Dear Readers,

I didn't have room for all the "What Is And What Should Never Be" entries for my Aug. 3 column in the print edition.

But this is 2008. And we have blogs.

If the talking heads from political talk shows can continue their banter in place they call "the green room," why can't G2 do the same at Blog Central?

So ... enjoy:

What Is: Robert J. Kerns, Montgomery County's new GOP imperial wizard, recently announced a desperate plea for his "little elephants" to return home after the embarrassment of his party, which once had a 2-1 voter edge in the county, trailing by around 10,000 voters following a spate of party jumping in the run-up to April's primary.

And What Should Never Be: Pomposity.

Most of the people I know who officially switched parties so they could vote in a real, live presidential primary considered themselves either Democrats or Independents at heart anyway.
They are not longing to find their way home like lost "little elephants."

They just never had a reason before this to change parties in a county where becoming a Democrat once made as much sense as, say, wearing a Halloween costume on Thanksgiving Day. Being a Democrat in Montgomery County just wasn't the thing to do if you wanted to do anything that would or could involve calling in a favor one day, so no one did it.

But the times, they are a changin'. Sorry, Mr. Kerns.

"Part of this registration program is to bring home all those people who have kind of lost their way, if you would, and we hope the little elephants decide to come back to the GOP again," Kerns said during a news conference on the steps of the county courthouse. "We tell them, it's time to come home, little elephants. We think that we have the perfect home for you."

A perfect home, huh?

While the Democrats scored a moral victory by taking five of nine row offices, the Republicans maintained a 2-1 edge in county commissioners.

The only problem there is that one of the GOP commissioners, Jim Matthews, stabbed the other Republican, Bruce L. Castor Jr., between the shoulder blades and aligned himself with the lone Democrat, Joe Hoeffel III.

With the backdrop of this political civil war, Kerns really thinks the "little elephants" are going to feel good about finding their way home because he demands it?

"For whatever reason voters may have switched, the time to come home and embrace the Montgomery County Republican Party is now," Kerns said, apparently with a straight face. "We are the party that reaches out to all groups and makes voters views and opinions count."

For whatever reason? Oh, maybe he it was a comedy routine.

The voters -- myself, a Democrat, included -- gave Castor the most votes and he is the one locked out of the process.

Our views and opinions count, Mr. Kerns?

I know it was all easy fodder for Kerns' counterpart, Marcel Groen, but I have to say that Groen hit the nail right on the 'ol noggin in his published response.

It was clear the excitement of the battle between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, as compared the GOP race all neatly tied up in a bow before most of the country had a say, was a major factor in the changing of parties.

But, as Groen said, the insinuation the registration switches were "on a lark" was inaccurate.

"They switched because the Democratic Party is offering better candidates and because the Democratic Party is on the right side of the issues that Americans, Republican and Democratic, care about," he was quoted as saying.

Hard for even a little donkey to argue with that one, huh?

What Is: My wife and I -- along with the little one -- have on a bit of an ethnic festival tour lately, attending the Italian feast at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Church in Bridgeport and then the Polish gathering at Sacred Heart in Swedesburg.

And What Should Never Be: Thinking this things are closed to those not of that ethnic group or the sponsoring church, as these festivals are really a slice of Americana worth checking out.

We had a lot of food, fun and – and more food – at both gatherings.

If I had to rate them, I would give a slight nod to the Polish festival. Parking was easier and the quarters were less cramped. Most importantly, more people stopped dead in their tracks and commented on Sofia’s obvious cuteness.

Or maybe it was just the timing. After all, the Polish festival was the night before the ArenaBowl. There was anticipation – mixing with the smell of kielbasa and pierogis – in the air.

Oh, who am I kidding. I was feeling a little bit nervous at the Italian festival. I spotted local boxer Harry Yorgey in the throng and I knew that if he knew I was the guy who put the news item about his recent DUI arrest on the front page of the paper, he may want to go a few rounds.

I could use this spot to joke about my pugilistic skills being about on the same level as some of the people Yorgey has fought en route to compiling an unblemished record, but that would be out of line.

I would like to explain some of the thinking behind putting the DUI story on the front page of the paper when we often don't put DUIs in the paper at all.

Yorgey, who I remember as a hard-working -- and affable -- fullback/linebacker at Upper Merion High -- has made something of himself. He is a pro boxer and, judging by the way he held court at the festival, a local celebrity who people -- particularly kids -- look up to.

He is -- in journalism jargon -- a public figure. And a public figure is judged by a different standard when comes to crimes, even shoplifting or a DUI where there was no accident.

We all wish Harry well in his upcoming bout. His "people" may not believe that, but it's sincere.

What Is: Speaking of boxers, I thought they were the only ones who didn't know how to announce they were retiring and mean it. Brett Favre is proving me wrong.

And What Should Never Be: Self-importance.

I never bought into the aw-shucks, country-boy routine of Favre. Mark it down now and put it in an envelope for safe keeping. One day it will be revealed that Favre had some psychological problems that involved the need for attention.

Remember when he turned his pill addiction into an episode of "Falcon Crest?" And what about the predictable "I wanna play anyway" routine after his father died. Then there was Hurricane Katrina being all about him.

After every off-season, he has to let his decision whether to play another year or retire linger to last minute.

The guy -- even though he doesn't know how to pronounced his own last name -- was a fantastic quarterback at one time.

He won one Super Bowl. Same number as ... Trent Dilfer.

Since then, he has been a decent quarterback that the media -- probably because Favre gives interviews -- has worked overtime to make seem like something other than that.

Every bad interception is followed by a replay and a pronouncement that is wasn't really Favre's fault because the receiver ran a poor pattern or didn't fight hard enough for the ball or the defensive back made a super-human play.

It's sickening.

My hunch is that Favre doesn't want to play this year. He just wanted some headlines for himself as a season started without him.

Let me repeat: I never bought into the aw-shucks, country-boy routine of Favre. Mark it down now and put it in an envelope for safe keeping. One day it will be revealed that Favre had some psychological problems that involved the need for attention.