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Escalator Of Life
Hank Cisco always warns against the no-win scenario of getting into a ring, figurative or otherwise, and slugging it out with a bum.
This is why -- 19 times out of 20 -- I resist the temptation of responding to anti-Gordonites deriding me for something I wrote.
But my near and dear friend, local conservative pundit Lisa Mossie, is no bum.
To label her as such would be like Ed Sullivan speaking ill of The Beatles after giving them their big break (I did the same for Lisa -- although her talent, like that of the Fab Four, was self-evident -- way back when).
So when, out of the blue, she wrote a letter to the editor recently, wanting to know why I seemingly persist in called the Tea Bag movement "tea baggers" (the number of times I've done it is more perception than reality and has more to do with the tone of the column -- satirical or serious, angry or analytical -- on any given Sunday), I immediately squirreled away her missive to run above my column in this past Sunday's print edition.
It's a fair question, though, so I'm going to try to answer in a way that might make a woman who is complimented when compared to Ann Coulter comprehend my strategic uses of the term.
The problem, in general, with the right wing is they seriously lack a developed sense of humor.
Taking Larry The Cable Guy out of the equation, the only comedian they can really counter with is ... yawn ... Dennis ... Zzzzzz .... Miller. If that guy were half as funny -- or witty -- as he thinks he is, well, he would almost be dangerous.
All their other pundits -- from Rush Limbaugh to the lineup of Fox News, or WFYL, talking heads -- swing and miss and being funny more than a pimple-faced geek trying to ask out each member of the cheerleading squad.
This explains the typical Tea Partier in the proverbial nutshell. They cop a term from history without any real context to support it, other than that it sounds good. They have these protests with hateful antics, which somehow they think are going to come across as playful, and don't get it why no one outside their little hunter-gatherer club is laughing.
It's because the joke is on them. From Day One, they set themselves up to be the punchline on his one.
During the time of trying to assert themselves on the Fox News dime, some Tea Party types were the first ones to call themselves "tea baggers" (I can hear you now, Lisa, ranting that I'm getting this information from the left-wing/mainstream media when I should be tuning into WFYL 1180 a.m. for the stone-cold facts-- but I have confirmed this with confidence).
Clever -- and more worldly liberals that we are -- we found humor within the failed humor of the terms laughable misuse, and pointed out that "tea-bagging" is a sexual act performed by those dastardly homosexuals.
And you wanna cry foul?
Nope. Doesn't work that way.
You wanna dish it out -- and carry signs with Hitler's mustache on President Obama's face -- but you now can't take it.
Really?
You say you are offended?
Get over it.
Welcome to the Escalator Of Life, Lisa and Co.
We're all being a little childish here.
When has politics not been that way?
It's a cesspool with a grade-school mentality.
And right now, on this one, it's recess.
When the bell rings, I promise I'll stop being a bully and let you up (even though you really haven't had enough). I can't speak for the likes of Bill Maher, from whom I admittedly take some cues with my perceived chip shots, but Gordon Glantz will ease up (as if what Gordon Glantz writes really amounts to a hill of ants).
And we get back into the classroom, we can open up our history textbooks -- or just our dictionaries -- and ferret out the meaning of being a "patriot" and compare it to how it is being demented.
Anyone in the Tea Party movement is being more offensive by thinking "patriot" -- in any stretch of the term -- applies to them (simply because they want to see Obama's birth certificate, don't think gays should be married or demand that you read their juvenile Contract With America) -- than anyone having a little fun by throwing a misused term back in their face.
But since I don't want anyone calling me a bum, I will try to rise above it -- even though I know those equally offensive attempts to link patriotism and "real Americans in real America" to the Tea Baggers (sorry, one last time for good luck) will not cease from your side.
There are more important issues -- ones being washed away in a tide of misinformation right now -- to get bogged down with silliness spewed from the likes of Rand Paul.
But don't get me started with that guy.
He's just a bum in a suit.
And we don't mess with bums.
This is why -- 19 times out of 20 -- I resist the temptation of responding to anti-Gordonites deriding me for something I wrote.
But my near and dear friend, local conservative pundit Lisa Mossie, is no bum.
To label her as such would be like Ed Sullivan speaking ill of The Beatles after giving them their big break (I did the same for Lisa -- although her talent, like that of the Fab Four, was self-evident -- way back when).
So when, out of the blue, she wrote a letter to the editor recently, wanting to know why I seemingly persist in called the Tea Bag movement "tea baggers" (the number of times I've done it is more perception than reality and has more to do with the tone of the column -- satirical or serious, angry or analytical -- on any given Sunday), I immediately squirreled away her missive to run above my column in this past Sunday's print edition.
It's a fair question, though, so I'm going to try to answer in a way that might make a woman who is complimented when compared to Ann Coulter comprehend my strategic uses of the term.
The problem, in general, with the right wing is they seriously lack a developed sense of humor.
Taking Larry The Cable Guy out of the equation, the only comedian they can really counter with is ... yawn ... Dennis ... Zzzzzz .... Miller. If that guy were half as funny -- or witty -- as he thinks he is, well, he would almost be dangerous.
All their other pundits -- from Rush Limbaugh to the lineup of Fox News, or WFYL, talking heads -- swing and miss and being funny more than a pimple-faced geek trying to ask out each member of the cheerleading squad.
This explains the typical Tea Partier in the proverbial nutshell. They cop a term from history without any real context to support it, other than that it sounds good. They have these protests with hateful antics, which somehow they think are going to come across as playful, and don't get it why no one outside their little hunter-gatherer club is laughing.
It's because the joke is on them. From Day One, they set themselves up to be the punchline on his one.
During the time of trying to assert themselves on the Fox News dime, some Tea Party types were the first ones to call themselves "tea baggers" (I can hear you now, Lisa, ranting that I'm getting this information from the left-wing/mainstream media when I should be tuning into WFYL 1180 a.m. for the stone-cold facts-- but I have confirmed this with confidence).
Clever -- and more worldly liberals that we are -- we found humor within the failed humor of the terms laughable misuse, and pointed out that "tea-bagging" is a sexual act performed by those dastardly homosexuals.
And you wanna cry foul?
Nope. Doesn't work that way.
You wanna dish it out -- and carry signs with Hitler's mustache on President Obama's face -- but you now can't take it.
Really?
You say you are offended?
Get over it.
Welcome to the Escalator Of Life, Lisa and Co.
We're all being a little childish here.
When has politics not been that way?
It's a cesspool with a grade-school mentality.
And right now, on this one, it's recess.
When the bell rings, I promise I'll stop being a bully and let you up (even though you really haven't had enough). I can't speak for the likes of Bill Maher, from whom I admittedly take some cues with my perceived chip shots, but Gordon Glantz will ease up (as if what Gordon Glantz writes really amounts to a hill of ants).
And we get back into the classroom, we can open up our history textbooks -- or just our dictionaries -- and ferret out the meaning of being a "patriot" and compare it to how it is being demented.
Anyone in the Tea Party movement is being more offensive by thinking "patriot" -- in any stretch of the term -- applies to them (simply because they want to see Obama's birth certificate, don't think gays should be married or demand that you read their juvenile Contract With America) -- than anyone having a little fun by throwing a misused term back in their face.
But since I don't want anyone calling me a bum, I will try to rise above it -- even though I know those equally offensive attempts to link patriotism and "real Americans in real America" to the Tea Baggers (sorry, one last time for good luck) will not cease from your side.
There are more important issues -- ones being washed away in a tide of misinformation right now -- to get bogged down with silliness spewed from the likes of Rand Paul.
But don't get me started with that guy.
He's just a bum in a suit.
And we don't mess with bums.
posted by Gordon Glantz at
9:11 PM
12 Comments:
You're shopping in the Human Mall!
Hope you find the sales.
She's a bum, sorry.
Well, that was a nice try, Gordon, but unfortunately, very wide of the mark. Care to elaborate in detail exactly what the homosexual act of teabagging entails? Is it a term you want tripping off of your little girl’s tongue?
Yeah. I thought not.
We conservatives may be a humorless lot by your standards, but I offer this anecdote to illustrate my objections:
When I was in sixth grade, the group of boys who rode my bus discovered Ted Nugent. They were fascinated by the song, “Cat Scratch Fever.” Now, I still don’t know what the full extent of the sexual innuendo was behind the song (or perhaps more importantly, what they THOUGHT it was), simply because I’m not that motivated to find out, but suffice to say, those obnoxious sixth grade boys found the sexual innuendo of that song HI-LAR-I-OUS! For a solid three months they took to boisterously asking every girl on the bus if she had “cat scratch fever.” It didn’t matter what the answer was:
“AHAHAHAHAAH! She said she HAD cat scratch fever!!”
“AHAHAHAHAHA! She said she DIDN’T have cat scratch fever!!”
“AHAHAHAHAHAHA! She didn’t answer the question!! What’s the matter, cat got your tongue???? AHAHAHAHAHA!”
The point being that only the boys were in on the puerile joke and that’s what made it so side splittingly funny to them. That’s what the use of the term “tea bagger” reminds me of: immature sixth grade boys laughing about sexual innuendo they don’t quite understand. I know you can express yourself better than that and am gratified to learn that you will be doing so in the future (despite your unwillingness to admit that I am completely right about this.)
I’m not surprised that you don’t get the lightning wit of Dennis Miller—he throws too many historical and pop cultural references into his routines that many on the left are simply not informed enough to know about, let alone get. No wonder you guys find him boring.
But as for your new standard bearer, Bill Maher, well he’s just the very apex of witty sophistication, isn’t he? His calling Sarah Palin a c**t and a dumb tw*t, that’s comic genius, isn’t it? It really doesn’t matter whether the punchline didn’t even come close to hitting the mark since the slur WAS the punchline. Seriously, did Sarah Palin even issue a statement on Japan? Or is this just another one of a long line of lazy “<> is so stupid” bashes that’s funny only to liberals, because again, it makes them feel like they are superior to the target? You know, like those 12-year-old boys in the back of the bus?
Tell me, Gordon, why is it not only funny, but ok for a liberal to reduce a woman—any woman, no matter what her politics---to a derogatory name associated with her anatomy? How is that any different, or any less bigoted, than calling an African American the “N” word?
Not quite on the same level as the tea partiers co-opting the word "patriot" is it?
Lisa,
Nice try, but way off the mark.
Was your letter to the editor about Sarah Palin?
G2F
You should have never printed her stupid letter!
There's a certain irony extant when a Leftist whines about Conservatives not having a "sense of humor." Particularly when "political correctness" (one of the Left's most powerful weapons) is largely responsible for folks' having to watch every little thing they say-- jokes of course included.
Some of the funniest people I've ever encountered are Conservatives; Liberals are generally the most thin-skinned, bitter, miserable ones. There are exceptions of course, but that's a taste of my experiences.
And it's funny how the author makes references to "WFYL" as though it's a real radio station with actual listeners. I reach more people updating my Facebook status than that "station" does in afternoon drive.
Good point about WFYL having less of a reach than a Facebook (or Twitter) account, but you lose me after that. If it's true what you say about the left whining about political correctness, why does the right let itself get sucked into the same cycle?
Also, while some on the left are thin-skinned, there is a fine line between being funny and mean.
Both sides cross it, particularly in the Bush-bashing days, but the right seems to be less graceful because it gets into race and religion.
The genius of comedy is finding ways to show we are alike, as opposed to different.
I still say you should have never printed her stupid letter!
Maybe WFYL would have more listeners if they didn't sweep Gordon under the rug.
He was on a few times and I thought it was a real good format for him (almost as good as his column space, even though I struggle to agree with many of his viewpoints).
But they tried to pigeonhole him to just sports and then he was gone altogether.
Not sure what happened but I heard it wasn't pretty.
Maybe Gordon would have more readers if he made more sense.
Ha!
You're so funny Ross!
Maybe you should take that comedy act on the road!
Just let us know when and where so we know not to show up!
Not trying to be. There is nothing funny about it. Gordon should be shut down. It is an on going disgrace.
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