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Celluloid Heroes
The filming of 'A Shot In The Foot," and ensemble-style movie flick based on Norristown (called Norrisburg), may take some time (like everything else around here). Therefore, the below list of who would play play who is an ongoing exercise and subject to change.
There are some ground-rules, however. While we won't publish the dates of birth here, my rule is that the actor has to be within a general age range (no more than five years younger or older) than the person they are playing. And, obviously, no dead actors. Think as if the movie is being filmed tomorrow.
This is what we have so far:
Yours Truly: Jon Favereau, Paul Giamatti, Jeff Garlin, Jeremy Piven and Adam Sandler
Yours Truly (the older version for flash-forward scenes): Eric Bogosian
Times Herald Editor Stan Huskey: Gary Grubbs or Chris Cooper
Times Herald Publisher Shelley Meenan: Holly Hunter
Times Herald Special Projects Editor Cheryl Kehoe Rodgers: Cheryl Kehoe Rodgers
Times Herald News Editor Ann Cornell: Natalie Portman or Amy Adams
Times Herald Online Editor John Berry: Jason Lee
Former Times Herald Reporter Dan Kelley: Joaquin Phoenix
Times Herald Reporter Gary Puleo: Steve Schirripa
Times Herald Reporter Keith Phucas: Kurtwood Smith
Times Herald Reporter Carl Rotenberg: David Paymer
Times Herald Features Creature Melissa Brooks: Brittany Snow
Times Herald Sports Editor Dave Kurtz: Huey Lewis
Montgomery County DA Risa Ferman: Helen Hunt
Norristown Chief of Police Russell J. Bono: James Caan
Norristown Det. Lt. Kevin McKeon: Gary Sinise
Norristown Capt. Willie Richet: Jim Brown
Norristown Cop Katie O'Connor: Tina Fey
Norristown High Principal Joe Howell: Wilford Brimley
Norristown High Guidance Counselor Ernie Hadrick: Danny Glover
Community Agitator Robert Wright: Richard Gant
Mediterranean Philanthropist: Robert Loggio or Michael Constantine
Former Times Times Herald Sports Editor Tony Leodora: Joe Pesci (uncredited)
Norristown Ambassador Hank Cisco: Danny Aiello
And now ... we really you help for the rest:
Montgomery County Commissioner Bruce L. Castor Jr.: Josh Brolin? Bill Paxton?
Montgomery County Commissioner James Matthews: ???
Montgomery County Commissioner Joe Hoeffel: ???
Montgomery County First DA Kevin Steele: ???
Montgomery County Sheriff John P. Durante: Vincent Pastore?
Times Herald Photographer Gene Walsh: John C. McGinley? Tom Berenger?
Times Herald Photographer Andrea Stanely: ???
Times Herald Assistant News Editor Rebecca Catagnus: ???
Times Herald Copy Editor Kevin O'Brien: Mickey Rourke?
Times Herald Sports Writer Tom Kerrane: Matthew Perry?
Times Herald Sports Writer Dennis C. Way: Nick Nolte? Gary Busey?
Times Herald Reporter/Sports Writer Matt Bretzius: ???
Times Herald Features Editor Philomena Johns: ???
Times Herald Contributing Columnist Lisa Mossie: Ann Coulter?
Times Herald Sports Desk Assistants Bill Schneider and Stuart Christ (composite character): Pee Wee Herman?
La Voz Editor Reinaldo Garcia: Michael Pena? Jay Hernandez? Lombardo Boyar? Jack Guzman? Rick Gonzalez?
Times Herald Intern Katie Clark: Dakota Fanning?
Norristown PAL Guy Brett Wells: ???
Norristown Parks and Rec. Director Bill Plichta: ???
Norristown High Football Coach E.J. Smith: Eddie Murphy?
There are some ground-rules, however. While we won't publish the dates of birth here, my rule is that the actor has to be within a general age range (no more than five years younger or older) than the person they are playing. And, obviously, no dead actors. Think as if the movie is being filmed tomorrow.
This is what we have so far:
Yours Truly: Jon Favereau, Paul Giamatti, Jeff Garlin, Jeremy Piven and Adam Sandler
Yours Truly (the older version for flash-forward scenes): Eric Bogosian
Times Herald Editor Stan Huskey: Gary Grubbs or Chris Cooper
Times Herald Publisher Shelley Meenan: Holly Hunter
Times Herald Special Projects Editor Cheryl Kehoe Rodgers: Cheryl Kehoe Rodgers
Times Herald News Editor Ann Cornell: Natalie Portman or Amy Adams
Times Herald Online Editor John Berry: Jason Lee
Former Times Herald Reporter Dan Kelley: Joaquin Phoenix
Times Herald Reporter Gary Puleo: Steve Schirripa
Times Herald Reporter Keith Phucas: Kurtwood Smith
Times Herald Reporter Carl Rotenberg: David Paymer
Times Herald Features Creature Melissa Brooks: Brittany Snow
Times Herald Sports Editor Dave Kurtz: Huey Lewis
Montgomery County DA Risa Ferman: Helen Hunt
Norristown Chief of Police Russell J. Bono: James Caan
Norristown Det. Lt. Kevin McKeon: Gary Sinise
Norristown Capt. Willie Richet: Jim Brown
Norristown Cop Katie O'Connor: Tina Fey
Norristown High Principal Joe Howell: Wilford Brimley
Norristown High Guidance Counselor Ernie Hadrick: Danny Glover
Community Agitator Robert Wright: Richard Gant
Mediterranean Philanthropist: Robert Loggio or Michael Constantine
Former Times Times Herald Sports Editor Tony Leodora: Joe Pesci (uncredited)
Norristown Ambassador Hank Cisco: Danny Aiello
And now ... we really you help for the rest:
Montgomery County Commissioner Bruce L. Castor Jr.: Josh Brolin? Bill Paxton?
Montgomery County Commissioner James Matthews: ???
Montgomery County Commissioner Joe Hoeffel: ???
Montgomery County First DA Kevin Steele: ???
Montgomery County Sheriff John P. Durante: Vincent Pastore?
Times Herald Photographer Gene Walsh: John C. McGinley? Tom Berenger?
Times Herald Photographer Andrea Stanely: ???
Times Herald Assistant News Editor Rebecca Catagnus: ???
Times Herald Copy Editor Kevin O'Brien: Mickey Rourke?
Times Herald Sports Writer Tom Kerrane: Matthew Perry?
Times Herald Sports Writer Dennis C. Way: Nick Nolte? Gary Busey?
Times Herald Reporter/Sports Writer Matt Bretzius: ???
Times Herald Features Editor Philomena Johns: ???
Times Herald Contributing Columnist Lisa Mossie: Ann Coulter?
Times Herald Sports Desk Assistants Bill Schneider and Stuart Christ (composite character): Pee Wee Herman?
La Voz Editor Reinaldo Garcia: Michael Pena? Jay Hernandez? Lombardo Boyar? Jack Guzman? Rick Gonzalez?
Times Herald Intern Katie Clark: Dakota Fanning?
Norristown PAL Guy Brett Wells: ???
Norristown Parks and Rec. Director Bill Plichta: ???
Norristown High Football Coach E.J. Smith: Eddie Murphy?
posted by Gordon Glantz at
8:16 AM
25 Comments:
I like Will Smith better than Eie Murphy for E.J. Smith. I'll have to think on the others.
Was Gene Walsh in Vietnam or something? Why all the Platoon actors? Throw in Willam Dafoe and Charlie Sheen too while you're at it.
Another funny column. I luv your wry wit. One thing, though. Why didn't you list more of the local politicians? I think Jeff Garlin is Larry David's chunky friend on Curb Your Enthusiam. He would be a good Daylin Leach. What about Kevin Bacon for Mike Vereb?
HA! HA!
NO NEED FOR ANYONE TO PLAY MATT BRADFORD. HE'S THE INVISIBLE MAN. HOW ANYONE COULD HAVE VOTED FOR HIM INSTEAD OF JAY MOYER IS ASTONISHING1
You better start filming this fast. Sounds like The Times Herald is about to take a long walk off a short pier.
That's the parent company not the Times Herald.
What's the difference?
Gordon, I'm a litle discouraged. Your column is really a rip on Norristown. If you dislike it that much, don't work here!
Dave, get real. Norristown deserves all it gets. The CHOP thing was pathetic. It's like the beggar who turns down bread because he wants a bagel. Norristown is a bagel. A big, fat zero. Didn't have to be that way, but it is. Now it's newspaper might go under. I give people like Gordon credit for staying sooooo long when he could have taken his talents elsewhere. If you want a rosey picture, read Stan Huskey instead. I thought the column was dead-on and the casting call angle a fun twist. Lighten up, mister.
We do this at work every day talk about who would play who its fun i watched Big Love last night and think bill paxton would be a good bruce castor.
Jeez Connie, sounds like you are in a real productive workplace. I hope you don't work on our dime for the county or the state.
Who else finds it interesting that the Inquirer put is bankruptcy on the front page and the Herald buried the news? Hey Gordon and Stan, man up!
Instead of a feature film about Norristown, maybe there should be a daily soap about Lower Providence. Who plays Jim Mollick?
Building 12 would make a nice subplot to this saga. Norristown shoots itself in the foot either way. They blow a chance to make better use of the state hospital or add more riff-raff to the town. Why do we end up in these predicaments all time? Lose-lose. Never win-win. I don't think I'd even want to see this movie, to be honest with you.
stan and castor should both be played by bozo the clown
Hey Rocky, I said the same thing, how the tabloid herald buried the news in their paper while blaring out the news of the Inquirer.
Just like their reporters who don't check to make sure that what the county says is the truth before blaring that everywhere. NAACP had to write their own retraction about margeret gibbons who made them look like they were argumentative. Stereotypes are part of most of the tabloid herald's stories.
Helen Hunt for Ferman? Tina Fey would be better, just like she was for Palin. Both are jokes.
Huskey should be played by Bush as he does the same thing as Bush did with his Willie Horton biased slant to what gets reported in his newspaper. He goes on and on about not printing Dillon Cossey's name, but had no problem with Margeret Gibbons printed an innocent child's name. Why? She is Black and Dillon is White.
Tina Fey is too pretty and down to earth to play that two-faced Risa Furman!
Underdog said...
Tina Fey is too pretty and down to earth to play that two-faced Risa Furman!
Thank you! It's just like what I was told about the sentencing of Danielle Cattie. When I heard who the witnesses where who testified to her character, I was astonished! A drug dealer and a person who is not doing business legally convinced the judge that she was a good mother? Then of course, after I heard that the District attorney made her admit to her criminal past and her family's criminal past, and it didn't appear in the Times Herald, I thought the reporter must have been asleep. I know I read where some man committed suicide in a jail and the reporter mentioned a relative that was in trouble. So why not now? Two-faced is right for Risa Ferman and Stan Huskey. Maybe if they can find Gemini, he can be the actor for those two.
I was just watching that little lioness Risa on your Web site. Still not sure who should play her, but it'll come to me,
Although I agree with your choice of Ann Coulter for Lisa Mossie, another suggestion was that Ann was a perfect choice for Risa. After seeing the pic of Risa holding an assault rifle, earmark wannabee queen moose patty Palin came to mind. A second place beauty(?) queen who lost to a Black woman. Both are all about grabbing the headlines instead of letting the actual cops present their story, after all, they are the ones who bagged the bad guys. Airheads with no substance, just like that b-rated talking head Reagan. And Stan's leader Rush oxycontin draft dodger (because of a pimple on his rear) Limbaugh has been liken to the Pillsbury Doughboy on steroids.
Who to take the part of Risa ... We would need a very attractive and intelligent person. Most people responding to Gordon's Back Page, have no idea what is required to qualify & manage this job. Acting and doing a job is really different isn't it???
Who to take the part of Gordy? The gentleman who is outspoken but has a way of making you think...Limbaugh. He is a bit larger than you Gordy, but you should be able to live with that, as you will probably put on a few pounds in your real life before this great film/stage show comes about.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Who to take the part of Risa ... We would need a very attractive and intelligent person. Most people responding to Gordon's Back Page, have no idea what is required to qualify & manage this job. Acting and doing a job is really different isn't it???
March 17, 2009 3:31 PM
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Attractive? So that's the "high" bar to become a DA? BS! I worked with Government Attorneys, and this "hand-picked" successor of the clown castor isn't doing a great job of being attractive or intelligent. Just like castor put his commission sign in his bathroom, so is this new DA putting her office in the toilet. The bias seethes in there with the racism going on in the office and in the courts. And the TH tabloid plays it up, but the movie falls flat on its face with such amateurs. Too bad someone doesn't put a gag order on them so we don't waste a bunch of trees printing their "press" conferences.
BTW, love the choice for Word Verification... suckd... fits right in with this group of circus performers.
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