Pa" Ingalls (Little House on the Prairie); Dr. Cliff Huxtable (The Cosby Show); Sheriff Andy Taylor (The Andy Griffith Show); Jack Arnold (The Wonder Years).