So it seems my friendly nemesis Lisa Mossie is running for political office -- Upper Providence Township Board of Supervisors.
You have to admire her chutzpah.
I do.
That is why I am endorsing her in this pursuit (just me, not the paper, because it's TH policy not to endorse candidates).
This is not a joke with a pending punchline.
I repeat, this is not a joke.
Sorry, fellow Dems,
The first priority is local elections are people with two brain cells willing to think outside the box who are not just in it for the power trip.
I think, if elected, she will take the job seriously.
I mean, she is on "talk radio" for 12 listeners a few days a week and she think she's her idol, Ann Coulter.
She gives every pursuit her all.
I anything, she will make it interesting.
And if she doesn't do the job, you Upper Providence voters always have the option of voting her out the next time around.
This is still America.
I think.

Deep down, I always wanted to play in the NHL.
While it was a pipe dream unfulfilled, I can currently say I have as many playoff goals as several of the Flyers' big guns -- Danny Briere, Claude Giroux, Jeff Carter, Mike Richards, etc.

Not for nothing, but ... during the 10-minute ride from Sofia's pre-school to the office, I tuned in to WFYL (after initially confusing it with the other local-yocal station a little further up the AM dial) to see if I could catch either Lisa Mossie dishing out what she can't take or Jack P-Something, a whiny Gen Y know-it-all, taking cheap shots when they think I'm not listening (whisper: turns out that 3 out of the station's 7 1/2 morning listeners Monday were left-wing spies who reported directly back to the GIA --Gordonville Intelligence Agency -- and exposed host Barry Papiernik as a go-with-the-flow double-agent).
But I missed the Tuesday fun, instead catching the beginning of the Laura Ingraham Show.
Unlike Ms. Mossie, who disses and dismisses Maher and Moore without listening and watching, I stay tuned.
Ingraham was almost entertaining, I'll give her that. And she was mean-spirited, just as much -- if not more -- than some of my guys on the left.
While it's scary in the sense that she is knowingly preaching to a choir with a laughable limited vocal range, therefore adding fuel to their fire, I defend her right to ramble.
But I never -- ever -- want to hear people like Lisa running to the principal's office about the boys on the school bus, let alone little old me in my column.
The truth is that tea bagger meant one thing and now, because of the Tea Party gangsters, it means another in the broader perspective.
Get over it.

Hank Cisco always warns against the no-win scenario of getting into a ring, figurative or otherwise, and slugging it out with a bum.

This is why -- 19 times out of 20 -- I resist the temptation of responding to anti-Gordonites deriding me for something I wrote.

But my near and dear friend, local conservative pundit Lisa Mossie, is no bum.

To label her as such would be like Ed Sullivan speaking ill of The Beatles after giving them their big break (I did the same for Lisa -- although her talent, like that of the Fab Four, was self-evident -- way back when).

So when, out of the blue, she wrote a letter to the editor recently, wanting to know why I seemingly persist in called the Tea Bag movement "tea baggers" (the number of times I've done it is more perception than reality and has more to do with the tone of the column -- satirical or serious, angry or analytical -- on any given Sunday), I immediately squirreled away her missive to run above my column in this past Sunday's print edition.

It's a fair question, though, so I'm going to try to answer in a way that might make a woman who is complimented when compared to Ann Coulter comprehend my strategic uses of the term.

The problem, in general, with the right wing is they seriously lack a developed sense of humor.

Taking Larry The Cable Guy out of the equation, the only comedian they can really counter with is ... yawn ... Dennis ... Zzzzzz .... Miller. If that guy were half as funny -- or witty -- as he thinks he is, well, he would almost be dangerous.

All their other pundits -- from Rush Limbaugh to the lineup of Fox News, or WFYL, talking heads -- swing and miss and being funny more than a pimple-faced geek trying to ask out each member of the cheerleading squad.

This explains the typical Tea Partier in the proverbial nutshell. They cop a term from history without any real context to support it, other than that it sounds good. They have these protests with hateful antics, which somehow they think are going to come across as playful, and don't get it why no one outside their little hunter-gatherer club is laughing.

It's because the joke is on them. From Day One, they set themselves up to be the punchline on his one.

During the time of trying to assert themselves on the Fox News dime, some Tea Party types were the first ones to call themselves "tea baggers" (I can hear you now, Lisa, ranting that I'm getting this information from the left-wing/mainstream media when I should be tuning into WFYL 1180 a.m. for the stone-cold facts-- but I have confirmed this with confidence).

Clever -- and more worldly liberals that we are -- we found humor within the failed humor of the terms laughable misuse, and pointed out that "tea-bagging" is a sexual act performed by those dastardly homosexuals.

And you wanna cry foul?

Nope. Doesn't work that way.

You wanna dish it out -- and carry signs with Hitler's mustache on President Obama's face -- but you now can't take it.

Really?

You say you are offended?

Get over it.

Welcome to the Escalator Of Life, Lisa and Co.

We're all being a little childish here.

When has politics not been that way?

It's a cesspool with a grade-school mentality.

And right now, on this one, it's recess.

When the bell rings, I promise I'll stop being a bully and let you up (even though you really haven't had enough). I can't speak for the likes of Bill Maher, from whom I admittedly take some cues with my perceived chip shots, but Gordon Glantz will ease up (as if what Gordon Glantz writes really amounts to a hill of ants).

And we get back into the classroom, we can open up our history textbooks -- or just our dictionaries -- and ferret out the meaning of being a "patriot" and compare it to how it is being demented.

Anyone in the Tea Party movement is being more offensive by thinking "patriot" -- in any stretch of the term -- applies to them (simply because they want to see Obama's birth certificate, don't think gays should be married or demand that you read their juvenile Contract With America) -- than anyone having a little fun by throwing a misused term back in their face.

But since I don't want anyone calling me a bum, I will try to rise above it -- even though I know those equally offensive attempts to link patriotism and "real Americans in real America" to the Tea Baggers (sorry, one last time for good luck) will not cease from your side.

There are more important issues -- ones being washed away in a tide of misinformation right now -- to get bogged down with silliness spewed from the likes of Rand Paul.

But don't get me started with that guy.

He's just a bum in a suit.

And we don't mess with bums.