Gordon: My Back Pages

Limelight

2011-10-10T12:35:00.000-07:00

If you are still frustrated about the Studio Centre movie studios filed in the burgeoning phone-book-sized volumes of recent Norristown missed opportunities, fret not.

A movie -- "Silver Linings" -- was being filmed today on the grounds of the Norristown State Hospital.

It must be a big deal, because it stars Bradley Cooper. While I wouldn't know Cooper if he walked up and punched me in the nose, I'm told he is a big star with Montgomery County roots.

The plot of the movie is apparently that of a former teacher, Cooper, who comes home to live with his mother after spending time in a mental institution.

I wish the makers of the film would have reached out earlier. If they wanted to tape a scene in a real live nuthouse, we could have taken care of them here in our newsroom.

Knock Three Times

2011-10-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

Upon further review, Amanda Knox and her one-time boyfriend, Raffaelle Sollecito, are not guilty in the brutal murder of her roommate Meredith Kercher in the Bohemian Italian town of Perugia.

Sadly, there are so many unanswered questions.

Not that I really care about a case that got too much media coverage when crimes like this happen all the time, but I couldn’t even tell you if Knox and friend got off on a technicality or were railroaded from the jump.

All the American media coverage was about how her “four-year nightmare is over” and how she is “free to go home.”

Check out the BBC or CNN International coverage, and the slant was much different (Kercher was British). It was more about the victim, her family, an unsolved crime and the fact those at least partially responsible were allowed to walk.

But no network really broke down the crime itself, at least not in a coherent fashion, and instead took the easy road of focusing more on the immediate reaction and hyperbole.

My years of training from watching old-time detective/police shows tells me that Knox and Sollecito were not involved in the murder, and that Rudy Guede (serving a 16-year term, which was less than Knox’s before it was overturned) acted alone or with someone yet unknown.

Spirit in the Sky

2011-07-04T09:23:00.000-07:00

While today, July 4, is supposed to be a happy day, let's pause to remember those in pain. I found this message today on the Facebook page dedicated to the memory of Skyler Kauffman, the young girl murdered weeks before her 10th birthday. The message was from her mom, Heather Gebhard, and it is a reminder to hold our kids just a little tighter as we watch fireworks and eat hot dogs:

"Hi baby girl this my first 4th oif july without you it is going to be hard. I love you with all my heart.This is so hard all i wanna do is just cry all day long. Well baby girl you are safe in heaven from all the evil in this world. Skye baby we will meet again and mommy cant wait to see you and hold you in my arms and say that i love you"

Those Were The Days

2011-06-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

I never thought there would be a time when I would consider myself a casual sports fan, but -- with the exception of the NFL (remember that?) and NHL -- that's what I've become.

I don't watch baseball (except in the playoffs). Because the Phillies are enjoying some Glory Days (obligatory Springsteen reference), I do "monitor" games (watch the Phillies bat, which doesn't take too long these days, and then click away to CNN).

Boxing used to be cool, but that was before Don King stuck his fangs into it.

Golf, NASCAR ... not sports. Tennis, no rooting interest in individuals.

College basketball and football is all about my alma mater, Temple.

The NBA? A long, sad story. The short version is that there are too many teams -- and too many players stealing paychecks -- to make the drama anything more than manufactured.

The players are amazing athletes, but the game just isn't what it used to be. It's either a dunk or a three-pointer. The fluidity, which is what made the game an urban ballet in its day, is largely gone.

I might have predicted I would get this point one day, maybe as a grumpy old man, but not yet.

Got to say, this is a surprise.

To say I was weaned on sports would be an understatement.

During the week, I played too much for my own good (my report cards showed it). My maternal grandfather, with whom I spent a lot of time, was always watching sports -- even if the only choices were roller derby or midget wrestling.

My stepfather was a fan, but didn't see the point of spending money on tickets to games. Reportedly athletic in his day, I would seek his council on throwing a block or a curve. Sometimes, I'd get it. Sometimes, I'd get a lecture on how stupid sports were compared to school (then he would turn on a game).

No matter, that all changed on weekends.

My father and I shared the games that others played to the extent that it became conduit through which we communicated even basic thoughts between us.

When I visited my dad and his family (all girls), the slate was full (probably because his second marriage was miserable).

Depending on the time of year, there could be a multitude events to attend and/or watch on television.

My father had, or shared, season tickets to the Eagles, 76ers and Phillies (a Sunday package, with all the groovy giveaways).

That could make for a busy slate.

In October, for example, we could have a Sixers game on a Friday night, a Temple football game on a Saturday afternoon, a Flyers game Saturday night, an Eagles game on Sunday and maybe -- since this was the 1970s -- a Phillies' playoff loss at night.

During other parts of the year, even though some of the above would fade into the the temporary abyss of heartbreak, the likes of Big 5 basketball would enter the picture.

And we weren't casual fans.

My father, who often had a radio contraption to catch another game's drama while at a live event, always bought a program and kept score (until I bought him his own baseball scorebook for baseball results).

He never taught me how to hunt deer, catch fish or do handiwork. However, I know what an earned-run is and which pitcher it gets charged to, and I knew it by the time I was 7-8 years old (adding frustration in later years, when even high school coaches could not do so when calling in box scores to the paper).

We each had our own pecking order -- the Flyers (the famed Broad Street Bullies) were atop my list and the Phillies atop his -- but all the teams' fortunes were important to each of us.

Basketball seemed to be the meeting point; a compromise of sorts.

He was one of the last players cut from his high school team, which went to win the city title, so I guess he saw his only son as a vehicle for vicarious hoop dreams.

And, with somewhat justifiable cause, as I showed decent early aptitude. While we would play catch sometimes with either a baseball or a football, shooting hoops together was most common when we weren't busy being fans.

And we weren't casual fans.

My father always bought a program and kept score. He never taught me how to hunt deer, fish or do handiwork. However, I know what an earned-run is and which pitcher it gets charged to, and I knew it by the time I was 7-8 years old (adding frustration when even high school coaches could not when calling in box scores). I knew that a player fouled out of game with 6 fouls in the NBA but 5 in college.

We were so into hoops that venturing into North Philly, after picking up hoagies, to watch the Baker and Sonny Hill leagues at Temple's McGonigle Hll was a summertime rite of passage.

My first trip to overnight camp came when I was 8 -- for a week in the Poconos at a place called Mr. Basketball Camp. He was thrilled to learn I came in second in the voting for a trophy (hustle) and that the range on my jumper had increased to the top of the arc.

His dreams of me being the next coming of Dolph Schayes (the kosher Larry Bird) were dashed when I pretty much stopped growing by 9th grade and was cut from the team, but we were still fans and took equal pleasure in the Sixers finally winning it all in 1983.

Man, have times changed.

My father passed away in 2008. By then, we rarely talked about basketball -- even after my career as a sports writer saw many hoops-related highlights (PW's state title run, covering the Sixers when Larry Brown and Allen Iverson were stuggling to co-exist and then Temple basketball when they were in the Top 10 most of the season).

It was Eagles, Eagles and more Eagles (I'm sorry he never got to see Temple's football program rise from the dead).

This year, between pro and college hoops, I don't think I watched a full game.

As for the finals between Dallas and Miami, my interest level -- or lack thereof -- is telling. When the pivotal game 5 was tied with a minute to go, I lost patience with the timeouts and commercials and changed the channel. I didn't even dial back, or check online, to see who won (as an afterthought, I asked the sports guys in the office a day or two later when I overheard them talking about what a fraud they thought LeBron James was).

Game 6 on Sunday? I had the time to watch (a rarity these days), but I couldn't even make it through the pre-game introductions -- during which there were three commercial breaks.

I'm writing this as they play. If Dallas wins, they win it all. If Miami wins, there will be a Game 7 that will pawned off as historic.

I don't even know when that is supposed to be played, assuming they need to play it.

I don't even care.

Not anymore.

Those days are gone.

But with Father's Day approaching, I'm thankful to my late father for -- at the very least -- helping to get it out of my system at an early age.

Shock The Monkey

2011-04-24T22:07:00.000-07:00

So it seems my friendly nemesis Lisa Mossie is running for political office -- Upper Providence Township Board of Supervisors.
You have to admire her chutzpah.
I do.
That is why I am endorsing her in this pursuit (just me, not the paper, because it's TH policy not to endorse candidates).
This is not a joke with a pending punchline.
I repeat, this is not a joke.
Sorry, fellow Dems,
The first priority is local elections are people with two brain cells willing to think outside the box who are not just in it for the power trip.
I think, if elected, she will take the job seriously.
I mean, she is on "talk radio" for 12 listeners a few days a week and she think she's her idol, Ann Coulter.
She gives every pursuit her all.
I anything, she will make it interesting.
And if she doesn't do the job, you Upper Providence voters always have the option of voting her out the next time around.
This is still America.
I think.

Saved By Zero

2011-04-14T22:22:00.001-07:00

Deep down, I always wanted to play in the NHL.
While it was a pipe dream unfulfilled, I can currently say I have as many playoff goals as several of the Flyers' big guns -- Danny Briere, Claude Giroux, Jeff Carter, Mike Richards, etc.

Cat Scratch Fever

2011-04-05T07:39:00.000-07:00

Not for nothing, but ... during the 10-minute ride from Sofia's pre-school to the office, I tuned in to WFYL (after initially confusing it with the other local-yocal station a little further up the AM dial) to see if I could catch either Lisa Mossie dishing out what she can't take or Jack P-Something, a whiny Gen Y know-it-all, taking cheap shots when they think I'm not listening (whisper: turns out that 3 out of the station's 7 1/2 morning listeners Monday were left-wing spies who reported directly back to the GIA --Gordonville Intelligence Agency -- and exposed host Barry Papiernik as a go-with-the-flow double-agent).
But I missed the Tuesday fun, instead catching the beginning of the Laura Ingraham Show.
Unlike Ms. Mossie, who disses and dismisses Maher and Moore without listening and watching, I stay tuned.
Ingraham was almost entertaining, I'll give her that. And she was mean-spirited, just as much -- if not more -- than some of my guys on the left.
While it's scary in the sense that she is knowingly preaching to a choir with a laughable limited vocal range, therefore adding fuel to their fire, I defend her right to ramble.
But I never -- ever -- want to hear people like Lisa running to the principal's office about the boys on the school bus, let alone little old me in my column.
The truth is that tea bagger meant one thing and now, because of the Tea Party gangsters, it means another in the broader perspective.
Get over it.

Escalator Of Life

2011-04-03T21:11:00.000-07:00

Hank Cisco always warns against the no-win scenario of getting into a ring, figurative or otherwise, and slugging it out with a bum.

This is why -- 19 times out of 20 -- I resist the temptation of responding to anti-Gordonites deriding me for something I wrote.

But my near and dear friend, local conservative pundit Lisa Mossie, is no bum.

To label her as such would be like Ed Sullivan speaking ill of The Beatles after giving them their big break (I did the same for Lisa -- although her talent, like that of the Fab Four, was self-evident -- way back when).

So when, out of the blue, she wrote a letter to the editor recently, wanting to know why I seemingly persist in called the Tea Bag movement "tea baggers" (the number of times I've done it is more perception than reality and has more to do with the tone of the column -- satirical or serious, angry or analytical -- on any given Sunday), I immediately squirreled away her missive to run above my column in this past Sunday's print edition.

It's a fair question, though, so I'm going to try to answer in a way that might make a woman who is complimented when compared to Ann Coulter comprehend my strategic uses of the term.

The problem, in general, with the right wing is they seriously lack a developed sense of humor.

Taking Larry The Cable Guy out of the equation, the only comedian they can really counter with is ... yawn ... Dennis ... Zzzzzz .... Miller. If that guy were half as funny -- or witty -- as he thinks he is, well, he would almost be dangerous.

All their other pundits -- from Rush Limbaugh to the lineup of Fox News, or WFYL, talking heads -- swing and miss and being funny more than a pimple-faced geek trying to ask out each member of the cheerleading squad.

This explains the typical Tea Partier in the proverbial nutshell. They cop a term from history without any real context to support it, other than that it sounds good. They have these protests with hateful antics, which somehow they think are going to come across as playful, and don't get it why no one outside their little hunter-gatherer club is laughing.

It's because the joke is on them. From Day One, they set themselves up to be the punchline on his one.

During the time of trying to assert themselves on the Fox News dime, some Tea Party types were the first ones to call themselves "tea baggers" (I can hear you now, Lisa, ranting that I'm getting this information from the left-wing/mainstream media when I should be tuning into WFYL 1180 a.m. for the stone-cold facts-- but I have confirmed this with confidence).

Clever -- and more worldly liberals that we are -- we found humor within the failed humor of the terms laughable misuse, and pointed out that "tea-bagging" is a sexual act performed by those dastardly homosexuals.

And you wanna cry foul?

Nope. Doesn't work that way.

You wanna dish it out -- and carry signs with Hitler's mustache on President Obama's face -- but you now can't take it.

Really?

You say you are offended?

Get over it.

Welcome to the Escalator Of Life, Lisa and Co.

We're all being a little childish here.

When has politics not been that way?

It's a cesspool with a grade-school mentality.

And right now, on this one, it's recess.

When the bell rings, I promise I'll stop being a bully and let you up (even though you really haven't had enough). I can't speak for the likes of Bill Maher, from whom I admittedly take some cues with my perceived chip shots, but Gordon Glantz will ease up (as if what Gordon Glantz writes really amounts to a hill of ants).

And we get back into the classroom, we can open up our history textbooks -- or just our dictionaries -- and ferret out the meaning of being a "patriot" and compare it to how it is being demented.

Anyone in the Tea Party movement is being more offensive by thinking "patriot" -- in any stretch of the term -- applies to them (simply because they want to see Obama's birth certificate, don't think gays should be married or demand that you read their juvenile Contract With America) -- than anyone having a little fun by throwing a misused term back in their face.

But since I don't want anyone calling me a bum, I will try to rise above it -- even though I know those equally offensive attempts to link patriotism and "real Americans in real America" to the Tea Baggers (sorry, one last time for good luck) will not cease from your side.

There are more important issues -- ones being washed away in a tide of misinformation right now -- to get bogged down with silliness spewed from the likes of Rand Paul.

But don't get me started with that guy.

He's just a bum in a suit.

And we don't mess with bums.

Walk Like An Egyptian

2011-03-09T10:32:00.000-08:00

With a heavy heart, I bring you this dose of reality -- Middle Eastern style.

Hate to say I told you, but I told you so.

Christian-Muslim clashes in Egypt kill 13

By HAMZA HENDAWI
Associated Press Hamza Hendawi

CAIRO – Clashes that broke out when a Muslim mob attacked thousands of Christians protesting the burning of a Cairo church killed at least 13 people and wounded about 140, officials said Wednesday.

The Muslims torched the church amid an escalation of tensions over a love affair between a Muslim and a Christian that set off a violent feud between the couple's families.

The officials said all 13 fatalities died of gunshot wounds.

The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak to the media.

The clashes late Tuesday night added to a sense of ongoing chaos in Egypt after the momentous 18-day democracy uprising that toppled longtime leader Hosni Mubarak on Feb. 11. The uprising left a security vacuum after police pulled out of Cairo and several other cities three days into the uprising.

The police have yet to fully take back the streets, leaving space for a wave of violent crime and lawlessness in some parts of the nation.

In a separate incident, at least two people were wounded when rival crowds threw rocks at Cairo's central Tahrir Square, the uprising's epicenter, according to an Associated Press Television News cameraman at the scene. He said the violence pitted youths camping out at the square to press their demand for a complete break with the ousted regime and another group opposed to their continued presence. Later, army soldiers forcefully removed the protesters and their tents, scuffling with some and making several arrests.

The Christian protesters on Tuesday blocked a vital highway, burning tires and pelting cars with rocks. An angry crowd of Muslims set upon the Christians and the two sides fought pitched battles for about four hours.

Mubarak handed power to the military when he stepped down, but the military does not have enough troops to patrol every street in Cairo, a sprawling city of some 18 million people that is chaotic at the best of times.

Even before the uprising unleashed a torrent of discontent, tensions had been growing between Christians and Muslims in this country of 80 million. Christians account for about 10 percent of the population.

On New Year's Day, a suicide bombing outside a Coptic church in the port city of Alexandria killed 21 people, setting off days of protests. Barely a week later, an off-duty policeman boarded a train and shot dead a 71-year-old Christian man and wounding his wife and four others.

Egypt's ruling generals have pledged last week to rebuild the torched church and the country's new prime minister, Essam Sharaf, has met the protesters outside the TV building in downtown Cairo to reassure them that his interim government would not discriminate against them.

But the Christians were not appeased. At least 2,000 of them protested on the highway on Tuesday night and a separate crowd of several hundred has been camping out outside the TV building for days to voice their anger at what they perceive to be official discrimination against them.

If You Don't Know Me By Now

2011-03-07T06:24:00.000-08:00

No, not really.

OK?

I was advocating going to war in Libya in my Sunday column.

For those of you who thought you were able to skip over the Dolt Warning at the beginning -- stating that it was a work of political satire -- and were still confused, I'm going to make such warnings mandatory in the future.

My point -- although I admit that I was almost convincing myself of military action while writing the column -- was that it really is no different than Iraq.

We would be fighting for freedom.

The freedom from a dictator for them.

And the freedom from the dependence on foreign oil for us, since the country is rich in oil.

It would be a chance to keep it above board. No reason to lie about weapons of mass destruction (although if the whiny U.N. was unhappy about invading, we could plant some near Gadhafi's compound).

With the brutal fighting going on at present, we would look like heroes.

We would almost be seen such.

Almost.

But was I advocating really doing it?

No, not really.

My Girl

2011-02-28T04:30:00.000-08:00

Been a Natalie Portman fan since she stole the show as a 13-year-old in "Beautiful Girls" (circa 1993).
Her father, a fertility doctor in NYC, almost killed my sister and I still didn't hold it against her.
Way to go, girl!

Beautiful Noise

2011-02-14T11:41:00.000-08:00

A haiku for those of us with wrenched backs from shoveling snow:

Is there no sweeter sounds than that of the ice and snow finally melting?
And on the same day that Spring Training starts?
Be gone, winter. Bring it on, global warming.
I'm sick of this sugar!

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

2011-02-11T10:12:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry.
Let me get that out of the way right now.
I apologize if I'm not going to dance a jig for common man in Egypt.
I got off that camel when I saw pictures of protesters demeaning Hansi Mubarak the best way they knew how -- by drawing stars of David over his likeness.
Not swastikas, but stars of David.
If anyone thinks this is going to equal to a more peaceful Middle East, I have a Taco Hell taco with real meat to sell you.
As Bill Maher stated last week, this whole rebellion is like trying an onsides kick. It seems like a good idea at the time, but the odds are that the other team is going to recover.
The other team is the Muslim Brotherhood -- the Egyptian equivalent to U.S. nativism.
Celebrate good times, come on?
Yeah, right.
Not gonna happen.
Sorry.

That's Life

2011-02-05T13:44:00.000-08:00

The things come out of Sofia's soon-to-be-4 mouth, I'll ya.
They are rockin' my world and keeping me sane.
Today, while we found ourselves in the odd situation of being shopping at a K-Mart on the Main Line, she insisted that we purchase pencils from the movie "Tangled" to give out to her class.
My wife reminded her that there are boys in the class who may not like "Tangled" pencils.
The response?
"That's life."

Superstar

2011-01-31T08:53:00.000-08:00

A few years back, as The Times Herald softball squad took warm-ups in preparation for the first of what would become a semi-annual softball game against the entire municipality of Norristown, I started hearing the taunts from the opposing dugout at Latshaw-McCarthy Field.

Cops, firefighters, municipal workers and assorted other all-stars began calling me "Fosse."

And I knew what they meant.

And hoped they weren't serious.

I was The Team Times Herald catcher -- better to take that pounding than to have to actually run around (to the tune of "Everybody Plays the Fool" by the Main Ingredient) in the outfield -- the reference was to Ray Fosse, the catcher Pete Rose plowed over, and injured, in the 1970 all-star game.

Maye Rose got a little carried away (or maybe he made a bet with someone that he would plow over the catcher if he got the chance), but it showed that those selected to participate in all-star games did so with a little more passion than today.

The Pro Bowl this past Sunday, which ended on a multi-lateral touchdown with indifferent attempts at tackling, was nothing less than a farce.

The NHL game, also "played" Sunday, wasn't different than the figure skating competition I was forced against my will ("Daddy, please" always gets me) Saturday night. It ended with a laughable final score of 11-10.

The NBA game is next, and expect more of the same.

By default, the baseball game is still somewhat pure. There will be no more running over the catcher, brush-back pitches and take-out slides at second base. But pitchers are still trying to batters out and fielders have no reason to let the ball drop (although crashing into the wall may also be off the table).

So the question is this: Are the devalued all-star games a symptom of a larger societal ill, or are the athletes just more savvy?

Back To You

2011-01-31T08:44:00.000-08:00

Hey, yo!
Shalom.
What it is.
Bonjour.
Miss me much?
Had a few issues logging on here, leaving Stan and Lisa to pontificate in bliss, but that ends today.
I return to 'My Back Pages' with a sense of renewal -- almost as if I've been in the place of my honeymoon, Maui, this winter.
Not only will you see blogs at a rate average once a week, but maybe one per day. That's the goal.
If you can't handle the speed with which this carnival ride will travel, let the "carnie" know now.

Jesus Is Just Alright

2010-12-21T10:47:00.000-08:00

Are you really keeping "Christ" in "Christmas" if you are mispronouncing "Christ" each time you say "Christmas" while thinking you are so clever?
Kidding! (well, sorta)
OK, in light of all the bickering with some in the readership, I'll get more serious. Maybe we can even find a path to mutual understanding (but don't go there with this "dreaming of a white Christmas" stuff, as the forecase is already wreaking havoc with my plans for the day).
Based on historical accounts, Jesus was a cool guy. And I can say, with certainty, that he would have been a Democrat (maybe an Independent who voted Democrat).
I don't believe all the supernatural stuff, just like I don't believe that Moses parted the Red Sea.
I think stories get told, over the generations, to the masses in a certain way that they stick. Just like Hollywood does its "based on a true story" thing, the writers -- and re-writers -- of the Bible have done the same. Because many people up until recently in human history were illiterate, much had to be acted out -- or drawn up by artists -- to get these stories across. While it adds to the beauty, not to mention the drama, reality may have suffered.
I'm not saying for sure. I'm an agnostic, remember? Just putting it out there in the universe as food for thought.
A friend of mine -- who is as "Christian" as they come (and I mean that, in this instance, in a good way) -- caught wind of all of my self-imposed heat and sent me this "letter" to pay forward to you.
I was going to run it as a letter to the editor, but we like our building not up in flames.
Nonetheless, even if you disagree (I'm not down with all of it, but it still brought tears to my eyes), give it a read first.

LETTER FROM JESUS ABOUT CHRISTMAS

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. You want to know

how I personally feel about this celebration! I really don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santa’s and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene or protest, because there would be many of them all around town. Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree , instead of a Christmas tree . It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine, if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8. If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my list. Choose something from it and be the light on the hill.

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up... It will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive them.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there.. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a " Merry Christmas " that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary-- especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.

9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts to give them.

10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like my word says. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.

Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember :

I LOVE YOU,

JESUS

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

2010-12-19T06:09:00.000-08:00

Well, the Golden Era of Temple football has gotten tarnished in a hurry.
Al Golden, perhaps biting off more than he can chew, is headed to the homeland of my people to be the head coach of the Miami Hurricanes (I would have said Miami U., but that would be implying that it's actually a university) to be the head coach (hope they are as patient with his game-day Tom Foolery as we were).
On the heels of getting snubbed for a second consecutive bowl bid, it was the knockout blow following the jab.
All I ever wanted was to have an alma mater who won more football games than it lost each season, with a chance for a league title and minor bowl game as a reward for being a big fish in a small pond.
Well, the fish of reality swam up and bit me -- and all those who feel the same way -- on the arse.
Golden is gone, and the winning records here are soon to follow. The Owls will be OK next year. There is a sound returning nucleus, so my wife could probably coach them to seven or eight wins, but a slow and steady decline to familiar surrounding is soon to follow.
It's not like a surprise I guess. Having Golden here was like dating a hot chick who is out of your weight class. Sooner or later, she is going to give the old: "I need to grow as a person. It's not you, it's me. I hope we can still be friends."
I get it, but ... did it have to be now -- right before the prom?

Light My Fire

2010-12-09T13:33:00.000-08:00

A little bit overdue, but we'll take it! Read on, read on, read until your dreams come true ...

Doors' Morrison pardoned in indecent exposure case

By BRENDAN FARRINGTON and SUZETTE LABOY, Associated Press Brendan Farrington And Suzette Laboy, Associated Press 11 mins ago

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. – Jim Morrison was posthumously pardoned Thursday for a 1970 indecent exposure conviction in Florida, a move a woman who said she was married to The Doors lead singer called a cheap political ploy.

Morrison, a Florida native, was appealing the conviction when he was found dead in a Paris bathtub in 1971 at age 27. The pardon came a day after the singer would have turned 67.

Outgoing Gov. Charlie Crist asked for the pardon, which the Clemency Board granted unanimously. Crist said he doubts Morrison actually exposed his penis during a rowdy March 1, 1969 concert at Miami's Dinner Key Auditorium. He and a three-member Cabinet serve as the Clemency Board. The surviving members of The Doors supported the pardon.

Crist at the hearing called the conviction a "blot" on the record of an accomplished artist for "something he may or may not have done." He said Morrison died before he was afforded the chance to present his appeal, so Crist was doing that for him. Board members pointed out several times that they couldn't retry the case but that the pardon forgave Morrison, as others were absolved of their convictions on Thursday.

"In this case the guilt or innocence is in God's hands, not ours," Crist said.

Patricia Kennealy Morrison told The Associated Press before the board's action that she's not pleased with the pardon and doesn't think the late singer would be either because he didn't expose himself on stage. The conviction should be expunged or the verdict overturned rather than just pardoned, she said.

"The pardon says that all his suffering and all that he went through during the trial, everything both of us went through, was negated," she said.

Earlier, when asked about expunging Morrison's record or overturning the conviction, Crist said, "The option before us is the pardon or not."

Still, it's not enough, Kennealy Morrison said.

"He felt and he expressed to me on numerous occasions that he had been made a scapegoat of the counterculture movement," Kennealy Morrison said. "He was out there doing what he did, making himself a really easy target because he felt very strongly about it. Unfortunately they decided to go after him for it. It was a complete cheap, cynical, political ploy. That's the way I feel about the pardon."

Kennealy Morrison exchanged vows with Morrison in a Celtic pagan ceremony overseen by a licensed minister, she said. The marriage was valid, though she says she never filed the paperwork to put it in the books. Morrison left his entire estate to another woman, Pamela Courson, a longtime girlfriend who was with him in Paris when he died. Courson died in 1974.

Surviving band members say a drunken Morrison teased the crowd, but never exposed himself.

"It never actually happened. It was mass hypnosis," Ray Manzarek, The Doors' keyboard player, said in an interview before the vote.

Dazed and Confused

2010-12-06T13:12:00.000-08:00

Honestly, the way the Temple football team crawled across the finish line this season, I wasn't expecting a bid to one of the myriad of minor bowl games that pop up like corner Christmas Tree vendors this time of year.
Yes, the Owls passed the bottom-line 6-win plateau for bowl eligibility after 8 games and were siting pretty at 8-2 after 10 games.
But with several starters on the shelf -- including running back Bernard Pierce, a flat-out stud on the rare days when he is healthy -- the Owls lost two key league games, to Ohio and Miami (Ohio), to close out the regular season.
I wondered if 8-4 is good enough. And being that Temple has only been competitive the last few years, I'm a newbie to the whole process.
I turned to the Internet, which is loaded with about a trillion sites of bowl projections. The first one I checked had Temple out in the cold.
Since I wasn't expecting warmth, I was fine with it.
The others, though, had the Owls going somewhere -- Sun Bowl, New Mexico Bowl, Humanitarian Bowl -- against opponents ranging from Utah to Miami (Fla.).
The projections were so consistent that I stopped worrying about the notion that Temple, at 8-4, would not be considered as one of the top 70 teams (there are 35 bowl games, hence the math) in the nation.
I started to warm myself by the fire of the opinions of what are probably bloggers taking breaks from popping their zits.
Although I had my doubts, given the injuries and lack of depth to fill the voids, that they would avoid embarrassment, I still believed that that going to a bowl game in successive years for the first time in school history was a good thing overall.
Plus, as I broke it down, I could see where those lurking in the online shadows making the projections were coming from.
Temple had beaten UConn, which is going to a BSC bowl. They beat another bowl team in Army. With a healthy Pierce, and a quarterback with a pulse, they may have even beaten Penn State in Happy Valley. And, as it turns out, there were no "bad losses." No one who beat the Owls in 2010 had a losing record and, as it turns out, all were perceived as good enough to receive bowl bids.
Additonally, Temple beat a Villanova team that is still in the postseason in the NCAA sub-division.
Not a bad resume.
Maybe I was being to hard on the team for kind of coming up small at season's end. Maybe they deserved a bowl appearance after all.
I was reinvigorated.
Temple even planned a selection party Sunday, so I figured the school's powers that be already knew -- albeit unofficially -- that a bid was coming.
I went to Atlantic City for the weekend without giving it a second thought.
When I finally got home Sunday, the bowl list was not even the first I sought out when I booted up the computer.
When I did check it out, it was going to be more a matter of where and when than if they were going to a bowl game.
But, for the first time ever, an 8-win team was left out in the cold in favor of a plethora of 7- and even 6-win teams.
That team getting the cold shoulder?
Not Notre Dame. Not Miami (Fla.).
Temple.
Turns out the only bowl that even considered the Owls was one the prognosticators didn't even mention, the New Orleans Bowl, and that bid went to the Ohio that Temple lost to during the swoon and the end of the season.
That makes sense, but the process is enough to make one's head spin.

Heat of the Moment

2010-12-03T14:45:00.000-08:00

All you doubters of Global Warming, I'm calling you out.
Did you read the story on Page B6 of the 12/3/10 edition of The Times Herald about 2010 on track to rank in the hottest three years ever recorded?
You would think that would be enough. You would think that the other years were in, like, 1953 and 1874.
You would think wrong.
They were in 1998 and 2005.
I'll do the math. The three hottest years -- at least since hotness could be tracked -- are all in the last dozen years.
Break out that sunblock. Get out the inhalers.
Set up Sea World in the Antarctic to watch the polar bears try to swim.
Anybody care -- or dare -- to call this a myth concocted by the mainstream media?
With a straight face?
Really?

99

2010-11-19T08:44:00.000-08:00

Yes, that No. 99 jersey squeezed over my expanding torso on "Football Friday" -- featuring new Sports Editor Jack Kerwin drinking from an empty coffee cup -- was a vintage Archbishop Kennedy throwback from the Defunct School collection not available from Mitchell & Ness.
I became a sports writer in 1988, around the time I first started dating my wife, and was intrigued by her alma mater's football program, headed by the legendary Chris Bockrath, even if she could have cared less.
Until the school's closure in 1993, at which point it "merged," with Bishop Kenrick to become Kennedy-Kenrick, which now "merged" with St. Pius X to become Pope John Paul II, I was a regular on the sidelines.
Covering games at A.A. Garthwaite field in Conshohocken gave me that slice of Americana feel, like I was figure in a Norman Rockwell painting.
My best memories were Thanksgiving Day, when I would cover a game there and then walk 3-4 block back to the childhood home of my future wife for some bird and stuffing and fights with her family over what to dial up on the remote control.
After the school closed, I received a package. The note read: "Wear it with sadness, wear it with pride. Thanks for the coverage. A Kennedy fan."
Inside the package was the jersey you saw on "Football Friday."
It barely fits me these days, but I still wear it with some sadness but a whole lot of pride.

Urgent

2010-10-31T06:45:00.000-07:00

JUST THOUGHT I'D PASS THIS ALONG FROM SOMEONE WHO CARES JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT YOU THAN THE KOCH BROS. DO ...

There she was, thrown to the pavement by a Republican in a checkered shirt. Another Republican thrusts his foot in between her legs and presses down with all his weight to pin her to the curb. Then a Republican leader comes over and viciously stomps on her head with his foot. You hear her glasses crunch under the pressure. Holding her head down with his foot, he applies more force so she can't move. Her skull and brain are now suffering a concussion.

The young woman’s name is Lauren Valle, but she is really all of us. For come this Tuesday, the right wing -- and the wealthy who back them -- plan to take their collective boot and bring it down hard on not just the head of Barack Obama but on the heads of everyone they simply don't like.

Teachers union? The boot!

Muslim-looking people? The boot!

Thinking of retiring soon? The boot!

Living in a house you can no longer afford? The boot!

Doing a bit better with your minimum wage? The boot!

Stem cell research, the bullet train, reversing global warming? Ha! The boot for all of you!

What? You like your kids being covered by your health plan ‘til they're 26? The boot for them and the boot for you!

In love with someone of your own gender? A double boot up the ass for every single one of you sick SOBs!

Hoping there's a few jobs left here in the U.S. when you graduate? How 'bout just a nice boot to your head instead?

And most importantly, the last boot is saved for the black man who probably wasn't born here, definitely isn't a Christian and possibly might be the Antichrist sent here to oversee the destruction of our very way of life. A boot to your head, Obama-devil!

Yes, one big boot is poised to stomp out whatever hopey-changey thing we might have had two years ago and secure this country in the hands of the oligarchs and the culture police.

And if they win on Tuesday, they plan to show no mercy. They will not speak of bipartisanship or olive branches or tolerate any filibuster threats. They will come in and do the job with a mandate they'll perceive the electorate will have given them. They will not fart around for two years like the Democrats did. They will not "search for compromise" or "find middle ground." They will not meet you halfway on the playing field. They know that touchdowns aren't scored at the 50-yard line. Unlike our guys, they're not stupid or spineless.

Make no mistake about it, my friends. A perfect storm has gathered of racists, homophobes, corporatists and born agains and they are on fire. Two years of a black man who secretly holds socialist beliefs being the boss of them is more than they can stomach. They've been sick to death since the night of 11/04/08 and they are ready to purge. They won't need a rope and tree this time to effect the change they seek (why bother when a nice shoe on another's skull will do just fine, thank you).

They simply need to get their base to the polls (done), convince enough people Obama is responsible for the fact they don't have a job or a secure home (done), and then hope enough of us Obama-voters are so frustrated, disappointed and downright mad at the Dems (done) that we'll either stay home Tuesday or, if we vote, we won't be carpooling with 10 others to the polls.

Done? Or not?

These Republicans mean business. Their boots are all shined and ready. But they've got one huge problem:

The majority of Americans don't agree with them.

The majority want the troops home. The majority want true universal health coverage. The majority want the thievery on Wall Street to be stopped. The majority believe that global warming is happening, that social security shouldn't be privatized and that unions are a good thing.

Too bad the majority party has done precious little to bring about the change for which the majority voted. Yes, change takes time. But try telling that to someone who hasn't worked in two years. Or who hears the knock of the foreclosure sheriff at the door. The booted-up minority knows how to make hay in a situation like this. All they need is us, the disappointed, dismayed, disgusted us.

What say you? Stay home and punish the weak-kneed, sell-out Democrats? Or spend every free moment you have between now and Tuesday trying to protect what little progress has been made so we can live to fight another day (even if it is with “allies” like a Democratic Party that will more than likely still not get the message of what they need to do -- and has, in fact, spent much of the past two years giving progressives the boot)? Perhaps our job, post-election, is to provide a gentle but swift boot in the bee-hind of the party whose mascot is an ass.

Right now, we've got 112 hours. Seems like enough.

Yours,
Michael Moore

Ring Of Fire

2010-10-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

And again, and again, and again ...

But go ahead, cling to your guns like they were symbols of your pagan religion.
Oh, if only Obama really did take your guns away.
Read on about the senseless shooting du jour:

2 workers killed in Tenn. post office shooting

By ADRIAN SAINZ, Associated Press Writer Adrian Sainz, Associated Press Writer 5 mins ago

HENNING, Tenn. – Two women working at a rural West Tennessee post office were shot and killed Monday during a possible robbery attempt, authorities said.

The shooting happened Monday morning at the post office in Henning, the hometown of "Roots" author Alex Haley, the Lauderdale County Sheriff's Department told The Associated Press. Officers were searching for a maroon Chevrolet Malibu with two men inside, and no arrests have been made.

The post office, which sits between a self-service car wash and a coin-operated laundry called "Mom's" in this town of about 1,200 people, often has residents coming in to pick up their mail. Home delivery isn't provided in Henning, some 45 miles northeast of Memphis.

Around midday, plainclothes investigators were scanning the area along a railroad track that sits behind the post office. Lines of yellow police tape kept people away from the building as a crowd gathered nearby, some sitting in chairs, waiting for more information about what happened.

Crime scene investigation trucks were parked outside, including one from the Tennessee Department of Investigation.

Ella Holloway, who lives within walking distance of the post office, said she knew one of the women killed. Holloway said she would be greeted by the woman's smile when she went to the post office to buy stamps.

"She was a real nice person," Holloway said.

Brilliant Disguise

2010-10-18T11:12:00.000-07:00

This week, on "Football Friday" (www.timesherald.com), I wore my No. 91 Andy Harmon jersey. Harmon was a hard-working, underrated defensive lineman who made the most out of being sixth-round pick from Kent State (you know, the school where students were gunned down for daring to protest an unjust war).
Admittedly, I bought this shirt at a low point in my maturation an adult (even though Harmon was a solid player; an AP All-Pro in 1995 and the team's all-time leader in sacks for a defensive tackle). There was a mental recession in Gordonville. Seeing no black people wear the jerseys of white players, I was determined to get the jersey of the best white player on the team. Sad, but true. Blame it on the O.J. trila and the L.A. riots.
I got over it -- grew up and moved on, just like I hope many of you tea baggers do once this current craze reveals you as dupes under another's thumb.
But back to football.
Despite this shameful stigma, my Andy Harmon jersey remains a semi-regular in my regular rotation. Unlike others I refuse to wear, Harmon -- via a knee injury in 1997 -- ended his career with the Eagles.
Once someone leaves -- like overrated sacred cow, Reggie White -- their jersey should become Kryptonite for any true Superfan.

Go Your Own Way

2010-10-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

As is the case with most Democrats, I wish Bryan Lentz all the best in his Congressional battle with Pat Meehan.
But if I get one more Facebook message from Lentz inviting me to one of his campaign events, Hank Cisco is going to have to coax me off the train tracks next.

Double Vision

2010-10-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

That was an Eagles' No. 14 jersey, circa 1995-96, being forced over a body that was grown from XL to XXL during the intervening years during this week's taping of "Football Friday" on THTV Online.
The player? Ty Detmer. He was so effective for the Eagles, at least for a season that resulted in a playoff appearance, that I named my eldest cat, Tyler, after him.
Detmer, though a Heisman Trophy winner while avoiding being converted in becoming a Mormon at Brigham Young University (Michael Jackson's favorite team ... get it?), got the job within the West Coast offense with instincts.
He had no great natural gifts. He was not only smaller than most NFL quarterbacks, but he was not very mobile and lacked arm strength.
Instead, he made the right reads and was accurate.
That's kind of what we hoped for from Kevin Kolb this year, and maybe he should pop in a tape of Detmer from the time period and draw inspiration fromt it.
Andy Reid, in his stubborn glory, would surely disavow any knowledge of one of his players being edified from one did under another coach. But since Detmer played at Brigham Young (get the Michael Jackson jibe, yet?), maybe fathead will allow such a practice.
Without Michael Vick likely out until after the Eagles' bye week (Halloween, Oct. 31), we could use Kolb dressing up in a Detmer costume.

I'm In You

2010-10-06T10:48:00.000-07:00

Anybody have the misfortune of catching one of Christine O'Donnell's recent campaign ads?

She starts with the line that will go down in political infamy: "I'm not a witch."

Her point, I think, is that she is just an ordinary person -- despite probably arriving at the commercial taping on a broomstick paid for by campaign funds.

The new slogan, designed to rebuild reputation that never should have been distorted as a viable candidate in the first place: "I'm you."

She has a point there -- sorta.

If she's preaching to her base of Tea Party yo-yos, she is right on the money.

Let's just hope the independent voters of Delaware, the ones who will decide that election, see through the thin facade.

Absolute Reality

2010-09-29T15:53:00.000-07:00

Ding! Word! Touché!

Read on ... (and yes, it's all Bush's fault):

Gates says too few in US bear the burdens of war

By ANNE FLAHERTY

The Associated Press

DURHAM, N.C. – Defense Secretary Robert Gates said Wednesday that most Americans have grown too detached from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and see military service as "something for other people to do."

In a speech Wednesday at Duke University, Gates said this disconnect has imposed a heavy burden on a small segment of society and wildly driven up the costs of maintaining an all-volunteer force.

Because fewer Americans see military service as their duty, troops today face repeated combat tours and long separations from family. The 2.4 million people serving in the armed forces today represent less than 1 percent of the country's total population.

To attract and retain recruits, the Defense Department finds itself spending more money, including handsome bonuses and education benefits. The money spent on personnel and benefits has nearly doubled since the 2001 invasion of Afghanistan, from $90 billion to $170 billion.

"That is our sacred obligation," Gates told the audience of compensating troops. "But given the enormous fiscal pressures facing the country," the nation must devise "an equitable and sustainable system of military pay and benefits that reflects the realities of this century."

Gates, who plans to retire next year, has been using academic-style speeches to outline what he believes to be the nation's toughest challenges that lie ahead when it comes to defense.

Earlier this year, Gates asked whether troops were training for the right kinds of missions and called into question the utility of D-Day style amphibious landings handled historically by the Marine Corps. He has also embarked on a cost-cutting initiative to prepare for what he says are leaner days ahead for the department.

As is the case in most of these speeches, Gates on Wednesday tried to raise awareness about a long-term problem rather than solve it. He offered no plan for what he described as a growing divide between Americans in uniform and those who aren't.

"Whatever their fond sentiments for men and women in uniform, for most Americans the war remains an abstraction — a distant and unpleasant series of news items that do not affect them personally," Gates said.

Even after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, for most Americans "service in the military — no matter how laudable — has become something for other people to do," he added.

Gates gave his speech in front of some 1,200 faculty and students at Duke, considered one of the nation's top universities.

Like most elite colleges, only a small fraction of Duke students consider military service. With 34 of its 6,400 undergraduates enrolled in its Reserve Officers' Training Corps, an officer commissioning program known as ROTC, Duke is actually considered among the more military-friendly elite colleges.

Yale, for example, has only four of its 5,200 students enrolled in ROTC, whereas Harvard doesn't allow ROTC or military recruiters on campus.

Without calling out any one particular university, Gates said he was disappointed in institutions that "used to send hundreds of graduates into the armed forces, but now struggle to commission a handful of officers every year."

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are considered the first large-scale, protracted conflicts since the Revolutionary War fought entirely with volunteers. Most military officials agree that this isn't a bad thing. Today's U.S. military forces are considered more professional and better educated than their predecessors.

More enlisted troops hold a high school diploma, or its equivalent, than their civilian peers. Two-thirds of new recruits come from neighborhoods that are at or above the median household income.

But the military isn't representative of the country as a whole. Recruits are most likely to serve only if they grow up around others who do so. The military also draws heavily from rural areas, particularly in the South and the mountain West.

The trend is reinforced by the location of military bases, which tend to be in rural areas and the South where land is cheapest, rather than close to the big cities and the Northeast and West.

Today, most soldiers who are not deployed are stationed in Texas, Washington, Georgia, Kentucky and North Carolina. Many military facilities in the Northeast and along the West coast, meanwhile, have been shut down for environmental and budgetary reasons.

Whereas Alabama hosts 10 ROTC programs, the city of Los Angeles — with twice the population — hosts only four.

"There is a risk over time of developing a cadre of military leaders that politically, culturally and geographically have less and less in common with the people they have sworn to defend," Gates said.

The premise underlying an all-volunteer force also has changed. Initiated in 1973, the concept was that such a force would fight in short, conventional conflicts like the 1991 Gulf War, or defend the U.S. and its allies against Soviet aggression.

But after almost a decade of warfare since the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks, troops who have escaped combat unscathed still faced repeated deployments with long separations from their families. In Iraq at one point, some combat tours stretched to 18 months. More than 1 million soldiers and Marines have been deployed there during the course of the conflict.

The consequences of long deployments in combat zones have been real. Suicide figures have increased, while the divorce rate among enlisted soldiers has nearly doubled.

"No matter how patriotic, how devoted they are, at some point they will want to have the semblance of a normal life — getting married, starting a family, going to college or graduate school, seeing their children grow up — all of which they have justly earned," Gates said.

Without offering specifics, Gates said a system must be created that is generous enough to recruit and retain people without causing the Defense Department to sink under the weight of personnel costs.

Witchy Woman

2010-09-29T06:52:00.000-07:00

Christine O'Donnell? Really?
She makes Sarah Palin almost seemed qualified to do anything beyond baking brownies for the next PTA meeting.
Forget her comments on witchcraft and evolution, and her shady use of campaign funds, and you still have a candidate with a big smile and a small mind.
And she could win.
When she is an elected leader -- on the national level, no less -- she will be a product of a society that has been systematically numbed up and dumbed down.
However, within the darkness there is a light.
Jay Leno, who has yet to be consistently funny since freeing viewers from being Conan O'Brien's hostages, has gotten his groove back -- at least when it comes to busting on O'Donnell.
Still ... a U.S. senator?
Christine O'Donnell? Really?

How To Save A Life

2010-09-26T06:50:00.001-07:00

For all of you wrestling with your conscience over the fact that a felon -- let alone a dog-killer -- is now quarterbacking the Eagles, think of it as a humanitarian gesture.
The way the offensive line has been playing, Kevin Kolb would -- to be blunt -- get killed himself. So, in a way, Vick is giving back to society by taking some of the hits -- and escaping the others -- while keeping Kolb from contracting a incurable case of DCS (David Carr Syndrome).
For you non-football people (i.e. females), Google David Carr.

I Go Swimming

2010-09-16T10:33:00.000-07:00

A Dolphins jersey? No, Eagles fans, I have not jumped ship and gone swimming with the smartest creatures in the sea.
There was a stretch -- from 2000 to 2004, to be exact -- when I openly pulled for the Dolphins, as long as the Eagles were not the opponent (it happened only once).
That's because Jay Fiedler (No. 9, the same as the jersey I donned on the most recent edition of "Football Fridays" on THTV) was the starting quarterback.
Much maligned for one reason -- he was not his predecessor, Dan Marino -- Fiedler did OK for himself.
Another he never put up gaudy stats, like Marino did, Fiedler managed the game well and the team actually won more. He led them to three 10-win seasons, two playoff appearances and one playoff victory. For his career, which ended with the New York Jets, he threw 69 touchdown passes.
That's 69 more than he was expected to throw, according to football's laws of gravity.
Fiedler was a NFL anomaly from the jump. He played in the Ivy League, at Darmouth. He was undrafted, originally making the Eagles for two seasons (1994 and 1995) as the third quarterback, before getting cut (in favor of Bobby Hoying, LOL!) and spending one year playing in Europe and another coaching at the college level, before old teammate Randall Cunningham (the namesake of my most beloved dog) urged his employer, the Minnesota Vikings, to give Fiedler a chance to get back into the league.
And he made the squad, leading to another season in Jacksonville -- where did well when pressed into duty -- and then the chance to start in Miami after Marino retired.
Oh, and he was Jewish.
A Jewish football player?
Yes, a Jewish football player.
A Jewish football player who is not a kicker, a punter or an offensive lineman? A skill player? A leader of men? A quarterback?
Yes, a quarterback.
So, when I saw the chance to buy his jersey (albeit a size too large), I pounced.
I wore it to one fantasy football draft -- back when I was deranged enough to involve myself in that sub-culture -- and got ripped for it, unmercifully, on the league's message board.
But I was loyal to Jay.
Chances to give the jersey away to charity came and went, and in the closet it stayed.
Until Wednesday.
That's when I taped the show with it on (and, regrettably, no longer a size too large).
My stated reason was that I was alongside sports desk guy Stuart Christ, a Dolphins fan who I wanted to make feel at home on the "set."
But I had a hidden agenda.
"Football Fridays" was being shown on Thursday because the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur forced the schools with appreciable Jewish populations to not play on Friday night.
No one came out and said it, but I know many out there were thinking it: What's the difference, your inner-voice asked, Jewish kids don't play football anyway?
Now imagine if someone said that to Jay Fiedler back when he was a tyke.
You never know.
And I wanted to wear the jersey as a reminder.

In Bloom

2010-09-10T12:21:00.000-07:00

No, you're eyes were not deceiving you during the latest installment of "Football Fridays" at www.timesherald.com. For the astute among you, that was a No. 11 black Eagles jersey I was wearing.
And it was in honor of the Jewish New Year, as it was a Jeremy Bloom jersey. For those of you who simply chose to forget, Bloom (technically half-Jewish, though reportedly now a born-again Christian in his post-athletic career as a high-end real estate agent and college football analyst) was among the final cuts from the Eagles preseason roster a few years back. The result was disastrous on two fronts. My dream of seeing one of my brethren playing for my favorite team -- let alone at a skill position -- was shattered. And the Eagles were left without a punt returner for the season-opener in Green Bay. The forgettable Greg Lewis fumbled one punt that led to a touchdown and, with no faith in Lewis, safety J.R. Reed fumbled another punt that set the Packers up for a game-winning field goal.
Bloom, an Olympic skier who had flashed as a receiver and returner at Colorado before giving up football before the Eagles drafted him, failed to show the hops in the preseason that the Eagles had hoped. However, he showed solid hands and would not have dropped either punt in that painful loss.
With the Eagles about to open the current season against Green Bay, and with the high holy days upon us, the jersey seemed appropriate -- at least in this warped thing above my shoulders that I call a head.
As for the jersey worn in Week 1, that was my vintage No. 31 Wilbert Montgomery shirt (circa 1980, the year the star running back led the Eagles to a Super Bowl loss to Oakland) that I received from the better half for Chrismanukkah (Christmas/Hanukkah) two years ago. While a beautiful jersey -- with stitched numbers, as opposed to iron-on -- the Eagles are 0-4 with me wearing it on game day.
Since I have no high expectations for this season anyway -- it's one of those years where a step back will hopefully lead to two steps forward down the road -- I plan to let my Montgomery jersey to see enough game action to break the jinx.

Stone Free

2010-09-07T13:14:00.000-07:00

You go, Barack!!!

Obama channels Hendrix on critics: ‘They talk about me like a dog’

By Holly Bailey holly Bailey Tue Sep 7, 12:10 pm ET

Has President Obama been listening to a lot of Jimi Hendrix lately? With just under two months to go before Election Day, Obama kicked off the fall campaign season Monday with an aggressive speech targeting Republicans. But it was an off-script moment in the speech that's attracted the most attention, as Obama accused his GOP critics of talking about him "like a dog."

"Some powerful interests who had been dominating the agenda in Washington for a very long time -- and they're not always happy with me -- they talk about me like a dog. That's not in my prepared remarks, but it's true," Obama said during a speech at Wisconsin's Laborfest on Monday.

Watch Obama's remarks (the Hendrix quote is a little more than a minute in, at 1:13):

Though Obama didn't acknowledge it, the line was a verbatim quote from "Stone Free," the first song Hendrix wrote after moving to England in 1966. "They talk about me like a dog," the song says. "Talkin about the clothes I wear. But they don't realize they're the ones who's square."

It's unclear if Obama consciously or unconsciously cited the lyric. A White House spokesman did not respond to requests for comment. But regardless of its source, Obama's off-script message syncs with his overall frustration with Republicans, whom he has lambasted repeatedly as the "party of no."

With polls showing Democrats still trailing badly as the midterm campaign enters its post-Labor Day upsurge, Obama stepped up that attack line Monday. In his remarks, he suggested that the GOP will always block bipartisanship, no matter the situation. "If I said the sky was blue, they'd say no," he vented. "If I said fish live in the sea, they'd say no. They just think it's better to score political points before an election than to solve problems."

[Photos: Obama starting to show his age]

It's all a part of the Democrats' efforts to convince Americans that a vote for the GOP this fall would return the country back to the state it was in before Obama won the presidency. Though polls show the effort isn't working, Obama has made the argument again and again, tying it to the issue that seems to be driving voters this fall: the economy.

"They're betting that between now and November, you'll come down with a case of amnesia. They think you'll forget what their agenda did to this country," Obama said. "They think you'll just believe that they've changed. These are the folks whose policies helped devastate our middle class and drive our economy into a ditch. And now they're asking you for the keys back."

Could It Be Magic?

2010-09-01T11:37:00.000-07:00

What do we have here? Nothing like the truth hitting you right in the face.

Noted anti-global-warming scientist reverses course

By Brett Michael Dykes brett Michael Dykes Tue Aug 31, 2:17 pm ET

With scientific data piling up showing that the world has reached its hottest-ever point in recorded history, global-warming skeptics are facing a high-profile defection from their ranks. Bjorn Lomborg, author of the influential tract "The Skeptical Environmentalist," has reversed course on the urgency of global warming, and is now calling for action on "a challenge humanity must confront."

Lomborg, a Danish academic, had previously downplayed the risk of acute climate change. A former member of Greenpeace, he was a vocal critic of the Kyoto Protocol -- a global U.N. treaty to cut carbon emissions that the United States refused to ratify -- as well as numerous other environmental causes.

"The Skeptical Environmentalist," published in 2001, argued that many key preoccupations of the environmental movement, including pollution control and biodiversity, were either overblown as threats or amenable to relatively simple technological fixes. Lomborg argued that the governments spending billions to curb carbon emissions would be better off diverting those resources to initiatives such as AIDS research, anti-malaria programs and other kinds of humanitarian aid.

Lomborg's essential argument was: Yes, global warming is real and human behavior is the main reason for it, but the world has far more important things to worry about.

Oh, how times have changed.

In a book to be published this year, Lomborg calls global warming "undoubtedly one of the chief concerns facing the world today" and calls for the world's governments to invest tens of billions of dollars annually to fight climate change.

Lomborg's former foes in the environmental movement are so far unimpressed by news of his conversion. Calling him a "shrewd self-promoter," Grist.org's Jonathan Hiskes marveled at Lomborg's ability to "play the media" in simply "adopting a position already held by millions of sensible people." And Friends of the Earth climate campaigner Mike Childs told the U.K. Guardian, "It appears that the self-styled skeptical environmentalist is beginning to become less skeptical as he enters middle age."

Lyin' Eyes

2010-08-27T08:46:00.000-07:00

As soon as I heard that Glenn Beck was going blind, several thoughts raced through my head:

Among them:

-Good! Maybe there is a God after all.

-There has got to be a joke in there somewhere, especially when one considers the adage about performing a certain act of self-indulgence so much that it will lead to blindness.

-How will he see race now?

And said to myself: "Yo G2, there is a column here."

But Beck is an attention whore. And even though to put him in the limelight, I don't want to be an accomplice to any such crime.

But this march on Washington D.C. Saturday -- one where the stated reason is to "restore honor" but the real one is to taunt black America, much in the way Beck and Co. think Muslims are trying to taunt Christian America with the mosque near Ground Zero (I'm against it too, but more because of the place and time of the community center with mosque attached) -- is over the top.

Beck's ignorance should not be ignored. It should be addressed, head-on, and the backlash should drive him to his knees begging for mercy and forgiveness.

And none should be granted.

This is nothing less than a disgrace -- unless the honor being restored is the honor that was lost when the president before the current one did his damage.

That fact is so obvious that anyone should be able to see it.

Glenn Beck isn't going blind. He already is.

Doctor! Doctor!

2010-08-26T13:09:00.000-07:00

It was as predictable as a Ryan Howard strikeout. Before the ink was even dry on my Aug. 22 column on gun control -- which was a desperate plea to keep our children safe from "tragic accidents" inside the home -- the gun nuts came out of their caves to give me grief.

While I'd love to answer each insane response with a dose of sanity, I can -- and will -- cut to the chase.

Watch "Bowling For Columbine" twice and call me in the morning ...

You've Got To Hide Your Love Away

2010-08-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

I know this country's history of religious tolerance -- despite some rough patches along the way -- is a right source of pride.

But we need to think with our heads, not our hearts, on this lingering wedge issue of the MCC (Muslim Community Center) at a site close enough to Ground Zero (sorry, AP, but I'm capitalizing it out of respect ... my blog, my rules) that it was severely damaged on 9/11.

While we must keep in mind that all Muslim are not terrorists, all of the terrorists -- at least the ones who paint a target on our backs -- are Muslims.

Black Is Black

2010-07-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

Hoping to clarify a point in today's column "Murdock and the Mayonnaise Mafia:" I wrote that Deroy Murdock is not an African American but is dark-skinned. A reader promptly called in confused, as Murdock's picture that runs with his weekly column shows that he is black man. The reader joked that there must be something wrong with his eyesight.
No need to get those eyes checked, sir. You are not going blind, like Glenn Beck.
Murdock is a first generation American of Costa Rican heritage, meaning he is not an "African" American, per se -- just like a Haitian in America would be a Haitian American and a Jamaican a Jamaican American.
The point beyond the technicalities is that Murdock still fits into the retro term of "colored" and should be nothing less than ashamed of himself for ripping the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) just to appease the white man's choir to which he proudly preaches.

From Me To You

2010-07-22T08:59:00.000-07:00

As a public service to our letter to the editor writers, I would like to pass along the following tips to help you get your letter published:

1) The "official" limit is 350 words. I may let you slide at 355 (keep that between us), but not 432.

2) Your point can be made without USING ALL CAPS, exclamation points (!) and bold letters. And if you really overdo it with both, then I'M REALLY GONNA PUT YOUR LETTER ON THE BOTTOM OF THE PILE OR ACCIDENTALLY-ON-PURPOSE DELETE IT!!!!!!

3) You also must include your full name and your hometown. If you want to be more anonymous, I would suggest you vent through our Your 2 Cents line or comment on our blogs or website.

4) Keep in mind that letters to the editor are to the editor, and pass through his desk first. I'm the managing editor whose responsibilities include the opinion page (where letters to the editor are printed).

5) We are under no obligation, legally, to run your letter. If you don't see it, maybe you are not in accordance with one of the issues raised here. That said, I'd love nothing more than to have a plethora of letters at my disposal.

6) One thing that will keep your letter out of the mix is libeling someone else in print. Even though it is not us doing the writing, we cannot allow you to do it. So back up any facts. You can't just call someone, particularly one who is not a public figure, a liar without explaining the wherefore and whys of their alleged lies.

7) A lot of you write about angst over tax increases and other financial concerns. Please make sure your math is accurate, and don't use the % sign. Please, write out the word "percent."

Lastly, before I move you to some helpful basic writing hints and tips that will keep our editors sane and your letter on the page after I place it there, your fast track to getting published would be to hit us during dry spells. If you see stretches of days with only one letter — or Today in History in place of where the letters run on Page A4 — it's a good time to get something in to us.

And now, the following from Kaboodle.com:

10 Common Errors “Spell Check” Won’t Catch

While we can rely on a spell checker to catch glaring errors, a computer can’t pick up on all careless mistakes, especially if the word could be correct in a different context. Often word misuse is our mistake. The English language is full of homonyms, or words that have different meanings but sound and look similar, which makes it easy to confuse proper usage. For instance, verbally, you might not even notice the difference between “your” and “you’re.” But in print, the error can lead the reader to perceive you as less intelligent than you are. For this reason, it's important to spell check and proofread your documents, especially for the following common misuses, which are so easy to make, you might even have to check your document a couple times to catch them.

Its versus It’s (and all other apostrophes):
According to a copy editing instructor for California-based copy editing service provider Edicetera, confusing “its” and “it’s” is the most common error in the English language. That one minuscule apostrophe (or lack thereof) drastically changes the meaning of the entire sentence. “It’s” is a contraction of “it is,” whereas “its” refers to possession. Also, watch out for “your” versus “you’re.”

Sales versus Sails
Can you imagine writing on your resume that you “increased sails by 20 percent”?! Unless you’re applying to a job for a sail boat manufacturer, this careless mistake will probably get your resume sailing right into the recycling bin.

Affect versus Effect
There is a lot of confusion around this one but here’s the rule: “Affect” is a verb and “effect” is a noun. It’s as simple as that.

Would Have NOT Would of
The subtlety in pronunciation leads to the rampant misuse of this phrase; however “would of” is never correct and may make you appear as if you are not well-read.

Through versus Threw
“He threw the ball through the window.” “Threw” is a verb and “through” is a preposition. And speaking of “through,” be careful to make sure you don’t actually mean “thorough” or vice versa. The slight variation in spelling will not be picked up by a computer, but writing “I am through” when you mean “I am thorough” is quite ironic, don’t you think?

Then versus Than
Six is more than five; after five then comes six. “Than” refers to a comparison, while “then” refers to a subsequent event.

Supposed To NOT Suppose To
“Suppose” is a verb, meaning to think or to ponder. The correct way to express a duty is to write, “I was supposed to…”

Wonder versus Wander
You can wander around while you wonder why “wander” and “wonder” have such different meanings, yet sound oh so similar.

Their versus There versus They’re
OK, once and for all: “Their” is possessive; “there” refers to distance; and “they’re” is a contraction of “they are.”

Farther versus Further
While both words refer to distance, grammarians distinguish “farther” as physical distance and “further” as metaphorical distance. You can dive further into a project, for instance, or you can dive farther into the ocean.

Bombs Away

2010-07-02T21:29:00.000-07:00

Be prepared to be scared. The following is a time line of the life and times of one Faisal Shahzad, aka the wanabe terrorist who failed at ignited a bomb in Times Square on May 1 of this year.

This should chill you to the core, as it reveals the gaping holes in the student visa system.

June 30, 1979 - Born in Pakistan, the youngest of four children. Attended primary school in Saudi Arabia and returned to his native land to continue his education as a mediocre student.

1997 - Despite his underwhelming academic record, he came to the U.S. to study at Southeastern University in Washington D.C., a school which is now defunct.

1998 - Sporting a 2.78 GPA, he was granted a student visa.

1999 - Placed on a U.S. Customs (now DHS) watch list.

2000 - Transfers to the University of Bridgeport, a school with a sizable number of international students.

2001 - After 9/11, he is heard pronouncing that America "had it coming."

Spring, 2002 - Received a degree in computer applications with his parents in attendance for the ceremony. A month earlier, received a work visa.

December 24, 2004 - Returns to Pakistan to be married in an arranged union with a woman born in the United States to Pakistani-born parents who have split their time living in Qatar, Saudi Arabia and Colorado.

Summer, 2005 - Remaining the U.S. on his visa, he earns an MBA from Bridgeport.

June 15, 2006 - Quits his job as a financial analyst for Eliza Arden Cosmetics in "disgust" over his sub-$50K salary.

January, 2006 - Earns his Green Card, buys a single three-bedroom house and earns $70K per year as a financial analyst.

February, 2006 - Sends the following e-mail: "Can you tell me a way to save the oppressed? And a way to fight back when rockets are fired at us and Muslim blood flows? Everyone knows how the Muslim country bows down to pressure from west. Everyone knows the kind of humiliation we are faced with around the globe." As the year progresses, he becomes more religious, praying at mosques as many as five times per day.

2008 - His father denies his request to fight in Afghanistan against the U.S.

April 17, 2009 - Granted U.S. citizenship, and then quits his job within weeks and stopped making mortgage payments. Marriage becomes strained and he tells his wife he wants to find work in the Middle East. She instead takes the family's two children to Saudi Arabia, where her parents are living.

July, 2009 - Travels to Pakistan, finding his way to a terrorist training camp.

February. 2010 - Returns to U.S. on a flight from Dubai; buys a 1993 Nissan Pathfinder for $1,300 on Craig's List.

May 1, 2010 - Parks Pathfinder in Times Square with car bomb, which ignites but fails to explode.

May 3, 2010 - Arrested at JFK Airport after boarding a flight to Dubai, after which he purportedly planned to return home to Pakistan. Following the arrest, he reportedly cooperated with authorities but was unrepentant.

Madman Across The Water

2010-06-18T13:13:00.000-07:00

When Elton John provided the musical entertainment for Rush Limbaugh's 44th wedding, I reserved judgment (nice of me, since I know both were holding their collective breath). While it seemed odd from a distance, a closer look revealed that Limbaugh -- conservative nutcase that he is -- does not join some of his brethren in gay-bashing. Moreover, Sir Elton took the funds from the gig and flipped them straight into his AIDS Foundation.

Elton John, my favorite performer in my pre-Springsteen period, has again made headlines -- and defied pretzel logic -- by refusing to pull the plug on a scheduled concert in Tel Aviv.

As the rest of the world goes with the flow of following its natural instinct to hate on Israel (code word for Jews), with the rationale being the misunderstood but regrettable flotilla raid on a humanitarian ship carrying aid to the Gaza strip, John refused to follow the path of Elvis Costello and The Pixies and boycott the scheduled concert that drew 50,000 fans (many of whom may not even agree with the policies of its right-leaning, hard-line government).

According to the Jerusalem Post, he performed in Tel Aviv on Thursday despite "pressure" from human rights groups.

"Shalom, we are so happy to be back here! Ain't nothing gonna stop us from coming, baby," John said during his performance.

He added: "Musicians spread love and peace, and bring people together. That's what we do. We don't cherry-pick our conscience."

Don't Say You Don't Remember

2010-06-05T17:13:00.000-07:00

I have been tinkering with my screenplay about my summers at the Jersey shore for about, oh, 25 years now. The title has changed from "The P of President" to "That's What People Do" to "Down Da Shore" to original title.

Other than that, I have about 5-10 minutes of movie on paper and the rest in my head now full of flickering and fading brain cells.

The soundtrack? Well, that's walk in the park -- or beach.

Keep in mind that these are not necessarily songs I like. Some I have come to loathe. Nonetheless, they are the tunes that take me back to that time and place.

Here we go:

One Of These Nights, The Eagles

Note: This will be the opening track, after a brief interlude of just the sound of Atlantic Ocean at night. The camera follows through the windswept summer-night streets and into my grandparents' summer house before abruptly ending when my step-father tells me to shut off the radio I have tucked under my pillow. (If the Eagles don't allow the song to be used, the backup is, gulp, The Hustle by Van McCoy.

Knock Three Times, Dawn

Note: Confession time, my mother used to perform other Tony Orlando and Dawn songs during breakfast (after she convinced herself she should have been in show business after the teachers at her school did some sort of talent show), but those others -- Sweet Gypsy Rose, Tie A Yellow Ribbon -- are not going to be any movie of mine. Knock Three Times? Gotta admit, it's a guilty pleasure.

I Honestly Love You, Olivia Newtown John

Note: Another one my mother performed all summer that is almost passable.

Mandy, Barry Manilow

Note: See Knock Three Times entry. There were other Barry Manilow songs she sang, but I don't want to chase people out of the theater.

Delta Dawn, Helen Reddy

Note: See Knock Three Times and Mandy entries.

Vehicle, Ides Of March

Note: The coolest character in the movie is my older cousin Beth, modeled after my cousin Sue, and this was her anthem in her wilder younger days (or so I was told).

Do You Wanna Make Love?, Peter McCann

Note: Was it a beach day or a Two Guys day? If the weather was not optimum, we would go to the closest discount department store, Two Guys. One day, Beth/Sue told my cousin Robert (Richard in the movie) and I (Jordan) we could each pick out one 45. This was my choice. His was the theme from Star Wars.

We've Got To Get It Again, The Addrissi Brothers

Note: No real reason to put it in, other than it was a cool song forgotten by time.

Blinded By The Light, Manfred Mann's Earth Band

Note: Written by Springsteen, the lyrics to the more popular cover kept us up nights on the porch trying to figure out the meaning. Years later, when I became a Bruce addict, I realized we were perplexed for two reasons. One, they were mixed up and taken out of context in this version. Two, Springsteen wrote the song more as an exercise in word play about the characters in his world than to have any deeper meaning.

Magic, Pilot

Note: See We've Got To Get It On Again for rationale. Planned for use during the amusement park scene at Million Dollar Pier.

All By Myself, Eric Carmen

Note: Appears in the part of the movie when there is a lot of soul-searching and friction amongst the characters.

Show Me the Way, Peter Frampton

Note: The big wrap-up song, where all issues are resolved, before the titles roll and the theme song, to be written by Mike Post, plays.

That's it -- for now -- if and when I wrote more, additional songs -- particularly for flashback scenes to when my mom and aunt were younger -- will be revealed.

Out Of Time

2010-05-26T10:27:00.000-07:00

You know you're going old when ...

The lead singer from one of your all-time favorite bands has to cancel a tour because of a bad back. That's right, no U2 in July because Bono -- perhaps from carrying the weight of the world too long -- can't do it right now.

And I had a whole day planned; one that included breaking my diet for a cheese steak at Pat's or Geno's (my policy is hit whichever one has the shorter line).

But it gets worse.

The lead singer of another all-time favorite band does an exclusive interview with ... Larry King.

That's right, and he fit right in on the set with the human insect.

Oy.

My days in Miami Beach, the retirement home for Jews from the mid-Atlantic, are coming.

The Bristol Stomp

2010-05-18T13:06:00.000-07:00

Get pregnant, get rich. Get nauseated. Only in America. Like mother, like daughter ...

Bristol Palin set to earn up to $30k on the lecture circuit
From the New York Post

Sarah Palin's nineteen-year-old daughter Bristol plans to join her mother on the lucrative speaking circuit and could expect to earn between $15,000 to $30,000 per appearance, People reported Tuesday.

Bristol is now a member of the Single Source Speakers Bureau. According to her profile she is available to speak on "pregnancy prevention, abstinence, faith and life."

Bristol gained notoriety during her mother's 2008 vice-presidential run when it was revealed she was pregnant with then boyfriend Levi Johnston's child.

Bristol previously said that she is financially independent of her parents and is not leaning on her parents for financial help.

"I'm doing it by myself," Bristol told People magazine. "I would say the majority of any paycheck I receive is going to Tripp. Childcare is very expensive, formula is expensive, diapers are expensive -- and you don't think about that as a kid, at all."

Bristol's mother, Sarah, makes frequent appearances at speaking events across the U.S. and has reportedly earned $12 million since she resigned as Governor of Alaska in July 2009.

Sympathy For The Devil

2010-05-17T10:02:00.000-07:00

One has to almost feel badly for Arlen Specter. One day before E-Day, he is fending off a serious challenge from Joe Sestak for the Democratic nod for Novemeber's senate race against Pat Toomey.
Specter -- once a Democrat trapped in a Republican's body before becoming the opposite -- has been his own worst enemy as Sestak traced and tracked him, like a magic bullet, to make this one too close to call.
Heck, Specter's cials can't even make him look and sound like someone who is more likely to plotz, or worse, than to finish out his term. He has become the poster senior for term -- and age -- limits for our lawmakers.
Sestak has hit below the belt at times, but Specter has slung mud as well.
And the choice, if you are still undecided, is go with Sestak. He has the energy, vision and best chance to keep the seat on the righteous side of the aisle in November.
And Specter has no one to blame for it but himself. Sometimes some guys just don't know when to quit. It's up to the rest of us to put people such as this out of their misery.
They shoot horses, don't they?
The least we can do is put an old politician out to pasture.

Ohio

2010-05-04T09:19:00.000-07:00

Let us not forget that today -- May 4, 2010 -- marks the 40th anniversary of one of the darkest episodes in American history: The needless gunning down of four students during an anti-war protest at Kent State University in Ohio.
Literally, and figuratively, that tragic event -- along with the Manson murders -- signaled the end of the 1960s and the promise that decade held.

I've Got A Name

2010-04-26T11:05:00.000-07:00

While the NFL prolonged the paint-drying exhibit they call the NFL Draft to three days this year, I enjoyed the life of a reformed addict. I still bought every draft guide that every magazine stand had to offer, but I refused to spend the time just watching and waiting for the Eagles to make me scratch my balding dome. I worked on Night One, and didn't even know the Eagles traded up to No. 13 until I heard a ruckus from our guys in the Sports Department. On the second night of the draft (rounds 2 and 3), the wife and I went to Sellersville for dinner (Washington House) and a concert (liberal subversive Janis Ian). Sure, I had secret operatives leave me messages on my turned-off cell phone, but I was so enraptured by the concert that Andy Reid's dalliances were secondary. On Day 3, I followed the fourth and fifth rounds online (one can only take so much Tim Tebow talk from the talking heads on TV) and went out with Sofia and the better half for some errands. Now, as I check online every 12 seconds for a list of undrafted players signed by the Eagles, I'm hit in the face with one of my major pet peeves -- the Mr. Irrelevant award, which is given to the player drafted last each year. Instead of spewing my angst in a new blog about the mockery being made of wide receiver Tim Toone and Weber State (drafted by the eternally irrelevant Detroit Lions), I felt a rerun of my column from last year on the topic would be ... relevant:

Keeping the name game relevant

Originally published: Sunday, May 3, 2009

By GORDON GLANTZ, Managing Editor

After spending hours I’ll never get back watching the NFL Draft last weekend, this semi-forgotten song has been bouncing around in my head.

It’s called “(I Love It When You) Call Me Names” by a singer-songwriter named Joan Armatrading who was always loved more by the critics than the fickle public.

The verses of this song — released way back in 1983 — reveal an adult-themed meaning. But it is the chorus — basically the song’s title repeated multiple times — that resonated all week.

Why? Because, deep down, we all need to be called names. It is as essential as oxygen. If we’re not labeled something — liberal or conservative, white-collar or blue-collar, funny or serious, family man or swinger, etc. — then who the heck are we?

Do we become trees falling in the forest that no one hears?

Without calling it “swine” flu, we wouldn’t know that this media-created scourge came from pigs.

Without calling it an “independent” film, we wouldn’t know that what we’re seeing was made to stretch on a shoestring budget, but free from the greedy clutches of Hollywood.

We need name-calling — as long as we don’t abuse the privilege and get lazy.

Take it from someone who has been called every name in the book — especially since the debut of this column in 2004. As long as I consume a balanced diet of labels, I dare say it all keeps me feeling virile.

Good, bad or indifferent — a moniker fired from the launching pad of another means you exist. You matter. You are not anonymous.

Which brings us back to the aforementioned Armatrading song and the NFL Draft, which I swear I’m not going to let consume another weekend of my life (stop laughing, people who know me too well). The two-day event concluded with one of the most insulting names one can be called.

It trumps any vile tag in the book. It makes “mama’s boy” look like “stud.” It makes “milquetoast” look like “flamboyant.”

Some smug clown named Paul Salata steps to the podium to announce the day’s final selection — this while the on-air draft experts, the know-it-alls who dissected every single other player chosen as if each were mythical gladiators from ancient Rome, suddenly start to laugh it up like middle-schoolers ready to pounce on the class scapegoat in the playground after school.

The ringleader, Salata, has long-since come to the brilliant conclusion that the last player taken in the NFL Draft should be dubbed “Mr. Irrelevant,” and has the gall to invite the poor kid for an annual week-long mockfest in Newport Beach, Calif.

Irrelevant? Really?

There are people who seem irrelevant to us (heck, I could rattle off about 100 without even batting an eye), but they surely matter to someone somewhere.

Such a mean-spirited label fails to fit the last player chosen in a professional sports draft. Even if the odds of sticking in the league are slim, it is a tremendous accomplishment.

The NFL, which restricts excessive touchdown celebrations and other demonstrative acts of passion, should be flat-out ashamed of itself for giving Salata this platform each year.

Consider the hundreds of thousands of kids who play the game of football — from the Pop Warner high school levels to the thousands who are outstanding enough to wear college uniforms. A small percentage of that multitude are good enough to get a passing glimpse from a pro scout, and a mere few hundred (256 this year) get drafted.

At present, there are four of Salata’s former Mr. Irrelevants still in the league, which is four more than he would like you to know about. There are countless undrafted players, such as Eagles’ standout safety Quintin Mikell, playing for pay.

This year’s Mr. Irrelevant is Ryan Succop, a kicker from South Carolina nabbed by the Kansas City Chiefs. Those of us who follow these things closely know that kickers are rarely drafted. If they showed promise in college, they get invited to a training camp to challenge an entrenched veteran. They usually don’t make it in the first try and bounce around like drifters, eventually finding the right team at the right time — themselves becoming that entrenched veteran fending off challenges from newcomers each year — or moving on with their lives.

“I don’t plan on being irrelevant,” said Succop, who belied the jock image at South Carolina by holding down a double major in finance and real estate and a minor in computer science. “I’ve been very blessed. I plan on making an impact right away.”

UPDATE: 2009 winner Ryan Succop became the kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs, and kicked a winning field goal to beat the Pittsburgh Steelers on November 22, 2009. He went on to tie the NFL record for highest field goal percentage by a rookie in a season with 86.2%, and also passed NFL Hall of Famer Jan Stenerud for most field goals made by a rookie in Chiefs history. Succop was awarded the Mack Lee Hill Award, given the team's top rookie.

Maybe it is the 82-year-old Salata — a guy who bases his own existence on coming out of hiding once a year to mock someone else completely out of context — who must have issues with his own relevance after playing one forgettable season in the NFL.

Unlike Succop, he should not feel blessed. He makes no impact. His relevance is in serious doubt.

And, perhaps, this is the larger lesson to be learned here. Perhaps the people slinging reckless labels are telling us more about themselves than whomever they strike with their daily darts.

It’s not that we should seek some great penance for calling names. I, for one, would be out of business in a hurry. We just have to be creative and strive to be accurate.

Above all, keep it relevant.

Back in the USSR

2010-04-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

For every action there is a ... over-reaction? Come on, Russia. How much have you been racking over the years by extorting money from infertile Western couples? Keep in real, comrades!

Read and react:

Russia suspends all adoptions to US families

By NATALIYA VASILYEVA, Associated Press Writer Nataliya Vasilyeva, Associated Press Writer 2 hrs 9 mins ago

MOSCOW – Russia has suspended all adoptions to U.S. families until the two countries can agree on procedures, the Foreign Ministry said Thursday — a week after an American woman sent her 7-year-old adopted son back to Russia on a plane by himself.

The boy's return — without supervision or explanation aside from a note he carried from his adoptive mother saying he had psychological problems — incensed Russian authorities and the public, and prompted aggressive media coverage of foreign adoptions.

A U.S. delegation will visit Moscow "in the next few days" to discuss a possible bilateral adoption agreement, ministry spokesman Andrei Nesterenko said.

"Russia believes that only such an agreement which will contain effective tools for Russian and U.S. officials to monitor the living conditions of adopted Russian children will ensure that recent tragedies in the United States will not be repeated," Nesterenko said in a televised briefing.

The Tennessee woman who sent back her adopted Russian son last Thursday claimed she had been misled by his Russian orphanage about his condition.

Russians were outraged that no charges were filed against her in the United States.

"How can we prosecute a person who abused the rights of a Russian child abroad?" Russia's children's rights ombudsman, Pavel Astakhov, said in a televised interview Wednesday. "If there was an adoption treaty in place, we would have legal means to protect Russian children abroad.

Some 3,000 U.S. applications for adopting Russian children are now pending, according to the Joint Council on International Children's Services, which represents many U.S. agencies engaged in international adoption.

But the numbers have declined sharply in recent years — with only 1,586 U.S. adoptions from Russia last year, compared with more than 5,800 in 2004.

Russia itself has been a big factor in the drop-off, adoption experts said, citing a perception that many children from Russian orphanages can present special challenges, due to such conditions as fetal alcohol syndrome.

Russian lawmakers for years have nevertheless suggested suspending such adoptions, after other cases of abuse and even killings of Russian children adopted in the United States.

Thousands of American adoption advocates had hoped this week to petition Russian and U.S. leaders to prevent the halt in adoptions announced Thursday. Poignant pleas from would-be adoptive parents were included in an online petition, signed by more than 11,000 people and addressed to President Barack Obama and Russian counterpart Dmitry Medvedev, the council said.

U.S. officials appeared willing to consider Russia's demand for a formal adoption pact, after years of resisting such entreaties while arguing that an international accord called the Hague Convention would be sufficient once Russia ratified it.

"We're willing to talk about some sort of bilateral understanding where we would ensure that these kinds of things could not happen," the U.S. ambassador to Russia, John Beyrle, told CBS television this week.

Laughter in the Rain

2010-03-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning to some clouds and light, but it was a beautiful day in America. At least for now, it's almost by the people and for the people (even though some are too dense -- and racist -- to realize it).

It's Getting Better

2010-03-11T12:19:00.000-08:00

Beep, Beep, Beep ...

We interrupt this ongoing broadcast of a blank screen with the following news flash: THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY HAS GROWN A SPINE!!!

Dems look to health vote without abortion foes

By ERICA WERNER
The Association

WASHINGTON – House leaders have concluded they cannot change a divisive abortion provision in President Barack Obama's health care bill and will try to pass the sweeping legislation without the support of ardent anti-abortion Democrats.

A break on abortion would remove a major obstacle for Democratic leaders in the final throes of a yearlong effort to change health care in the United States. But it sets up a risky strategy of trying to round up enough Democrats to overcome, not appease, a small but possibly decisive group of Democratic lawmakers in the House.

Democratic leaders are working to rally rank-and-file members around last-minute agreements on several sticking points, health insurance taxes and prescription drug coverage among them, and dozens of other complicated issues — all as Republicans stand ready to oppose the overhaul en masse.

"We will finish the job," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., wrote in a letter to his Republican counterpart describing the path ahead.

Said Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa: "The stars are aligning for victory on comprehensive health reform. The end is in sight."

Democratic Rep. Henry Waxman of California, chairman of the Energy and Commerce Committee, said the leadership will press ahead without reworking the abortion provision, which opponents say falls short in restricting taxpayer dollars for abortion coverage. He predicted some of the anti-abortion lawmakers in the party will end up voting for the overhaul anyway.

One point on which Obama may not get his way is the White House demand for a vote by March 18, a week away. Speaking to reporters after Democrats met for a status report on the emerging health care agreements, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called the deadline merely "an interesting date."

Before a vote, Pelosi, D-Calif., said lawmakers must first receive a cost report from the Congressional Budget Office on changes to the bill being worked out among the White House and Democratic congressional leaders. After that, it could be a week or more before the legislation goes to the floor.

House Democrats were meeting behind closed doors Thursday to hear a point-by-point briefing on the latest health care compromise from White House health reform director Nancy Ann DeParle. Pelosi asked the members whether they wanted to vote sooner rather than later. They responded with a broad shout of "Yes!" according to lawmakers coming out of the session.

It will come down to a phenomenal effort by congressional leaders and the White House to win over skittish lawmakers after a year of incendiary debate, even as Obama keeps up campaign-style appearances designed to fire up public support.

At stake is the fate of the president's call to expand health care to some 30 million people who lack insurance and to prohibit insurance company practices such as denial of coverage on the basis of pre-existing medical conditions. Almost every American would be affected by the legislation, which would change the ways many people receive and pay for health care, from the most routine checkup to the most expensive, lifesaving treatment.

White House officials and congressional Democratic leaders met Wednesday evening in Pelosi's office. Aides said they agreed on scaling back a health insurance tax that unions oppose, and on gradually closing the Medicare prescription drug coverage gap. They were not far apart on other major issues, including Medicaid financing for states that already provide above-average benefits, and on improving subsidies that would be available under the plan to help individuals and families pay their premiums.

Several Democrats expressed frustration, however, with the absence of cost estimates from the Congressional Budget Office on the latest provisions. They want to ensure the total price tag stays around $950 billion over 10 years.

Those costs would be covered through a combination of Medicare cuts and tax increases. Among the new levies, the Medicare payroll tax would be applied to the investment earnings of upper-income people, including proceeds from capital gains. Until now, the tax has solely been levied on wages.

In a bit of bookkeeping, the Congressional Budget Office on Thursday released its final cost estimates for the bill the Senate passed on Christmas Eve. That 10-year, $875 billion plan would reduce the federal deficit and cover 31 million people who'd otherwise be uninsured. The Senate bill is the foundation of the proposal that Obama wants Congress to pass in the next few weeks. But the numbers will change yet again with the new version.

Obama invited members of the Congressional Black Caucus and the Congressional Hispanic Caucus to meet him Thursday at the White House to discuss the health legislation.

House and Senate Democrats are working on a complex rescue mission for the health care legislation, which appeared on the cusp of passage late last year before Senate Republicans gained the strength to sustain a filibuster that could prevent final passage. The White House is pushing for a vote by the House before Obama leaves on a foreign trip at the end of next week.

The current plan is for the House to approve the Senate-passed bill from late last year, despite serious objections to numerous provisions. Both houses then would pass a second bill immediately, making changes in the first measure before both could take effect. The second bill would be debated under rules that bar a filibuster, meaning it could clear by majority vote in the Senate without Democrats needing the 60-vote supermajority now beyond their reach.

That strategy would leave in place the Senate language on abortion. It would allow health plans receiving federal subsidies in a new insurance marketplace to cover abortion, provided they pay for it only with money collected from policyholders. The House bill would have prohibited health plans receiving subsidies from covering abortions.

Rep. Bart Stupak, D-Mich., has been pushing for the stricter House provisions, saying that he and a dozen or so abortion opponents would vote against the health care bill if the Senate language is retained. But the leadership appears to be moving to call his bluff.

Republicans have vowed to do everything they can to thwart the plan, and for the Democrats, some policy questions remain unsettled.

Obama already has moved to eliminate a couple of special deals in the Senate bill that turned off voters when they became public, including extra Medicaid money for Nebraska — derided by critics as the "Cornhusker kickback." Late Wednesday the White House said the president was pushing to strip out a number of deals that remain, possibly including a provision sought by Sen. Max Baucus, D-Mont., providing Medicare coverage for residents of Libby, Mont., who suffer from asbestos-related illnesses because of a now-closed mining operation.

Politico first reported the list.

Oh Daddy

2010-03-02T12:16:00.000-08:00

Throughout my childhood, and into my alleged adult years, Jim Bunning was always the answer to this trivia question: Name the Phillies pitcher who threw a perfect game on Father's Day in 1964.
The answer: Jim Bunning.
As that became easy, the additional question was tacked on. What is he doing now? The answer was that he was a congressman from Kentucky.
Add a third question now.
Who can name the former Phillies pitcher who threw a perfect game in 1964, became a congressman from Kentucky and then became perfectly lame in 2010 by stonewalling jobs benefits with his conservative pomposity.

Out Of Touch

2010-02-26T08:43:00.001-08:00

Are you kidding me with this, Olympic higher-ups? They're Canadians, for crying out loud. They were born drinking beer.

Personally, I found the gold medal women's hockey game one of the most refreshing events thus far (even if the wrong team won). There was real elation, and dejection, after the final horn sounded -- the kind you don't see from the NHL players on the men's side who go back to their million-dollar salaries once the medals are handed out.

Read on:

IOC to investigate Canadian women's hockey team for celebration

By Chris Chase

The International Olympic Committee will investigate the actions of Canadian women's hockey players who celebrated their gold medal victory Thursday night by swigging beer and smoking cigars on the ice in Vancouver.

A number of players, including 18-year-old superstar Marie-Philip Poulin, were drinking alcohol on the ice following the team's 2-0 defeat of the United States. (The legal drinking age in British Columbia is 19.) Players lingered for more than 70 minutes after the awards ceremony reveling in the arena, which was empty except for media and arena staff. (Click here to view a slideshow of the celebration.)

Gilbert Felli, the IOC's executive director of the Olympic Games, said that drinking in public was "not what we want to see" from athletes at an Olympic venue. The organization will investigate the actions and will speak with the international hockey federation and Canadian Olympic Committee and ask them to "act accordingly."

Steve Keough, a spokesman for the Canadian Olympic Committee, told the Associated Press, “We condone celebrations. … We don’t condone actions of irresponsibility. I think Canadians understand it’s quite an emotional moment for our team. It was not our intention to go against any IOC protocols.”

To be sure, the Canadian women's hockey team should have acted with more class and been a little more discreet with its celebration. But to do something drastic like ban the team from the Closing Ceremony or force them out of the Olympic Village would be an overreaction. In past Olympics we've seen steroids, political boycotts, cheating and judging scandals. A few puffs of a cigar hardly seems to be in the same league.

Waiting For A Girl Like You

2010-02-06T12:34:00.000-08:00

Tears of laughter or Tears of joy for this ridiculousness?

`Tea party' activists eagerly await Palin's words

By LIZ SIDOTI, Associated Press Writer Liz Sidoti, Associated Press Writer 1 hr 46 mins ago

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – These are Sarah Palin's people. Just ask them.

At the mere mention of her name, "tea party" activists light up and whip out "Saracudda" buttons — a play off her "Sara Barracuda" nickname from her high school basketball team in Alaska.

With a dash of familiarity, many say they didn't vote for Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., in 2008 — they voted for "Sarah." Quite a few see her as the right person to carry their limited-government, low-tax, freedom-fighting mantle — if only she wanted it.

"She is the one," says Loren Nelson of Seattle. "And she's gonna do it."

Maybe.

The 2008 GOP vice presidential nominee isn't saying whether she'll run for president in 2012.

In fact, Republican observers say she's seemingly done more lately to establish herself as a political celebrity focused on publicity rather than a political candidate focused on policy.

If she does launch a White House bid, she has a natural constituency with this anti-establishment grass-roots network that's motivated by anger over the growth of government, budget-busting spending and President Barack Obama's policies.

In her latest media blitz since her "Going Rogue" book release last fall and the publicity tour that went with it, Palin was booked to give to give the keynote address Saturday night for the inaugural national "tea party" convention — a gathering of 600 activists from across the country.

Her fee is $100,000 for the appearance at the for-profit event. That sum has led to criticism from even some activists that it runs counter to the coalition's image and could preclude people from attending.

Palin struck back at critics in a column in USA Today, saying she weighed whether to participate.

"My decision came down to this: It's important to keep faith with people who put a little bit of their faith in you. Everyone attending this event is a soldier in the cause," she wrote. "I made a commitment to them to be there, and I am going to honor it."

Without elaborating, she says she won't benefit financially from speaking at the convention and any compensation from the appearance "will go right back to the cause."

"The soul of the Tea Party is the people who belong to it," Palin says. "They have the courage to stand up and speak out ... They believe in the same principles that guided my work in public service."

She called the "tea party" mentality an organic effort, a ground-up call to action. Because of that, she said, "the process may not always be pretty or perfect, but the message is loud and clear: We want a government worthy of the fine Americans that it serves."

The former Alaska governor also planned to tape an interview Saturday to air on "Fox News Sunday," the network where's been employed as a contributing analyst since January. Then it was off to Texas on Sunday to campaign for GOP Gov. Rick Perry, who is facing a bitter primary challenge from Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison.

Next month, she will speak at a rally in Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid's hometown of Searchlight, Nev., to kick off the Tea Party Express III tour. In April, she heads to Boston for "tea party" gathering there around the one-year anniversary of the coalition that began last spring.

The Promised Land

2010-01-28T12:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Howard Zinn ("A People's History of the United States"). Today, J.D. Salinger ("The Catcher in the Rye").

The world has lost two great voices, but their impacts live on.

Both forced ordinary people to think outside the box.

Is there any epitaph more great?

Life In A Northern Town

2010-01-26T09:14:00.001-08:00

Each day that passes since the Eagles' annual demise -- and subsequent cliche-laden platitudes that take the wind of out the sails of those of us hoping for the substantive change that will get us over the hump -- off-season hope grows.

The blogosphere is abuzz with speculation that makes Donovan McNabb all but a goner, which A-OK here. He had his time, and his chances, and has climbed to the top of the franchise's run-of-the-mill chart by collecting numbers in a pass-happy offense. He has also done a lot of his best work against bad teams, particularly since his one Super Bowl appearance.

He is about to play in his sixth pro bowl (although most of those appearances have been as a replacement for the QB who side-stepped that given year en route to the Super Bowl).

McNabb has a lot of chips -- ones the Eagles will hopefully cash in for trade value -- that still cannot buy him a Super Bowl ring at the NFL's high-end jewelry counter.

It has been written that this Sunday's Pro Bowl may very well be the last time that McNabb wears an Eagles' helmet (players wear their team's helmets in the Pro Bowl).

It is what goes under the helmet that just won't fix -- not here, not anymore. He has shown physical toughness by playing through injuries, but McNabb's mental fortitude -- his willingness to get tough in crunch time -- just isn't there.

Example: When center Jamaal Jackson went down with a season-ending injury, McNabb bemoaned it beyond what was needed in order to quickly move on to a showdown Dallas that set the stage for a quick playoff exit. It was in his head that there would be a bad exchange -- either on a snap or in the shotgun formation -- and, sure enough, McNabb's self-fulfilling prophecy of doom came to be at a crucial time.

Enough, I declare.

I was as big a McNabb supporter as there was the first half of his career. I have his jersey in my closet and one my cats his named after him.

My opinion began to change during the 2006 season when Jeff Garcia came in and ran the offense the way I had not seen it run previously -- until Kevin Kolb did the same in two starts this year.

So, here we go. I personally think there are more teams that would like to have McNabb, at the right price, than those being commonly mentioned -- Arizona, Cleveland and Minnesota.

I can see Arizona, as McNabb's spends his downtime there either bulking up with muscle or losing weight to add quickness -- depending on the year and his mood -- although that franchise has kept Matt Leinert on ice a while (kind of like Kolb, the guy whose career McNabb has quietly sought to sabotage).

As is the case with Arizona, the theoretical need for a quarterback is based on a retirement. The difference Kurt Warner is going to do the right thing at the right time, doing right by the league and the Cardinals, while diva Brett Favre will surely do the opposite in Minnesota after turning into himself at a vital time in the NFC title game.

Favre had not yet taken his fake limp into the locker room to meet with his ESPN sycophants to plot the offseason drama when speculation about McNabb going to Minnesota -- thus reuniting him with former offensive coordinator, Brad Childress -- kicked into high gear.

While it makes sense on paper, including the late first-round pick that is about what McNabb is worth, it makes no sense otherwise. The Eagles were in the championship game last year, beating a quarterback-starved Minnesota team in the first round. This year, the Eagles were the team exiting in the wild card round and Minnesota was the one losing a championship game it should have and could have won. Why would the Eagles help another team with Super Bowl aspirations stay on a par? Not going to happen, period. While McNabb is McNabb, and will always be McNabb, he would have it good in Minnesota. He would have a consistent running game and powerful defense to overcome his bouts of on-field depression. I just don't see his next life being lived in that northern town -- not unless the Eagles have a death wish.

That leaves Cleveland -- although the 49ers and Carolina Panthers are two teams on the precipice of making the playoffs and might believe, falsely, that McNabb can get them there -- as the best bet.

The Browns stink, but need a PR jolt. McNabb will struggle there without weapons, which will be hilarious to watch from afar. Cleveland's second-round pick (high in the round, because they stink), along with another in the middle rounds -- and maybe one of their two overpaid QBs, Derek Anderson or Brady Quinn, to be Kolb's backup -- would do the trick.

Will it? Who knows? The frustrating part is that it is all out of hands. But it's all good.
This is what makes the off-season fun. You can dream, instead of dealing with weekly thuds of reality that hit the ground as hard as a McNabb bounce pass to an open wide receiver at a key part of a crucial game.

Fly Away

2009-12-23T11:14:00.000-08:00

Perhaps there is some justice in this world. Merry Christmas, America ...

Balloon boy parents get jail time, tough probation

By P. SOLOMON BANDA, Associated Press Writer P. Solomon Banda, Associated Press Writer 10 mins ago

FORT COLLINS, Colo. – The parents who carried out the balloon boy hoax were sentenced to jail Wednesday and given strict probation conditions that forbid them from earning any money from the spectacle for four years.

Richard Heene was sentenced to 90 days in jail, including 60 days of work release that will let him pursue his job as a construction contractor while serving his time. His wife, Mayumi, was sentenced to 20 days in jail.

Richard Heene choked back tears as he said he was sorry, especially to the rescue workers who chased down false reports that his 6-year-old son had floated away in a balloon on Oct. 15. It was a stunt designed to generate attention for a reality TV show.

"I do want to reiterate that I'm very, very sorry. And I want to apologize to all the rescue workers out there, and the people that got involved in the community. That's it," said Richard Heene, whose wife did not speak at the hearing.

Larimer County District Judge Stephen Schapanski then ordered Heene to begin a 30-day jail term on Jan. 11, delaying the start of the sentence for two weeks so he can spend the holidays with his family. Schapanski allowed Heene to serve the remaining 60 days of his jail term under work release, meaning he can work during the day but spend his nights in jail.

The Heenes' probation will be revoked if they are found to be profiting from any book, TV, movie or other deals related to the stunt.

"This, in simple terms, was an elaborate hoax that was devised by Mr. and Mrs. Heene," the judge said.

The Heenes pleaded guilty to charges that they carried out the balloon hoax, with deals that called for up to 90 days in jail for the husband and 60 days for his wife.

Schapanski ordered Mayumi Heene to serve 20 days in jail after her husband completes his sentence. Her time served is flexible — she can report to jail on 10 weekends, for example — so the children are cared for, the judge said.

Prosecutors asked for the maximum sentence for the husband, saying that a message needs to be sent to promoters who attempt to carry out hoaxes to generate publicity. Chief Deputy District Attorney Andrew Lewis also asked for full restitution to reimburse authorities for the cost of investigating the hoax — an amount that could exceed $50,000.

"People around the world were watching this unfold," he said. "Mr. Heene wasted a lot of manpower and a lot of money in wanting to get himself some publicity."

He added, "Jay Leno said it best when he said, 'This is copycat game.' And people will copycat this event. (The Heenes) need to go to jail so people don't do that."

He portrayed the Heenes as growing increasingly desperate as their pitches for a reality TV show kept getting turned down by networks — and the family fell deeper into a financial hole. Lewis said the Heenes set in motion the balloon hoax in early October as a way to jumpstart the effort and get some attention.

They chose Oct. 15 because the weather was cooperating and the kids were home for school with parent-teacher conferences, allowing the Heenes to report that 6-year-old Falcon had floated away, Lewis said.

Once the parents were brought in for questioning, Richard Heene feigned sleep during the lie-detector test, claiming it was some sort of diabetic episode, Lewis said.

David Lane, Richard Heene's attorney, pleaded for leniency with the judge and said that the couple "have learned a lesson they will never forget for the rest of their lives." He also said that if someone has to go to jail, let it be Richard Heene and not his wife.

"That is his plea. That would be something of a Christmas miracle if that can occur," he said.

White Christmas

2009-12-19T19:45:00.000-08:00

Dreaming of a white Christmas?
Well, you got it. Deal with the consequences.
And do the "Christian" thing, if you dare. Shovel an elderly person's driveway, stay off the road unless it's emergency so that PennDOT can do its thing, etc.
Have a merry one!

Midnight Confessions

2009-12-14T07:50:00.000-08:00

Gulp!
The first time it happened, I thought it was an involuntary reaction. I felt ashamed, but dismissed it as such.
It happened again, so I better come clean.
I'm cheering when Michael Vick scores a touchdown, or makes a big play -- neither of which was happened much through the fist two-thirds of the Eagles season.
Do I still wish they never signed him? Yes.
But since he's here, what the hay ...

Oh Well

2009-11-20T09:07:00.001-08:00

Snubbed again ...
Johnny Depp named the Sexiest Man Alive.
Just wait 'til next year!

That's Amore

2009-11-02T10:09:00.000-08:00

One more that didn't make the cut with my 11/1 column:

My high school crush? Italian.

Overall, I'm encouraged by the outpouring of support I'm now getting from the silent majority -- including many Italian-Americans -- since I set the record straight.

Carry on.

Hells Bells

2009-10-26T11:01:00.000-07:00

Any questions? We'll start with the right side of the aisle, once permission is granted from the lobbyist puppeteers ...

Healthcare system wastes up to $800 billion a year

By Maggie Fox, Health and Science Editor Maggie Fox, Health And Science Editor Mon Oct 26, 10:53 am ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The U.S. healthcare system is just as wasteful as President Barack Obama says it is, and proposed reforms could be paid for by fixing some of the most obvious inefficiencies, preventing mistakes and fighting fraud, according to a Thomson Reuters report released on Monday.

The U.S. healthcare system wastes between $505 billion and $850 billion every year, the report from Robert Kelley, vice president of healthcare analytics at Thomson Reuters, found.

"America's healthcare system is indeed hemorrhaging billions of dollars, and the opportunities to slow the fiscal bleeding are substantial," the report reads.

"The bad news is that an estimated $700 billion is wasted annually. That's one-third of the nation's healthcare bill," Kelley said in a statement.

"The good news is that by attacking waste we can reduce healthcare costs without adversely affecting the quality of care or access to care."

One example -- a paper-based system that discourages sharing of medical records accounts for 6 percent of annual overspending.

"It is waste when caregivers duplicate tests because results recorded in a patient's record with one provider are not available to another or when medical staff provides inappropriate treatment because relevant history of previous treatment cannot be accessed," the report reads.

Some other findings in the report from Thomson Reuters, the parent company of Reuters:

* Unnecessary care such as the overuse of antibiotics and lab tests to protect against malpractice exposure makes up 37 percent of healthcare waste or $200 to $300 billion a year.

* Fraud makes up 22 percent of healthcare waste, or up to $200 billion a year in fraudulent Medicare claims, kickbacks for referrals for unnecessary services and other scams.

* Administrative inefficiency and redundant paperwork account for 18 percent of healthcare waste.

* Medical mistakes account for $50 billion to $100 billion in unnecessary spending each year, or 11 percent of the total.

* Preventable conditions such as uncontrolled diabetes cost $30 billion to $50 billion a year.

"The average U.S. hospital spends one-quarter of its budget on billing and administration, nearly twice the average in Canada," reads the report, citing dozens of other research papers.

"American physicians spend nearly eight hours per week on paperwork and employ 1.66 clerical workers per doctor, far more than in Canada," it says, quoting a 2003 New England Journal of Medicine paper by Harvard University researcher Dr. Steffie Woolhandler.

Yet primary care doctors are lacking, forcing wasteful use of emergency rooms, for instance, the report reads.

All this could help explain why Americans spend more per capita and the highest percentage of GDP on healthcare than any other OECD country, yet has an unhealthier population with more diabetes, obesity and heart disease and higher rates of neonatal deaths than other developed nations.

Democratic Senator Charles Schumer said on Sunday that Senate Democratic leaders are close to securing enough votes to pass legislation to start reform of the country's $2.5 trillion healthcare system.

Fun, Fun, Fun

2009-10-26T10:50:00.000-07:00

In line with this past week's column, how about this for falling for a hoax?:

Limbaugh falls for Obama thesis hoax - but is in no Rush to apologize

BY Michael Saul
NEW YORK DAILY NEWS POLITICAL CORRESPONDENT

And still no apology.

Even when conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh runs with a fabricated story, he doesn't apologize for the error.

Limbaugh, who seizes on every opportunity to blast (Barack) Obama, ended up with egg on his face when he read an Internet satire piece that claimed President Obama dissed the Constitution in his college thesis at Columbia University.

A transcript of his Friday broadcast remains Sunday at the top of Limbaugh's web page under the headline, "Obama's Disdain for Constitution: We Know He Thinks It, Don't We? When we discover a hoax, we correct it immediately."

But apologize? You betcha there's none.

Limbaugh sounded off Friday on a supposed report that Time magazine reporter Joe Klein had unearthed Obama's college thesis, titled "Aristocracy Reborn," in which he sounded off on the nation's Founding Fathers and the Constitution and the distribution of wealth.

The only problem - the report was pure fiction.

The original post with the fabricated details about Obama's college thesis was written as a satire on a humor blog.
An obscure blogger, Michael Leeden, mistakenly picked it BYup, reporting the satirical post as fact, and then Limbaugh ran with it on his national radio show Friday.

Leeden has since apologized.

Limbaugh? Not so much.

In fact, he says, why the President never said what the hoax claimed, "we know he thinks it."

"So here is who we have as our president of the United States: an anti-constitutionalist man who finds it an obstacle and is finding ways around it on purpose, unconstitutionally," Limbaugh said on his show.

"Much of what he's doing is unconstitutional, and I'm waiting for the lawsuits to be filed by some of these people at some point," Limbaugh added. "How is that hope and change working out for ya, folks?"

Later in the same program, when Limbaugh learned the report was a hoax, he corrected the record, alerting listeners that the quotes from the thesis had been fabricated. But he insisted the fabricated thesis was still in line with what the president thinks.

"So I shout from the mountaintops: 'It was satire!'" Limbaugh said on the program. "But we know he (Obama) thinks it. Good comedy, to be comedy, must contain an element of truth, and we know how he feels about distribution of wealth."

Limbaugh said he has license to go with the fabrication because other members of the media have done this to him.
"So, I can say, "I don't care if these quotes are made up," he said. "I know Obama thinks it.

"You know why I know Obama thinks it? Because I've heard him say it."

The fabricated thesis pokes fun at the president's position on economic freedom.

"The so-called Founders did not allow for economic freedom," the satire on Obama's thesis says.

"While political freedom is supposedly a cornerstone of the document, the distribution of wealth is not even mentioned. While many believed that the new Constitution gave them liberty, it instead fitted them with the shackles of hypocrisy."

In a post Friday, Time's Joe Klein says the report is false.

"A report is circulating among the wingnuts that I had a peek at Barack Obama's senior thesis. It is completely false," he wrote. "I've never seen Obama's thesis. I have no idea where this report comes from--but I can assure you that it's complete nonsense."

Find Your Way Back

2009-10-07T08:57:00.000-07:00

Maybe good wins in the end after all ...

AP Poll: Health care overhaul has a pulse

By RICARDO ALONSO-ZALDIVAR and TREVOR TOMPSON, Associated Press Writers Ricardo Alonso-zaldivar And Trevor Tompson, Associated Press Writers 1 hr 22 mins ago

WASHINGTON – The fever has broken. The patient is out of intensive care. But if you're President Barack Obama, you can't stop pacing the waiting room. Health care overhaul is still in guarded condition.

The latest Associated Press-GfK poll has found that opposition to Obama's health care remake dropped dramatically in just a matter of weeks. Still, Americans remain divided over complex legislation that Democrats are advancing in Congress.

The public is split 40-40 on supporting or opposing the health care legislation, the poll found. An even split is welcome news for Democrats, a sharp improvement from September, when 49 percent of Americans said they opposed the congressional proposals and just 34 percent supported them.

Anger about health care boiled over during August. Lawmakers returning home for town hall meetings faced outcries that the government was trying to take over the system, ushering in higher costs, lower quality — even rationing and euthanasia.

"It's very significant that there's an upturn in support for the plans because after August there was a sense that the whole effort was beginning to decline and would not come back in terms of public support," said Robert Blendon, a Harvard professor who tracks public opinion on health care.

"Even with this," added Blendon, "the country is still divided over whether or not moving ahead is the right thing to do."

Behind the shift seems to be a growing determination among Democrats that going forward would be better. Meanwhile, political independents don't appear as alarmed about the congressional proposals as they were just a few weeks ago. Still, opponents remain more passionate in their convictions than do supporters.

In a significant change, opposition among older Americans dropped 16 percentage points. Seniors have been concerned that Congress would stick them with the bill by cutting Medicare to pay for covering the uninsured. Among the most reliable voters, they were much more wary of the changes than the public as a whole. The gap has narrowed.

The poll found that 68 percent of Democrats support the congressional plans, up from 57 percent in early September. Opposition among independents plunged from 51 percent to 36 percent. However, only 29 percent of independents currently support the plans in Congress.

Among seniors, opposition fell from 59 percent in September to 43 percent now. Almost four in 10, 38 percent, now support it, compared with 31 percent in September.

It Don't Come Easy

2009-10-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if the Phillies will get past the Colorado Rockies, who happened to be entering the playoffs on a hot streak, in the first round. But I do know this: It will go the full five games. On what do I base this prognostication? Because Game 5 would be next Tuesday (Oct. 13), in Philadelphia, which happens to be the same night four of us are going to the Bruce Springsteen concert. Even if the Phils play in the afternoon, it's going to be chaos down there.

Birthday

2009-09-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

I couldn't let today -- Sept. 23, 2009 -- pass without wishing my main man, Bruce Springsteen, a happy birthday.
It was 60 years ago that he was "Born In The U.S.A."
May all of us be just a little more like you, Bruce. The world would be a better place.

Sad Eyes

2009-09-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

This had to be a tough week for the Republican Media Blitzkrieg — no matter what spin cycle they tried to use.

First, their loathed biracial liberal president, Barack Obama, sends "subliminal socialist messages" to America's schoolchildren. Ouch. Then, he dares to hit one out of the park when addressing Congress on health care. Some moronic congressman from South Carolina further embarrasses the right by spontaneously combusting and yelling out a brilliant "you lie" (this, from the party that fed us the "weapons of mass destruction" folly). As a result, his November opponent has gained traction. Sweet ... another seat for the good guys.

Meanwhile, Sonia Sotomayor — a Hispanic female — takes her place on the U.S. Supreme Court, where we can only hope she proves she is wiser than white males.

The cherry on top? Sept. 11 comes and Obama vows to hunt down al-Qaida. What's the world coming to? Nothing to grab on to — at all.

The world, or at least our corner of it, has clearly turned — to the left.

Nothing you can do about it, except watch the Faux News Network and keep on kidding yourselves at those laughable Tea Parties that make Star Trek conventions look like where the hip crowd hangs out.

Live And Let Die

2009-09-02T10:57:00.001-07:00

Do we really need minute-by-minute updates on the condition of the Lockerbie bomber?

He shouldn't have been let out of prison and allowed to return to a heroe's welcome, but he was -- under some "mercy" policy in Scotland Iisn't it still part of the U.K.?) -- because was terminally ill.

He will die, and let us all hope it is painful.

Let us know when it happens, so we can rejoice.

Other than that, leave it alone. No updates on his worsening condition; no coverage of his funeral.

Poison Arrow

2009-08-21T09:08:00.000-07:00

Nice Job, FOX News! Rush Limbaugh! Deceive the people. Very patriotic -- not!

Read the following in disgust, but may a light bulb turn on above your head at least half the way through ...

FACT CHECK: Health overhaul myths taking root

FACT CHECK: Poll finds health overhaul myths gaining traction, fabled 'death panels' included

By Calvin Woodward, Associated Press Writer
On Wednesday August 19, 2009, 9:29 pm EDT

President Barack Obama's lack of a detailed plan for overhauling health care is letting critics fill in the blanks in the public's mind. In reality, Washington is not working on "death panels" or nationalization of health care.

To be sure, presenting Congress and the country with the nuts and bolts of a revamped system of health insurance is no guarantee of success for a president -- just ask Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton. Their famous flop was demonized, too. After all, the devil does lurk in details.

It can also lurk in generalities, it seems.

Obama is promoting his changes in something of a vacuum, laying out principles, goals and broad avenues, some of which he's open to amending. As lawmakers sweat the nitty gritty, he's doing a lot of listening, and he's getting an earful.

A new NBC News poll suggests some of the myths and partial truths about the plans under consideration are taking hold.

Most respondents said the effort is likely to lead to a "government takeover of the health care system" and to public insurance for illegal immigrants. Half said it will probably result in taxpayers paying for abortions and nearly that many expected the government will end up with the power to decide when treatment should stop for old people.

A look at each of those points:

THE POLL: 45 percent said it's likely the government will decide when to stop care for the elderly; 50 percent said it's not likely.

THE FACTS: Nothing being debated in Washington would give the government such authority. Critics have twisted a provision in a House bill that would direct Medicare to pay for counseling sessions about end-of-life care, living wills, hospices and the like if a patient wants such consultations with a doctor. They have said, incorrectly, that the elderly would be required to have these sessions.

House Republican Leader John Boehner of Ohio said such counseling "may start us down a treacherous path toward government-encouraged euthanasia."

The bill would prohibit coverage of counseling that presents suicide or assisted suicide as an option.

Republican Sen. Johnny Isakson of Georgia, who has been a proponent of coverage for end-of-life counseling under Medicare, said such sessions are a voluntary benefit, strictly between doctor and patient, and it was "nuts" to think death panels are looming or euthanasia is part of the equation.

But as fellow conservatives stepped up criticism of the provision, he backed away from his defense of it.

THE POLL: 55 percent expect the overhaul will give coverage to illegal immigrants; 34 percent don't.

THE FACTS: The proposals being negotiated do not provide coverage for illegal immigrants.

THE POLL: 54 percent said the overhaul will lead to a government takeover of health care; 39 percent disagree.

THE FACTS: Obama is not proposing a single-payer system in which the government covers everyone, like in Canada or some European countries. He says that direction is not right for the U.S. The proposals being negotiated do not go there.

At issue is a proposed "exchange" or "marketplace" in which a new government plan would be one option for people who aren't covered at work or whose job coverage is too expensive. The exchange would offer some private plans as well as the public one, all of them required to offer certain basic benefits.

That's a long way from a government takeover. But when Obama tells people they can just continue with the plans they have now if they are happy with them, that can't be taken at face value, either. Tax provisions could end up making it cheaper for some employers to pay a fee to end their health coverage, nudging some patients into a public plan with different doctors and benefits. Over time, critics fear, the public plan could squeeze private insurers out of business because they would not be able to compete with the federal government.

It's unclear now whether Obama is committed to the public option. He described it recently as "just one sliver" of health reform, suggesting it was expendable if lawmakers could agree on another way to expand affordable coverage. Now the White House is emphasizing his strong support for it.

THE POLL: 50 percent expect taxpayer dollars will be used to pay for abortions; 37 percent don't.

THE FACTS: The House version of legislation would allow coverage for abortion in the public plan. But the procedure would be paid for with dollars from beneficiary premiums, not from federal funds. Likewise, private plans in the new insurance exchange could opt to cover abortion, but no federal subsidies would be used to pay for the procedure.

Opponents say the prohibition on federal money for the procedure is merely a bookkeeping trick and what matters is that Washington would allow abortion to be covered under government-subsidized insurance.

Obama has stated that the U.S. should continue its tradition of "not financing abortions as part of government-funded health care." Current laws prohibiting public financing of abortion would stay on the books.

Yet abortion guidelines are not yet clear for the government-supervised insurance exchange. There is strong sentiment in Congress on both sides of the issue.

The poll of 805 people was taken Aug. 15-17 and has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3.5 percentage points.

When Love and Hate Collide

2009-08-19T05:31:00.000-07:00

Over the years since I became a fan (circa 1970), the number of warriors on an active NFL roster have ranged from 40 to the current requirement of 53. Additionally, assorted others were stashed on the "taxi squad," which is now known as the "practice squad." More players are housed different lists: injured reserve, physically unable to perform, a note from their mother, etc.

In a given year, there could be as many as 60 Eagles getting paid.

As a hopelessly devoted fan, do you have to love them all — either as people or players — to still love the team?

Throw in other employees — prominent faces of the organization — and list grows.

It's going to be hard to cheer for Michael Vick this year just because he is now an Eagle. A midnight green jersey doesn't wash away all sins. What he did to countless dogs was beyond reprehensible. In a perfect world, he would have been placed behind bars for 20 years and not 20 months, making him too old to play football upon release. I would have had no gripes with the league banning him for life.

But the world isn't perfect. He is out of jail and not banned by the NFL. He was free to earn a living and, in this altered reality, the Eagles — my beloved Eagles — took the plunge before another team, maybe even the rival Washington Redskins, did.

If and when Donovan McNabb begins a game in one of his patented 2-for-9 modes, where he is throwing bounce passes and wasting timeouts — and smiling about it — will I be clamoring for Vick to come off the bench and ignite them as much as the next Iggles diehard?

I can sit here now, perched upon my high horse, and say no. But I become another person on game day and I can't vouch for him.

I do know this: I have loathed many others drawing paychecks from the Eagles before and have never wavered in my overall support of the team.

Submitted for your approval of this outlook, which is that you can harbor disdain for certain players/employees and still cheer for team, is the following list of a few such individuals:

- Thomas Hamner/Damon Moore: Irony of ironies, both of these guys — Eagles in the Andy Reid era of holiness — were shown the exit door after being mean to dogs. I already disliked Hamner because the Eagles drafted the tailback out of Minnesota instead of Utah's Mike Anderson, the former Marine who had a solid career in Denver (while Hamner never carried the ball once in a regular season game). After his second arrest for beating his dogs, the Eagles cut their losses and severed ties to the underachiever. Moore was a better player. A starting safety, he made the game-saving tackle that procured Reid's first division title here. But his image was already tainted by then, as he had been caught trying to abandon his dog in a park a week or two earlier. Even though he recorded an interception in a playoff game, a win at Chicago, he was gone at year's end. I remember that game well. There was a snowstorm in Philly and I took a train to my dad's house to watch the Birds punch their ticket to their first trip to the NFC title game under Reid's guidance. I already disliked Moore for what he had to his dog, but I was still floating on air after the win. When the season was over following a heartbreaking loss to the St. Louis Rams, Moore was no longer an Eagle. They never said it was because of his transgression, but ...

- Ray Rhodes: This guy was the first coach owner Jeffrey Lurie hired after enduring holdover Rich Kotite (not on this list, as I don't pick on those with special needs) for a year. After making the playoffs the first two years — mostly with Kotite's players — Rhodes' Eagles slowly devolved into the most disorganized teams in green I remember. My anger and resentment deepened because the media, local and national, treated the situation with kid gloves because Rhodes was one of the league's few black coaches at the time. I distinctly remember a game when the Eagles had a plethora of laughable penalties — for things like too many men on the field and illegal formations — and the national announcers felt compelled to preface their critique with remarks like: "As good of a coach as Ray Rhodes is, he needs to cut down on this stuff." Black, white, yellow or green — he was in over his head. To be blunt, his skin color may have even bought him an extra year or two. The only way to rid ourselves of Rhodes was to lose games. But I still wanted them to win. In his final year, 1998, the Eagles were 3-13 and Koy Detmer was the quarteraback for the final few games. I still didn't miss a snap the entire season.

- Greg Lewis/Bobby Hoying: I group these guys together even though they were never teammates (Hoying was Rhodes' miscast "quarterback of the future" and Lewis seemingly had nude pictures of Reid, or maybe even team president Joe Banner, to continue earning a roster spot before being mercifully being traded away this offseason). They share one commonality. They each cost a Jewish player a job. Hoying — with farm-boy looks and Ohio State pedigree — created a sense that he was a more viable option than Jay Fiedler, an undrafted guy with "Dumbo" ears and ... uh ... a prominent nose, who hailed from that football juggernaut known as Dartmouth of the vaunted Ivy League. After Hoying got a bunch of snaps in a preseason scrimmage, Fiedler — knowing he was the better player — angrily asked for his release and his wish was granted. And Fiedler got the final laugh, both on the Eagles and Hoying, having a serviceable career as a starting QB in Miami while Hoying was eventually released by the Eagles — and one or two other teams — and probably now works at a car wash somewhere. Lewis picked the right team when he went undrafted out of Illinois, as the Reid regime has a fetish for undrafted guys making the final cut. After some early promise — that included a diving touchdown catch in the Super Bowl — Lewis hit a ceiling and it became clear that he was never going to get any better than below average. Two seasons ago, sensing his job was in jeopardy, he whispered to the coaches that he could return punts. Jeremy Bloom was cut in deference to Lewis (the nude pics, remember?) and disaster ensued. In the season opener, Lewis fumbled a punt that led to a touchdown and muffed another (Bloom, although doing anything out of the ordinary, had not dropped a punt the whole preseason). By game's end, with the scored tied at 10-10, the Eagles desperately turned to J.R. Reed. Reed, who had no experience catching punts, also fumbled and the Packers won the game. The Eagles finished 8-8, one win from the same playoff dance the Packers were attending. Lewis went from a player I didn't really like much to one I despised. The ineptitude continued when he dropped a pass that might have shifted momentum early in last season's NFC title game. And still, while detesting Lewis, I cheered for the Eagles and was heartbroken after the eventual loss to an inferior Arizona team.

- Ron Howard: This one is personal. Howard was the team's former PR executive, who dealt directly with the media back when being an Eagles' beat writer was my life's dream. Dating back to my old job, a co-worker requested a pass to game to do a story on a local product playing for the Colts. Howard bluntly told him that no passes were given to weekly papers. Once I moved on to The Times Herald, the tune was slightly different — but the arrogance remained. I was assigned to write a story on a local kid playing for the New England Patriots, who were in town for a preseason game. A chance to just feign being a beat writer for a night was beyond exciting. Howard reluctantly agreed to a game-day pass but said he wouldn't have a seat for me in the press box (meaning I'd have to wander around like a nomad or sit in the cafeteria with a bunch of free loaders from television stations who weren't even on the clock). When I went to the game, all wide-eyed and bushy-tailed, half the seats in the press box were empty. Oh, and among those occupied were for the Philadelphia Sun, a weekly paper. The writer from the Sun came late — with a date, who sat on press row — and he didn't seem to be writing anything. But that's OK. I made the most of the experience, taking the Veterans Stadium elevator down to the field at the end of the game in time to watch Fiedler seal a win. I interviewed some Eagles players for a side bar on the rookies and located the local kid for the Patriots outside the team's bus. I put aside my bitterness for how I was treated and continued being a loyal, dues-paying fan who was willingly extorted into a personal seat license at Lincoln Financial Field. As for Howard, he and the team suffered a PR nightmare 1998 when his wife, Karen, struck and killed someone changing a flat tire on I-76 after a game. It was an unfortunate accident, and anyone who hasn't come precariously close to striking someone on the side of the road has led a charmed life. However, Mrs. Howard stopped briefly and then drove off and tried to get her car's damaged fixed and its exterior washed — while getting her nails and hair done — in the ensuing days. If I were mean-spirited, I could have fantasized about telling Ron Howard he could have a pass to visit his wife in jail, but not a seat. But you all know me better than that, right?

- James Lofton: It should be hard to build up much animosity toward a guy who only played nine games as an Eagle back in 1993, but Lofton — one of the great wide receivers of the 1980s with other teams— raised my ire to a point that we still have a posse out on the streets looking for him. He came to the Eagles at the tail end of his career, and with more than 700 NFL catches to his name. In nine games here, he seemingly had about 700 drops — including a few that cost us games. Hey, James, go deteriorate on someone's dime and time, not ours. I could see a guy's speed going, but the hands? Just shows a lack of concentration, of not caring anymore. And yet, despite despising Lofton and what he represented, I still rooted for the Eagles.

- Dave Spadaro: Let me preface by saying that we're talking about a genuinely nice guy. When I was at my old job, Dave freelanced for The Times Herald and we covered some high school football games together. At the time, I remember him saying he had left his job at the newspaper in West Chester for a start-up venture called Eagles Digest, which was a weekly publication for us fans. In the intervening years, Eagles Digest morphed into PhiladelphiaEagles.com and Spadaro has been elevated to the post of the franchise's minister of propaganda. His complete lack of objectivity and constant spin control — even if he is an employee of the team — has led me to fantasize about starting up an opposing site called EaglesSkeptic.com (or something like that). I don't know how much Dave gets paid, but I hope it was worth the price of his soul. And still, in spite of my disgust whenever I go the site in search of information, I'm still behind the Eagles all the way.

- Reggie White: It's easy to hate guys once they fly from the nest (Keith Jackson, anyone?), but my disdain for this sacred crow was burgeoning well before he followed God's advice — and the highest bidder — and went to Green Bay. White was propagated as the best to ever play defensive end; a superstar who was supposed to dominate when it counted most. Instead, in big games, he consistently pulled disappearing acts that would have made Harry Houdini blush. Against better offensive tackles, and in spite of the myths, he was generally handled without double teams. I heard through good sources that former defensive coordinator Bud Carson couldn't stand White because he took plays off to concerve the energy to get his sacks on obvious passing downs. In his final season here, the Eagles started off 7-2 and White filed a lawsuit against the team to set the stage for his pending free agency. They finished 7-9. You don't forgive, you don't forget. I'm not going to ease up my stance just because he died young. Maybe his Lord works in mysterious ways after all. And yet, during my about-face on White — an amazing player I liked during his first two to three years here — I remained a faithful and loyal fan.

- Andy Reid: This is my team, as it was the team of my father and my grandfather. Same holds true for all loyal fans. Players come and go. So do owners and, most certainly, coaches. Someone please explain this to Coach Reid, who thinks he was named to the run the CIA when he took the job here in 1999. We have a right to know. The job of the media is to be that conduit to the fanbase. Being a devotee and a journalist, it hurts twice as much to watch Reid in all his pomposity. You don't have to dime out your players. There is right way and a wrong way to do things, and no one sane is asking you to create disharmony by ripping players in public. But be upfront and give us the explanations we deserve when our hearts have been ripped out of our chests. While no one can knock Reid's success, it's looking like the final curtain looms. As with the far less competent Rhodes, losing will hasten change. And yet, I will root for wins. Not because of Reid, but because of the team he is coaching. It is who I am. One coach, player or employee is not going to change that.

Only Time Will Tell

2009-08-13T18:42:00.000-07:00

His name was Randall.

Of all the pets I've loved before, none will take his place.

For those of you unfamiliar with this well-told tale, I adopted this black lab mix off death row at the Philadelphia SPCA with a mere 10 minutes to spare in December of 1990.

His life in the six months before the arriving at the shelter was on the mean streets. He came into their care with bruises that had yet to fully heal when I took him home.

He lived always ready to defend himself, or those of us in his pack, but willing to show the unconditional love that made him -- like many dogs -- special.

If he had not been gathered up and brought into the shelter by ambulance, a likely fate would have been as a bait dog for those who somehow justify their existence by raising fighting dogs.

For all I know, that may have already been the case and he had escaped.

Regardless, he didn't have to worry about all that anymore. Until he passed away at the age of 16 1/2 (really, really old for a dog), he was treated like the prince he was.

Naming him Randall was a natural. Randall Cunningham, in 1990, was in the midst of his best season with my beloved Eagles.

It was the start of a tradition of naming pets, canine or feline, after Eagles' quarterbacks.

I never thought there would ever be a bitter irony in that.

Now, as I find myself faced with a moral dilemma, the irony is so sick and twisted that I'm locked in moral wresling match.

The Eagles -- in whom I've invested time, money, emotion and devotion -- have signed disgraced quarterback Michael Vick, whose name was once synonymous with overpaid superstar and is now better known as the athlete who recklessly oversaw a deadly dog-fighting ring from his pocket pager and cell phone and, from time to time, in person.

That tricky term "moral dilemma" is one I've used before, but now I realize it was with the reckless disregard of a preteen skateboarder zigging and zagging through crosstown traffic at rush hour.

I don't know if I have truly been met with one.

Last summer, with the not-so-subtle urging of hospital personnel unimpressed with the fine print in my father's insurance policy, we were faced with the decision of keeping him alive for a while with no quality of life or opting for "comfort care."

Fortunately, my father was lucid enough to make his decision.

But that was more of a head-versus-heart scenario anyway.

When our long-held moral stances are put to the test, the game changes.

Decisions that are out of our hands leave us with toughest choices.

It was just the other day, while catching up with someone from high school on Facebook, I joked that my personal Holy Trinity -- not counting family, of course -- consisted of Bruce Springsteen, "The Sopranos" and the Eagles.

But what if Bruce Springsteen suddenly donned a Hitler mustache, a swastika and starting goose-stepping around the stage?

What if it was revealed that the makers of "The Sopranos" were mocking us with their scripts?

And what if the Eagles -- so desperate to bring hard-core, long-suffering fans like myself that elusive Super Bowl crown -- signed a person whose inhuman and illegal treatment of animals made him less than human in my eyes?

I have a deep love for animals that began well before Randall's adoption during the first week I was "on my own" in the world.

My wife and I have already begun sharing that with our 2 1/2-year-old daughter, Sofia, taking her to zoos and reserves whenever possible. She sleeps with a growing collection of stuffed animals.

She will surely carry the torch for us, as she already has a special bond with our two cats -- Donovan (as in McNabb) and Ty (as in Detmer).

Randall died before she was born, but his spirit lives in a house that remains open to four-legged creatures with tails.

It's also a house where our schedule from September to Super Bowl Sunday revolves around the Eagles.

But what kind of example will I be setting as a diehard Eagles' fan yelling to put Vick in the game to ignite the offense?

If I could give you an answer now, I'd only be lying.

I get pretty emotional once my game face is on.

It's all or nothing at all.

I had a dog like that, too.

His name was Randall.

Of all the pets I've loved before, none will take his place.

Spinning Wheel

2009-08-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

I began this week vowing to eat healthier.

But I'm already sick to my stomach -- and it's only Monday.

The spin doctors are out in full force.

CNN is overwrought with ads from special interest groups spewing mountains of misinformation about the health care bill that awaits our elected misleaders once they return from the type of month-long summer vacation they have over in France (the No. 1 place in the world for wine, love and health care).

I'm sure these ads, like termites to rotting wood, are all over the radio airwaves (a great way to scare our seniors) and other all-news channels and network television.

Meanwhile, one of the most sickening propaganda sites on the Internet -- PhiladelphiaEagles.com -- has declared Sunday night's Flight Night a "success."

Oh really?

During this split-squad scrimmage -- under the lights at Lincoln Financial Field (primarily for losers who believe they lost out by not going to Blue-White games because they didn't go to Penn State) -- the Eagles lost their pro-bowl caliber middle linebacker Stewart Bradley for the season with a knee injury.

There go my hopes for the Super Bowl I long to see just once before I die.

And the song goes on ...

"What goes up must come down
Spinnin' wheel got to go 'round
Talkin' 'bout your troubles it's a cryin' sin
Ride a painted pony let the spinnin' wheel spin

You got no money and you got no home
Spinnin' wheel all alone
Talkin' 'bout your troubles and you never learn
Ride a painted pony let the spinnin' wheel turn

Did you find the directing sign on the
Straight and narrow highway
Would you mind a reflecting sign
Just let it shine within your mind
And show you the colors that are real

Someone is waiting just for you
Spinnin' wheel, spinnin' true

The Boys Of Summer

2009-07-17T07:02:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not have read in the 7/19/09 print edition of The Times Herald, the definitive all-time All-Jewish Baseball Team has been named.

Let all other incomplete efforts to do the same -- die a quick, albeit painful, death on the Internet.

Since that time, we have learned that we will be playing our home games in the town of boychick-friendly Great Neck, Long Island.

We have also put in a request to play no home games until the weather warms up in mid-May. Oy!

Here is player/manager Lou Boudreau's projected starting lineup for opening day, which we are fearing will be against the All-German team led by Mike Schmidt and Lou Gehrig at the corners. I encourage any naysayers to visit baseballreference.com for stats.

1) Buddy Myer, 2b

- Ian Kinsler, currently of the Texas Rangers, will split time here and bat first as well. Even though it is rumored that Myer made a deathbed confession that he wasn't really Jewish, the fact that he brawled over alleged anti-Semitic remarks says otherwise. His 17 years in the bigs, an all-time best for Jewish players, earns him the opening day nod. Also, reports that former New York Yankee Joe Gordon was a Jew who kept his heritage hush-hush could not be confirmed beyond a first source, so he is not on the team. If someone out there could prove otherwise, we'd love to add him to a mix that is not exactly awash in middle infielders.

2) Shawn Green, RF

- Seems like an odd place in the batting order for a guy who has 49-homer season on his résumé, but because we're not going to be running a lot, we like the idea of a guy pulling the ball to the right side batting second to avoid double plays.

3) Lou Boudreau, SS

- This team would be hurting, big-time, without Boudreau's confirmed Jewish bloodlines. The All-French squad has officially sued for his rights, but our team's lawyers are all over it. The frogs better leap on another shortstop.

4) Hank Greenberg, DH

- One of the best RBI men in baseball history and a two-time AL MVP. Not much more needs to be said.

5) Al Rosen, 3B

- In case they pitch around Greenberg, we have his protégé -- the 1953 AL MVP -- up next.

6) Kevin Youkilis, 1B

- A current standout with the Red Sox. We are able to get him into the lineup because Greenberg, who was never too great with the glove, can be the designated hitter.

7) Sid Gordon, CF

- Not quite a Cooperstown-level guy, but had a real solid career in the era following World War II.

8) Ryan Bruan, LF

- Another current standout whose full baseball story has yet to be written.

9) Harry Danning, C

- Like Gordon, Danning was a solid all-star level player. He gets the opening day nod over Mike Lieberthal, but they will alternate behind the dish while Brad Ausmus -- a three-time Gold Glove winner -- serves as a late-inning defensive replacement. Instead of sending the weak-hitting Moe Berg to the minors, we will put his intellect to use assisting Boudreau by trying to steal signals as a bench coach. Should be a snap against the All-Polish team, huh?

Starting Pitcher) Sandy Koufax

- Who else but the most dominant lefty of all-time? He'll be followed in the rotation by three 20-game winners: Erskine Mayer, Ken Holtzman, Steve Stone and a 19-game winner in Joe Horlen.

The Bench: We have Mike "Super Jew" Epstein (1B), 1906 batting champ George Stone (OF) and Former Phillie Morrie Arnovich (OF) to pinch hit. Don't forget Kinsler, Lieberthal and Ausmus.

The Bullpen: Jason Marquis, in the midst of his best season, is a long reliever and emergency starter. Dave Roberts, who led the National League in ERA in 1971, will serve in the same capacity. We also have turn-of-the-century ace Barney Pelty to eat up some innings. Our lefty-righty combo in the back end of the bullpen is Scott Radinsky and Larry Sherry, who had 20 saves in the pre-closer era.

Our Triple-A affiliate will play its home games in Hollywood, Fla., where big crowds are expected in games played immediately following early-bird special dinners.

Manager Bob Melvin, who will also serve as the third catcher, just received a 25-man roster -- mostly of journeyman types who had a season or two in the sun -- with which to work.

We are going heavy with 11 pitchers, as it will have to be done by committee. Saul Rogovin (best year 1951, with a 12-8 record and 2.78 ERA) is joined by Mike LaCoss (1987, 13-10, 3.68), Barry Latman (1961, 13-5, 4.02), Ross Baumgarten (1979, 13-8, 3.54), Jose Bautista (1993, 10-3, 2.82, Bo Belinsky (1964, 9-8, 2.86) and Harry Feldman (1945, 12-13, 3.27). Current Texas Ranger Scott Feldman, who entered the all-star break at 8-2, is also on a staff that is rounded out by relievers Scott Schoeneweis (2008, 2-6, 3.34), Al Levine (2001, 8-10, 2.38) and John Grabow (2008, 6-3, 2.84). Schoeneweis, who recently suffered the sudden loss of his wife, and Grabow are both still active in the majors.

There are still plenty of catchers to choose from, but we are only going with two (both confirmed converts to Judaism) -- Steve Yeager (1977, .256, 16 HR, 55 RBI) and Jeff Newman (1979, .231, 22 HR, 71 RBI). Newman gets the nod over the likes of longtime major league backup Joe Ginsberg and Norm Sherry, Larry's brother, because he can play some other positions. As you are about to read, that may prove vital.

At first base/designated hitter, we are OK with Ron Blomberg (1973, .329, 12 HR, 57 RBI) and Phil Weintraub (1944, .316, 13 HR, 77 RBI). A case could also be made for Lou Limmer played with the Philadelphia A's and hit a whopping .231 with 14 homers and 32 RBI in their final season in the City of Brotherly Love. For now, we'll let Mr. Limmer go down to our AA team in Owings Mills, Md.

The rest of the infield is a major problem. Andy Cohen (1928, .274, 9 HR, 59 RBI) can play second and some shortstop. We have Jim Levey (1932, .280, 4 HR, 63 RBI) at shortstop. Out of necessity, Jimmie Reese (not his birth name) will have to be our extra middle infielder. He hit .265 with all of 2 home runs and 26 RBI in 1932.

The biggest concern is third base, as we actually took a long look at non-roster invitee Gavin Fingleson, who hit .369 for a team in Taiwan in 2001 and has played for his native Australia in the Olympics, but we have decided to let Elliott Maddox -- an African American who converted to Judaism -- man the hot corner. Maddox was primarily an outfielder in his major league career but did play 114 games one season at third. He also had one real good year for the New York Yankees in 1974, batting .303 and getting some votes for MVP.

This leaves us room for five outfielders. Easy choices are Art Shamsky (1969, .300, 14 HR, 47 RBI), active player Gabe Kapler (2000, .302, 14 HR, 66 RBI) and Benny Kauff, who was called the "Ty Cobb of the Federal League" -- a splinter circuit he twice led in batting. Back in the real league, Kauff hit .308 with 5 HR and 68 RBI in 1917. He was also a nifty base-stealer and Melvin plans to bat him leadoff. The last two spots were more difficult, although kicking Ruben Amaro Jr. (1992, .219, 7 HR, 34 HR) to the front office helped. We ended up keeping Cal Abrams (1953, .286, 15 HR, 43 RBI) and Goody Rosen (1945, .325, 12 HR, 75 RBI). Rosen is unique in that he is from Canada. A current hot prospect, Adam Stern, also hails from the Great White North.

Optioned to AA were Richie Scheinblum (1972, .300, 8 HR, 66 RBI), Guy Zinn (1912, .262, 7 HR, 34 RBI), Dick Sharon (1973, .242, 7 HR, 16 RBI) and utility man David Newhan (2004, .311, 8 HR, 54 RBI) and current Chicago Cub Sam Fuld. Another current major leaguer to watch is pitcher Craig Breslow.

And yes, speaking young guys currently in the minors, almost no roster in this organizaton is secure for posterity. If there is another Sandy Koufax or Hank Greenberg out there, the changes -- and demotions -- will be made.

Any other questions? Concerns? Comments?

You know where to stick them.

Riders On The Storm

2009-06-23T07:28:00.000-07:00

ARE WE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME WATCHING IRAN AND NOT THE COUNTRY THAT REALLY HAS ITS FINGER ON THE TRIGGER OF WORLD WAR III?:

The Associated Press

SEOUL, South Korea – A North Korean ship suspected of carrying illicit weapons cruised through waters off Shanghai on Tuesday en route to Myanmar, a news report said, as regional military officials and a U.S. destroyer kept a close eye on the vessel.

Washington's top military commander in South Korea, meanwhile, warned that the communist regime is bolstering its guerrilla warfare capacity.

Gen. Walter Sharp, who commands the 28,500 U.S. troops positioned in South Korea, said the North could employ roadside bombs and other guerrilla tactics if fighting breaks out again on the Korean peninsula. The two Koreas technically remain at war because their three-year conflict ended in a truce, not a peace treaty, in 1953.

North Korea is believed to have begun boosting its urban, nighttime and special operation capabilities in the wake of the U.S.-led war in Iraq, South Korea's Defense Ministry said. After the U.S. invasion of Iraq, North Korea claimed it would be the next target.

With 1.2 million troops, North Korea's army is one of the world's largest. Some 180,000 are special operation forces.

Last Wednesday, a North Korean-flagged vessel left the port of Nampo and was being trailed by a U.S. destroyer, a U.S. official said. It the first ship being monitored under the U.N. sanctions imposed earlier this month following North Korea's defiant underground nuclear test in May. The new resolution seeks to strengthen efforts to stop North Korea from developing its nuclear and missile programs and selling its technology.

The Kang Nam, accused of transporting illicit goods in the past, is believed to be carrying banned small arms to Myanmar, a South Korean intelligence official said Monday, speaking on condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the information.

However, analysts say a high-seas interception — a move North Korea has said it would consider an act of war — is unlikely.

The resolution calls on U.N. member states to inspect North Korean vessels if they have "reasonable grounds" to believe that its cargo contains banned weapons or materials. But it must first get the consent of the nation whose flag the ship is flying — in this case, North Korea's.

The North, however, is unlikely to allow any inspection of its cargo, said Hong Hyun-ik, an analyst at the Sejong Institute think tank outside Seoul.

If Pyongyang refuses, authorities must direct the vessel to a port. U.N. members have been ordered not to provided suspected ships with services such as fuel.

In Beijing, Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang said China will "strictly observe" and implement the resolution. He urged other nations to also heed the U.N. guidelines.

"Under the current circumstances, we call upon all parties to refrain from acts that might escalate the tension," he said Tuesday.

Singapore, the world's busiest port and a top refueling center, said officials would "act appropriately" if asked to confront a North Korean ship believed to be carrying banned cargo.

"Singapore takes seriously the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, their means of delivery and related materials," a Foreign Affairs Ministry spokesman said Tuesday on condition of anonymity according to ministry policy. "If the allegation is true, Singapore will act appropriately."

The South Korean broadcaster YTN said the ship was traveling in waters 200 nautical miles (230 miles; 370 kilometers) southeast of Shanghai at a speed of about 10 knots (11.5 miles per hour; 18.5 kilometers per hour).

The Kang Nam is expected to dock at Myanmar's Thilawa port, some 20 miles (30 kilometers) south of Yangon, in the next few days, according to the Irrawaddy, an online magazine operated by independent exiled journalists from Myanmar, citing an unidentified port official.

North Korea is believed to have sold guns, artillery and other small weapons to Myanmar, said Kim Jin-moo, an analyst at Seoul's state-run Korea Institute for Defense Analyses.

An American destroyer, the USS John S. McCain, is relatively close to the North Korean vessel but had no orders to intercept it, a senior military official told The Associated Press last week on condition of anonymity.

Meanwhile, the U.S. and North Korea's neighbors were discussing how to deal with the increasingly defiant country amid signs it may be preparing a long-range missile test.

Ambassador Kathleen Stephens said the U.S. "remains willing and eager to engage North Korea" through diplomacy. But she said Washington and its allies have begun outlining defensive measures should the North continue with provocative acts.

"We're committed to do what is necessary to protect" the American people and their allies, she said at a Seoul forum also attended by ambassadors from China, Japan and Russia.

The vice defense ministers of Japan and South Korea also met Tuesday in Seoul, nuclear envoys from South Korea and Russia were slated to hold talks Wednesday in Moscow and a U.S. defense official was in the region for talks this week in Beijing, Seoul and Tokyo.

Everybody Plays The Fool

2009-06-08T10:40:00.000-07:00

It is said that it takes one to know one.

That is good news for me, but not good enough at this moment.

It is of only small comfort that I am not at the level of a carnival huckster working a booth at the recent fair – sponsored by firefighters – in the Eagleville section of Lower Providence Township.

All we have to show for our brief time there Saturday afternoon are three stuffed animals, which are probably worth a combined $15, and a few whirls for Sofia on a rickety carousel — that dripped oil on the kid in front of us — for $100.

When you go to a carnival, you expect to run into “carnies.” Encountering this nomadic tribe is part of the romanticism — kind of like a few weekends back at the Native American pow-wow at Temple University’s Ambler campus, where we were up close and personal with real live “indigenous peoples of the Americas.”

But I never before experienced the type of borderline panhandling from the gap-toothed and unwashed crowd from a company called Reithoffer Shows working the booths Saturday.

Like hookers at Frankford and Kensington avenues in Philadelphia, they called out to us as we passed.

“Hey, Dad, win the little girl a prize,” was a common sales pitch.

If you looked away, you were a snob.

“Come on, where are going?” they would shout.

If you looked back at them, you got reeled in.

Even as we passed the snack stand and peeked in to see what the “food” looked like, I was practically accosted by the guy there asking me what he could get me.

I suppose the rain during the first few days of the “fair” really put these guys behind in their projected sales “nuts,” which I guess is no different for any peddler — from a Saab salesman to an insurance hound to someone trying to get you pop a balloon with darts or a throw a basketball in a net that was about 18-feet high, and probably not even wide enough to hold the ball.

I was rooked into both activities — the basketball toss (I hit the rim and it still didn’t go in) that Lebron James probably couldn’t get on 100 tries and the balloon-pop (you can get a toy, no problem, but at a prohibitive cost) — and learned the hard way that carnivals are not what they used to be (a chance to pick up the type of girl you would meet at a carnival).

The biggest con job came when I thought I’d be clever and cut to the chase. I offered the guy at the balloon-popping concession $10, straight-up, for the stuffed wolf that reminded Sofia of our former dog, Sandy (don’t worry, she’s not dead, just with a family who doesn’t mind having their furniture chewed).

A minute later, after some fast double-talk, he had me playing the game for $10 and winning a ... smaller animal. I eventually got the wolf, but it wasn’t until walking away that I realized it took $30 (he never gave back the original $10 and took another $20 from me to keep “playing up”).

I suppose a fool and his money — i.e. the father of a daddy’s girl — are easily parted, but should a family be subjected to such a series of swindles during what was intended to be a happy little outing?

And should a local fire department be sponsoring an event that left us with such a sour taste in our mouths that my wife said it may be the last time we ever go to a carnival?

Those Were The Days

2009-05-27T10:55:00.001-07:00

And ... Duh?

WASHINGTON (AFP) – US drivers who own a car made overseas are more likely to be satisfied with their purchase than domestic car owners, a poll showed on Tuesday.

Seventy-seven percent of poll respondents who own a foreign car said they were happy with it versus 69 percent of American car owners.

Owners of US-made cars were also less likely than those who own imported vehicles to think the manufacturer of their car will still be in business in three to five years.

Almost nine in 10 -- 87 percent -- of foreign car owners who responded to the poll by Harris Interactive said they thought the company that makes the vehicle they drive will still be in business in three to five years, while among owners of US cars, only 70 percent thought so, the poll showed.

Harris Interactive surveyed 2,401 US adults between April 13-21 for the poll and made the results public on the eve of a bankruptcy court hearing for Chrysler, one of the big three American car dealers together with General Motors and Ford.

Watching The Detectives

2009-05-20T08:43:00.001-07:00

I always love reports like the one you are about to read. Who pays these people to stumble upon the obvious in their studies? Outside of Hollywood overpaying for bad movie scripts, these studies have to be the biggest waste to time and money we have to offer.

Roughly 25 percent of us text-message while driving? Duh? That's just about the correct amount of self-centered dingbats we have in America.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters Life!) – A quarter of American cell phone users admit to texting while driving, despite bans in seven U.S. states and several serious accidents recently, according to a report on cell phone use released on Wednesday.

The report also found that some of the worst driving-while-texting, or DWT, offenders live in states where the practice is already banned or where legislation is pending.

Drivers in Tennessee were the most prolific texters, with 42 percent of those questioned admitting to the habit. A ban on using a cell phone to text while driving goes into effect in Tennessee in July.

Yet 83 percent of the 5,000 people surveyed across the United States said they thought DWT should be illegal. The survey was carried out on behalf of mobile voice technology company Vlingo.

Text messaging has been blamed for a number of recent high profile accidents, including a train crash in the Los Angeles area last September in which 25 people were killed, and a Boston trolley crash this month in which almost 50 people were injured.

In both cases, the drivers were found to have been sending and receiving text messages seconds before the crashes.

"Texting is such an integral component of our daily lives, and the cautionary tales about DWT danger have not stemmed the tide," said Dave Grannan, CEO of Vlingo.

Californication

2009-05-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

Wow! I'm sooooo relieved that "The Donald" has proclaimed that Carrie Prejean could keep her crown as Miss California (even though his holier-than-thou priss-pot posed for naughty pictures as a waif).

On the top of that, Mr. Trump -- who would be one the first people I'd slap in the face (for charity, course) -- defended her answer on gay marriage during the recent Miss U.S.A. pageant that he bankrolls each year.

Yes, my fellow citizens, the world is now safe for Democracy.

I knew there was a reason I was losing sleep lately, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Now, I know.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

2009-05-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

One can't help but cringe that our former president went around holding hands and sucking up to the leaders of this bass-akward "kingdom." Read for yourself:

RIYADH (Reuters) – Saudi Arabia may ban marriage for girls below 18, a government minister said after a case of an eight-year old girl marrying a man more than 40 years her senior drew international criticism and embarrassed the kingdom.

"Among the options that are available and excluding the issue of puberty, is to ban marriage for (people) under 18," Justice Minister Mohammed al-Eissa told Asharq al-Awsat newspaper.

He was responding to a question about his ministry's plan to deal with the marriage of young girls.

"A girl below 18 is often not fit to take the family responsibility especially if she quickly gives birth (after marriage)," he said.

Saudi Arabia is a patriarchal society that applies an ascetic form of Sunni Islam which bans unrelated men and women from mixing and gives fathers the right to wed their sons and daughters to whomever they deem fit.

Many Saudi clerics, including the kingdom's chief cleric Grand Mufti Sheikh Abdul-Aziz Al al-Sheikh, endorse the practice of marrying underage girls, arguing that in doing so they avoid spinsterhood or the temptation of engaging in relationships outside the wedlock.

A 50-year old man in the small Saudi town of Onaiza agreed this week to divorce his eight year-old bride.

Financial considerations could prompt some Saudi families to wed their underage daughters to much older men.

Hold On (I'm Coming)

2009-04-28T10:01:00.000-07:00

Specter says he's switching from GOP to Dems (see below for G2's spin):

By DAVID ESPO, AP Special Correspondent David Espo, Ap Special Correspondent 1 min ago

WASHINGTON – Veteran Republican Sen. Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania disclosed plans Tuesday to switch parties, a move intended to boost his chances of winning re-election next year that also will push Democrats within one seat of a 60-vote filibuster-resistant majority.

"I now find my political philosophy more in line with Democrats than Republicans," Specter said in a statement posted on a Web site devoted to Pennsylvania politics and confirmed by his office. Several Senate officials said a formal announcement was expected later in the day or Wednesday.

President Barack Obama called Specter almost immediately after he was informed of the decision to say the Democratic Party was "thrilled to have you," according to a White House official.

Specter, 79 and in his fifth term, is one of a handful of Republican moderates remaining in Congress in a party now dominated by conservatives. Several officials said secret talks that preceded his decision reached into the White House, involving both Obama and Vice President Joseph Biden, a longtime colleague in the Senate. Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell as well as Democratic leaders in Congress also were involved, added the officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to disclose details.

With Specter, Democrats would have 59 Senate seats. Democrat Al Franken is ahead in a marathon recount in Minnesota, and if he ultimately wins his race against Republican Norm Coleman, he would become the party's 60th vote. That is the number needed to overcome a filibuster.

Specter faced an extraordinarily difficult re-election challenge in his home state in 2010, having first to confront a challenge from his right in the Republican primary before pivoting to a general

Specter has long been one of the most durable politicians of either party in Pennsylvania. In recent years, he has battled Hodgkin's disease, a cancer of the lymphatic system, but maintains a busy schedule that includes daily games of squash.

As one of the most senior Republicans in the Senate, Specter held powerful positions on the Judiciary and Appropriations committees. It was not clear how Democrats would calculate his seniority in assigning committee perches.

Specter has long been an independent Republican, and he proved it most recently when he became one of only three members of the GOP in Congress to vote for Obama's economic stimulus legislation.

A senior White House official, speaking on the condition of anonymity because no announcement has yet been made, said at 10:25 a.m. EDT Tuesday President Barack Obama was handed a note while in the Oval Office during his daily economic briefing. The note said: "Specter is announcing he is changing parties." At 10:32, Obama reached Specter by phone and told him "you have my full support" and that the Democratic Party is "thrilled to have you."

G2's take:

I'm reminded of "The Godfather." Although it is known that Calo set up Santino (Sonny) to be killed, Michael lets Carlo think he's going to have prominent role in the family's Las Vegas operation. Michael also agrees to be the godfather for Carlo and Connie son's. After the ceremony, he tells Carlo to go right back to his house. He meets him there and lays it on the line.

"You're still going to have to answer for Santino, Carlo," Michael calmy says.

Tearfully, and under the false impression that his life will be spared, Carlo admits what Michael already knew. He had helped Barzini set up Santino to be killed.

Then, Carlo meets his end.

So,Arlen Specter wants to be a Democrat?

You still have to answer for the single-bullet theory, Arlen.

If you can't -- or won't -- do it, I guess your political career is as dead as Carlo when he kicked the windshield while Fat Clemenza strangled him from the backseat.

If you admit the error of your ways and ask forgiveness ... welcome aboard.

I Will Remember You

2009-04-21T10:33:00.000-07:00

I could not let today -- April 21, 2009 -- pass without noting that it is Holocaust Remembrance Day.

As someone who -- in another time and place -- would have carted away, whether or not I was religious or not, this day always had personal meaning.

But it seems to have more impact this year and I need not pay a therapist to unearth the reason.

It is because of Sofia and how much my wife and I love her with every ounce of our beings.

I can't even wrap my arms around the concept of the helplessness of trying to protect a child who someone else deems unworthy to exist.

I think of a lot of people on this day, but I'm mostly thinking of the parents -- parents who watched their children die in front of their eyess, parents who tried to survive for the sake of their children and died in fear of what would become of them, parents who sent their children to live in hiding with others without knowing what the ominous future would bring.

The goodbyes had to be the most painful in history of humankind.

And it's something to which every parent could relate, regardless of who and what you are.

If you are reading this right now, please take a moment to remember. Take a moment to hold your children -- and your parents -- a little closer.

Shalom.

Working On A Dream

2009-04-18T20:42:00.000-07:00

Let the countdown begin. The NFL Draft is this coming weekend (April 25-26) and any real man worth the weight of his bowling ball will, at the very least, be monitoring the non-action.

More specific, let us narrow our focus to the only team that matters -- the Eagles.

If some rookie steps up in the middle of season and starts making plays, don't come to me and say: "Where did this guy come from?" You should already know. That's why you're here. Let's call it Eagles' Draft 101 (the second part of the course will be my post-draft postmortem).

After trading away one their two first-round picks (No. 28 overall) -- as well as an expendable fourth and a sixth next year -- to Buffalo for All-Pro left tackle Jason Peters, the Birds have already had a successful draft.

Instead of moving up to the first third of Round One to get a question mark at left tackle, which would have fit Andy Reid's MO as much as a third trip to the buffet table or poor clock management at the end of a half, they got a proven tackle with the 28th pick.

And who looks like a genius now for making that trade out of the first round last year with Carolina to pick up the extra first?

And all the outcry about Brian Dawkins and the other veterans they let leave via free agency? That money under the cap was used to lock up Peters in a lucrative six-year deal.

And the best part is that the Eagles are still sitting as pretty as a Playboy bunny at H2's ranch as this weekend approaches. They still have 10 picks and not a whole lot of glaring needs.

The view from my binoculars here in Gordonville is that the needs are these: A running back who can spell Brian Westbrook while also being able to create some of the same headaches for defensive coordinators; A tight end to pair with Brent Celek; And, in my mind, an upgrade at center (with the other NFC East teams bolstering the interior of their defensive lines this offseason).

Anything else would be strictly for depth.

Some would say the Eagles still need a safety after losing Dawkins, but don't forget they signed Shawn Jones and Rashad Baker in free agency to join Quintin Mikell and Quintin Demps (who can play the game, in spite of his nightmarish outing in the NFC championship). Many national draft "experts" have the Eagles going for a safety in the earlier rounds, but I wouldn't be surprised if they wait until later -- or not at all.

As for other defensive postions, they may add a tackle and/or rush end and maybe a linebacker. And this is a deep draft for corners, so they may surprise us earlier than expected.

Offensively, you may see a receiver at some point. Ditto for another running back to add depth beyond whatever blue-chipper they grab in the early rounds. And the Eagles never leave a draft without a lineman or two, even though they have enough on their roster for two teams already. Quarterback? Andy Reid once said that any year a team has extra picks, they should take a quarterback -- if only to groom into an asset to be traded away.

That said, let's look at this three ways. The first is the fantasy. It's how I would do it. Keep in mind that I have many fantasy football titles on my resume and the reason was my drafting prowess. The second is the harsh thud of reality. It is what the Eagles will probably do, knowing their all-too-predictable proclivities. The third is, well, a mixture of the two views. A way it could, conceivably, fall into place.

Little trades are a likely possibility, as the Eagles are known to pull stunts like trading a fifth for a fourth the following year. Following the Peters move, I think it is less likely the Eagles move up but possible they move down a few spots in the first round. However, it would be all conjecture on top of all the guesswork we are already dealing with here. Therefore, for the sake of this drill, no trades.

Ready? Let's roll:

My Way - The Fantasy

First Round (No. 21 overall): LeSean McCoy, RB, Pitt
- Comment: Sorry, folks. The perfect fit, Knowshon Moreno of Georgia, will be off the board and Chris "Beanie" Wells of Ohio State is not the Eagles' type of back. The explosive McCoy may be a slight reach, but trading back 6-8 spots would be risky because he is an ideal fit in Arizona and they could jump ahead if we jump back too far.
Second Round (No. 53):Chase Coffman, TE, Missouri
- Comment: Some would say this is another slight reach, but Cofffman (90 catches, 10 TDs last year) has the bloodlines (his father was a solid NFL tight end). Needs work as a blocker, but will put in the effort to learn. Great character guy, which will be a nice departure from L.J. Smith.
Third Round (No. 85): Eric Wood, C, Louisville
- Comment: I didn't want to do this. There were more exciting and inviting players on the board (Jackson State corner Domonique Jackson could be a steal). I love the top two centers in this draft -- Alex Mack of California and Max Unger of Oregon -- and one or the other could be there if the Eagles trade out of 21 and add a pick in the middle of the second round. That scenario aside, Wood is a four-year starter and adds competition at a spot that can't just be gift-wrapped for the very pedestrian and limited Jamaal Jackson because of a lack of other viable options.
Fifth Round (No. 141): McKenna"Bear" Pascoe, TE, Fresno State
- Comment: While considered to be around the 10th best tight end available, he is higher the list of two-way tight ends (once you removed the glorified wide receivers from the list). Had 85 catches over the last two seasons and uses his size (6-5, 257) well as a blocker. Earned his nickname because of his playing style. Happy? And now, with three tight ends (Celek, Coffman and "Bear"), we can wave a collective goodbye to Matt Schobel once and for all. Four's a crowd, dude!
Fifth Round (No. 153): Ian Johnson, RB, Boise State
- Comment: Yes, this is the guy who proposed to his girlfriend after the amazing 2007 Fiesta Bowl win over Oklahoma. He's also the same guy who returned as a Heisman Trophy candidate and didn't improve much, although injuries were the main culprit. In a West Coast attack, Johnson's receiving skills are enough to put the pitiful Lorenzo Booker out of work.
Fifth Round (No. 157): Terrance Knighton, DT, Temple
- Comment: This guy was playing dominating football at the end of the season (I watch my alma mater whenever possible, so this is a sleeper from the pages of my own personal scouting reports.). Plus, if someone is going put Dan Klecko out of a job as the fourth defensive tackle, it may as well be another Temple guy, right?
Fifth Round (No. 159): Kaluka Maiva, OLB, USC
- Comment: The forgotten guy among the Trojans' linebackers (three will go in the first two rounds, if not all the first). Maiva is undersized (6-0, 232) but has an oversized heart and some athleticism to at least kick it old school on special teams.
Sixth Round (No. 194): Deon Butler, WR, Penn State
- Comment: Although teammate Derek Williams will get draft higher, probably in the early third round, let us not forget that Butler actually led PSU with 47 catches for 810 yards and 7 touchdowns last season. He also has return ability, should Desean Jackson get dinged. His size -- 5-9, 173 -- is the only reason for the drop on draft boards. He runs a 4.47 40 and makes plays. So here is your receiver, fans. Sorry if it wasn't someone more exotic.
Sixth Round (No. 195): Anthony Scirrotto, SS, Penn State
- Comment: I hate Penn State, really. But business is business. Can help on special teams and maybe develop into a third safety in time. A lot like former Eagle and Penn Stater Mike Zordich. Can you live with that as a deep reserve? Note to annoying Nittany Lions' fans who over-value their guys: This is where they are rated, sorry.
Seventh Round (No. 230): Ryan Mouton, Athlete, Hawaii
- Comment: Runs a 4.4 in the 40 but doesn't really have a position, although he would probably get a first look at corner. Hey, you can't teach speed. This flyer is worth a flier.

Note that I doubled up on several of the need positions. Not the way Andy will do it ...

Reid's Way - The Reality

First Round (No. 21 overall): Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State
- Comment: Some say he won't be there, but he will. And I think Reid goes for the jugular by taking the top-rated guy at a need position. Can't really argue except ... what about running back? We'll hear the spin about how Westbrook is back at full strength and how Lorenzo Booker will be better in his second year in the system. Scary, but we've heard it all before, have we not?
Second Round (No. 53): Paul Kruger, DE, Utah
- Comment: Another great value pick, or so they will spin it about this overaged rookie (he's 24) who is also slender (6-5, 265) but athletic and hard-working and considered to be more of a Top 40 pick. Oh ... and he's also a Mormon. Gotta keep that quota up, Andy.
Third Round (No. 85): Pat White, multi-purpose, West Virginia
- Comment: "We couldn't believe he was still on the board. We had him as a Day 1 pick," GM Tom Heckert will proclaim. Sure, don't all guys without a true position get drafted in the first two rounds? White has flaws as a quarterback and is too small (6-0, 190) to play there anyway. There are more polished wide receivers and making him a running back would be a project. But the Eagles will tell us they got three for the price of one. The fans will eat up like a Pat's Cheese Steak, too.
Fifth Round (No. 141): Austin Collie, WR, BYU
- Comment: The same spin as with White and Kruger, as Collie led the nation in receiving yards (1,538 on 105 catches!) while hauling in 15 touchdowns last season in a gimmick offense. He's been called by a scouts a "slower version of Kevin Curtis." On the plus side, maybe he'll be able to stay on his feet and actually catch the ball when it counts most (ouch, a shot at Kevin Curtis!). Or maybe, as with almost all young receivers, he'll ride the bench here for 13 years while learning the complex scheme. In the meanwhile, another Mormon to give part of his salary to the church is in the fold. Good times.
Fifth Round (No. 153): Scott McKillop, ILB, Pitt
- Comment: A good player and good value here, but ... a middle linebacker when you already have Stewart Bradley and Joe Mays? Does anyone at NovaCare know that you can only 53 guys on the active roster?
Fifth Round (No. 157): Seth Olson, OG, Iowa
- Comment: The needless run on offensive lineman who will hard-pressed to make the team begins by reaching for a tough-but-limited athlete.
Fifth Round (No. 159): Sammie Hill, DT, Stillman College
- Comment: The Eagles love taking a small-school project each year to look clever. This guy is humungous (6-4, 330) but had all of 7.5 sacks against virtual midgets. Good night, good luck ... but a good mini-camp storyline for the beat writers.
Sixth Round (No. 194): Brett Helms, C, LSU
- Comment: An undersized center? In 2009? Albert Haynesworth is salivating already. So is Jamaal Jackson. Job is safe, baby.
Sixth Round (No. 195): Stephen McGee, QB, Texas A&M
- Comment: An option college quarterback with a lot of grit will become Andy's practice squad science project, even with better QBs still on the board. Grrrrr!
Seventh Round (No. 230): Phil Trautwein, OT, Florida
- Comment: A South Jersey kid who was one of Florida's team captains. That's the good news. The bad news ... too slow-footed and soft for the next level. But what's another offensive lineman to cut?

The above will look like a good draft, value-wise, but will have flaws revealed as the years pass. What else is new, huh?

But there is another way it could go and I wouldn't surprised -- or terribly displeased -- so keep these names in mind ...

First Round (No. 21 overall): Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
-Comment: A DeSean Jackson type, Harvin could also line up in the backfield -- as he did at Florida -- as a third-down back. Has a major tude but great upside.
Second Round (No. 53): Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee
- Comment: Has a lot of potential but his Day 1 status is based a lot on pre-draft workouts and not production. I'd rather see Victor Abiamiri get a shot to start this year.
Third Round (No. 85): Jeremiah Johnson, RB, Oregon
- Comment: His name has been paired with the Eagles a lot because he fits the system. Smallish (5-9, 200), he is more quick than fast but has been highly productive as a runner and catches the ball smoothly. Stock drops slightly because of a torn ACL in 2007, but he could be a nice pick (kind of like another third-round running back from Villanova a few years back).
Fifth Round (No. 141): Austin Collie, WR, BYU
- Comment: Come on ... you know it's gonna happen! His older brother, Zac, was a training camp body two years ago after playing at BYU. Their dad, Scott, and Andy Reid were college teammates at ... BYU.
Fifth Round (No. 153): Tony Fiametta, FB, Syracuse
- Comment: Yes, the Eagles signed Leonard Weaver. But it was only a one-year deal. Although the versatile Fiammetta is the top-ranked fullback among an average group, he may slip this far. The Eagles can sell the fact that he can play a little tight end and/or H-back -- as can Weaver (a college tight end).
Fifth Round (No. 157): John Phillips, TE, Virginia
- Comment: Don't worry, here's a true tight end four picks later. They'll forget they ever uttered the nonsense about how they will use Fiametta when they already have Weaver. Phillips has good size (6-6, 251) and does everything decently -- except get deep. Scouts believe that if he can add 10-15 pounds, he could be as much of a force blocking as Pettigrew down the road. Whatever. I still like my guy, the "Bear," better.
Fifth Round (No. 159): Roy Miller, DT, Texas
- Comment: An effort player who has the fortitude to make it as a backup.
Sixth Round (No. 194): Brandon Underwood, DB, Cincinnati
- Comment: A defensive back is likely at some point, and this guy can play safety and corner.
Sixth Round (No. 195): Mike Reilly, QB, Central Washington
- Comment: If Donovan McNabb stays past this year, Kevin Kolb goes. Plain and simple. Another guy has to be groomed. Reilly, though at a lower level, put up sick numbers (3,706 yards, 37 touchdowns) last year and throughout his career. Scouts say he would have to play in a West Coast offense to make it because his arm strength is lacking. Reminds some of Jeff Garcia.
Seventh Round (No. 230): Pat McAfee, K-P, West Virginia
- Comment: A kicking specialist? Yeah, why not? It's the seventh round. And the Eagles really don't have a lot of open roster spots. His best bet would be to challenge this inconsistent Sav Rocca, and it could be a dead heat right out of the gate. His presence, even as a kickoff guy, could make David Akers kick it up (get it, kick it up?) a notch, too.

Not as good as my draft, but doesn't leave as many holes as Reid's likely scenario.

And if you read this far, give yourself a hand. I hope this helps create clarity come this weekend.

Hollywood Nights

2009-04-04T22:14:00.000-07:00

As promised in my April 5 column deriding blowhard Bill O'Reilly for boycotting Sean Penn films on spec, I'm am pleased to re-release an updated list of my Top 10 films of all-time.

First a note: Lists like these are an important mental exercise to sort stuff out. It's easy to say you like so many movies that it's impossible to cull a list together. I'll give you part of that. I like so many movies that a list of, say, my Top 75 -- in order -- would be impossible.

But a Top 10 should be virtually etched in stone. These aren't the movies you like. They are the ones you love. The ones that shaped who you are.

If, for some strange reason, you have not seen at least half of the following films -- or do not have at least one on your list -- I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse:

1) The Godfather -- Guess I kind of gave it away, huh? No real mystery. Best of the best. When they made it, they threw away the mold. Hard to believe that many great actors were together under one roof. Then again, some -- like Al Pacino and James Caan -- were relative unknowns at the time.

2) Rocky -- "Rocky" is all Philadelphia and Philadelphia is all "Rocky." The litany of sequels, save the half-decent last one, were all Hollyweird. Enough said. As bad as the sequels were, they cannot sully the classic original.

3) The Godfather II -- Welcome to the exception to the rule that sequels usually fall short. Some respected critics have gone so far as to say that this was better than No. 1. Not quite, but very close. Get it up for Bobby D.!

4) JFK -- Don't start with this "historically inaccurate" baloney. I'm as well-read on the JFK turkey shoot as almost anyone and a lot of nails were hit dead on the head by Oliver Stone. Plus, whoever said other "history" movies were 100 percent accurate? Show me one and I'll show you the pin number to my secret bank account in Lichtenstein. Bottom line, this was film-making at its best. For those of you who are easily bored, my advice would be to fast-forward whenever you see Sissy Spacek. It'll cut out about 20 minutes and the plot won't be affected.

5) The Shawshank Redemption -- Like a fine wine, it keeps getting better with age. The true test of a great film is being able to watch it over and over and still enjoy it. Overlooked for Best Picture in favor of the inferior "Forrest Gump," studies have shown that this is rightfully ranked higher on most lists of viewers and critics -- including this one.

6) Serpico -- Al Pacino is the best (although Sean Penn is about to take the baton ... sorry Mr. O'Reilly) and this was Al Pacino at his best. With a lesser actor in the lead role, it could have been a just a half-decent movie and not a G2 all-timer.

7) Annie Hall -- Note to my female fans: If you want to know what it would have been like to date me, check out Woody Allen's character, Alvy Singer, in this one and stop eating your hearts out. Woody has had many classics, but this remains his departure effort.

8) Scarface -- This Pacino film was so perfect through the first two-thirds of it that I'll overlook the borderline silly final third of the script and keep it on the luminous list.

9) Schindler's List -- Just as "The Godfather" is the ultimate mob movie, this was the supreme "Holocaust" film. All that keeps it out of the Top Five is that is hard to sit through, although one time per year is suggested just to remind you that we are all humans in the human race.

10) Driving Miss Daisy -- Someone explain to me how Morgan Freeman did not win an Academy Awofard for Best Supporting actor? Nonetheless, Best Picture honors were on the money. Just pro that big budgets don't guarantee anything. It's all in the writing, directing and acting. Special kudos to Dan Akroyd, who reportedly deferred his salary until after the movie was made. He believed in the project that much. It's enough to restore your faith in humanity -- and maybe even forgive misguided blowhards on the Fox News Network.

Just missing the cut ... Dead Man Walking (not worth boycotting, trust me), The Pope of Greenwich Village (a glimpse into the unfulfilled potential of Mickey Rourke and Eric Roberts), A Bronx Tale (almost too good to be true), Crimes and Misdemeanors (my wife's favorite movie, it's Woody Allen's second best), Braveheart (bumped from previous list, but not because of any Mel Gibson boycott ... further research shows the history is so inaccurate that Oliver Stone would be embarrassed), Glory (best war movie), Platoon (second best war movie), Marty (Ernest Borgnine's best), 12 Angry Men (give me great writing and 12 great actors and keep your special effects), Dog Day Afternoon (another Pacino classic), Matewan (the best from the best independent filmmaker, John Sayles), Hoosiers (best sports movie, followed by Miracle and Rudy), Tender Mercies (Robert Duvall's best effort). Goodfellas (note all the extras who ended up on The Sopranos), Mr. Saturday Night (see what I did there?), Carlito's Way (Sean Penn AND Al Pacino).

If I missed your favorite flicks, don't fret. I've seen thousands -- though none of this year's apparent standouts -- and hundreds are considered classics in Gordonville. You can't name them all and none should be boycotted.

Dream Weaver

2009-03-24T11:08:00.001-07:00

We interrupt the pending end of the world (at least as we know it), for the following important message: The Eagles have taken the plunge and gotten themselves a legit fullback. Not a converted linebacker (Josh Parry). Not a guy with no versatility (Thomas Tapeh). Not a tweener tailback (Tony Hunt). Not a converted defensive tackle (Dan Klecko).

I applaud thee, personnel peeps, for seeing thine light and signing the best all-around fullback on the market in Leonard Weaver (Heath Evans is a better blocker but does little else). A tight end in college, he a natural blocker and receiver. The Seattle Seawards, who play an almost identical system as the Eagles, learned in the last year or two that he can also be an effective runner -- particularly in those pesky short-yardage scenarios.

The Eagles have been shrugging off positions like fullback, center, return specialist and linebacker and are learning -- spot by spot -- that a true Super Bowl team can't afford any exploitable weak spots.

I'm still concerned about center, as Jamaal Jackson is a stop-gap type of player and the teams in their division have loaded up on interior defensive lineman who'll eat a rent-a-center for lunch and dessert.

As usual, I'm fearful they think they can get by with Jackson -- a converted tackle who was undrafted out of Delaware State -- but there are some centers (Alex Mack, Max Unger) I like in the draft (the Eagles have a dozen picks). At the least, I'd like to see competition for Jackson from last year's fourth-round pick Mike McGlynn and/or Nick Cole.

For now, I'll try not to let it keep up nights. We have a fullback -- a real fullback (like the ones I watched on th NFL Network this weekend during a replay of the 1993 NFC Title Game between the Dallas Cowboys, with Darryl Johnston at fullback, at the San Francisco 49ers, with Tom Rathman).

Wake me up, I must be dreaming.

Masters Of War

2009-03-19T11:06:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else have a 7-year itch, or is it just me?

As Iraq war enters 7th year, focus on politics

By ROBERT H. REID, Associated Press Writer Robert H. Reid, Associated Press Writer 36 mins ago

BAGHDAD – Sunni and Shiite lawmakers warned Thursday that political and economic challenges could derail the country's progress toward stability as the Iraq war entered its seventh year.

After six years of war and tens of thousands of deaths, violence has declined sharply nationwide — especially in Baghdad — although the Sunni-led insurgency remains potent in northern Iraq.

The Iraqi government held no official ceremony to mark the start of the war, which kicked off before dawn on March 20, 2003 — March 19 in Washington — with a U.S. missile and bomb attack in south Baghdad in an unsuccessful attempt to kill Saddam Hussein.

With violence at wartime lows, Sunni and Shiite politicians are focusing more on economic and political issues that the U.S. and many Iraqis fear could stoke the war after U.S. troops begin drawing down this year.

"The political process is full of tensions and contradictions and the situation in Iraqi will deteriorate if political progress isn't made," Sunni lawmaker Osama al-Nujaifi said. "There are still a lot of challenges ahead, including unemployment and the immigration millions of Iraqis abroad."

He cited the country's budget crisis after severe cuts had to be made following the steep drop in oil prices from a high of $150 per barrel last summer to just over $50 per barrel on Thursday.

"We live in a critical economic situation," he said. "There is a lot to be accomplished before we can express our optimism."

As a sign of improved security, the Tourism Ministry announced Thursday that an eight-member tourist group — five Britons, two Americans and one Canadian — are touring the country until Sunday.

The tour, organized by a British travel service, includes visits to the largely peaceful Kurdish north, Baghdad and the ancient ruins of Nineveh, Babylon and Ur, where the Bible says the Prophet Abraham was born.

Political and economic problems have grown even as U.S. plans to withdraw combat troops by September 2010, with all American soldiers gone by the end of the following year according to a U.S.-Iraqi security agreement.

The U.S. military is hoping to leave without the country disintegrating into chaos. At least 4,259 members of the U.S. military have died since the war began.

The decline in violence is largely attributed to a 2007 U.S. troop buildup, a Sunni revolt against al-Qaida in Iraq and a militia cease-fire called by Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr.

A key Sadrist aide on Thursday demanded a faster U.S. withdrawal.

"Iraq will never see stabilization unless all occupation forces are withdrawn. Any presence on any military base will exacerbate the problems," Sheik Salah al-Obeidi said.

"We haven't seen any change from the last anniversary until now," he added. "Other challenges are the ethical and financial corruption that Iraq will likely have to live with for years due to this occupation."

Al-Sadr, who led the feared Mahdi Army militia, ordered most of his followers to lay down their arms to form a new social welfare network, although he retained a small fighting force.

He renewed his call for members of the network known as Momahidoun — or "those who pave the way" — to denounce violence in a statement issued by his office in the Shiite holy city of Najaf.

"We praise and highly appreciate the work of those who are leading or participating in the big and effective Momahidoun project," al-Sadr said. "We hope they will continue to denounce violence and to raise science and culture as a weapon."

Al-Sadr, who is believed to be in Iran, is trying to position himself as a political force ahead of national elections expected later this year. He also faces a challenge from breakaway Shiite militia groups that continue to stage attacks on U.S. and Iraqi forces.

Arab League Secretary-General Amr Moussa also said the withdrawal of U.S. forces will be a key factor in achieving national reconciliation in Iraq.

"Iraq's stability can only be achieved through two key things ... to stop all sectarianism polarization and the withdrawal of the U.S. forces," Moussa said after meeting Iraq's senior Shiite cleric Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani in the holy city of Najaf. "These two things are linked."

Moussa's mostly Sunni 22-nation organization has begun to engage with the Shiite-dominated Iraqi government after shunning it for years following the U.S.-led invasion.

His visit and push for reconciliation comes as many of his member nations are seeking to prevent Iran from gaining dominant influence in Iraq with the impending withdrawal of American forces by the end of 2011.

Separately, the U.S. military released about 100 more detainees as part of a security agreement with Iraq that took effect Jan. 1.

The former inmates were greeted with hugs and cheers by relatives in Baghdad after they were released from the Camp Bucca detention center in southern Iraq.

The U.S. military said earlier this month that the number of detainees held by the Americans in Iraq — many without charge — has dropped to 13,832 from a peak of 26,000 in 2007.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

2009-03-12T13:21:00.000-07:00

Bernie Madoff -- a disgrace to my race -- says he is "deeply sorry and ashamed" for bilking billions from "investors" in a Ponzi scheme that would even make Mr. Ponzi (whoever he is) blush.

Why is that these guy are only "sorry" after the fact?

Do handcuffs elicit contrition? (hey, I like that line ... maybe I'll use it in a song, so don't swipe it)

If he's really that filled with remorse, maybe he'll tell us where all the money -- surely earmarked for his wife -- is stashed.

He wouldn't do that.

Then he would be truly sorry.

Changes

2009-03-09T08:40:00.000-07:00

And "they" dare to mock us when we talked about "hope and change." Here is a prime example:

Obama to overturn Bush policy on stem cells

By PHILIP ELLIOTT
The Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama is allowing federal taxpayer dollars to fund embryonic stem cell research, the latest reversal of his predecessor's policies.

The president, who plans to sign an order later Monday, will be fulfilling a campaign promise that could set in motion a broad push on research to find better treatment for ailments from diabetes to paralysis. Proponents such as former first lady Nancy Reagan and the late actor Christopher Reeve had called for ending restrictions on research spending.

The executive order undoes former President George W. Bush's directive that was based on his determination that using embryos to create additional stem cell lines was morally wrong and, therefore, research on those lines should not be funded by the government.

Bush had limited the use of taxpayer money to 21 stem cell lines that were created before Aug. 9, 2001. The Obama order reverses that but does not address a legislative ban that precludes any federal money to researchers who develop stem cell lines by destroying embryos.

The legislation, however, does not prevent funds for research on stem cell lines that were produced by researchers who did their work without federal aid.

Bush and his supporters had said they were defending human life. Days-old embryos — typically from fertility clinics and destined for destruction — are destroyed for the stem cells.

Embryonic stem cells are master cells that can morph into any cell of the body. Scientists hope to harness them so they can create replacement tissues to treat a variety of diseases — such as new insulin-producing cells for diabetics, cells that could help those with Parkinson's disease or maybe even Alzheimer's, or new nerve connections to restore movement after spinal injury.

In reversing the Bush policy, Obama also planned to issue a memo on scientific research in an East Room ceremony. White House advisers said the memorandum was part of the president's policy of deeper scientific involvement in issues ranging from renewable energy to climate change.

"I would simply say this memorandum is not concerned solely — or even specifically — with stem cell research," said Harold Varmus, chairman of the White House's Council of Advisers on Science and Technology. He said it would address how the government uses science and who is advising officials across federal agencies.

But Rep. Eric Cantor, the No. 2 Republican in the House, said the White House should focus on the economy, not on a long-simmering debate over stem cells.

"Frankly, federal funding of embryonic stem cell research can bring on embryo harvesting, perhaps even human cloning that occurs," he said Sunday on CNN's "State of the Union." "We don't want that. ... And certainly that is something that we ought to be talking about, but let's take care of business first. People are out of jobs."

Regardless, researchers say newer lines that have been produced without federal money during the period of the Bush ban are healthier and better suited to creating treatment for diseases.

"We've got eight years of science to make up for," said Dr. Curt Civin, whose research allowed scientists to isolate stem cells and who now serves as the founding director of the University of Maryland Center for Stem Cell Biology and Regenerative Medicine.

At the same event Monday, Obama planned to announce safeguards through the National Institutes of Health intended to diminish what the administration believes is an intrusion by the political process on the scientific community.

"We view what happened with stem cell research in the last administration is one manifestation of failure to think carefully about how federal support of science and the use of scientific advice occurs," Varmus said.

ANY QUESTIONS?????

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

2009-03-08T19:14:00.000-07:00

This fall-back, spring-forward stuff is really getting to be a drag.

In the fall, you gain a precious hour of sleep but have darkness fall early through an already dismal time of year.

Now, in the spring, we lose that hour of sleep.

Why not just leave it alone?

Or we could keep the extra of daylight, which would perhaps amount to a small but substantial energy savings, could we not?

I heard it is also mentioned that we should compromise next fall, only going back a half-hour and keeping the clocks there for good.

Sounds good to me.

If we are to continue with this folly, how about some ground rules:

- All owner's manuals in cars have to be clear about setting the clock. Even though this happens every six months, I always draw a blank on how to set the clock in mine and my wife's cars. By the time I page through the owner's manuals to find out how to re-set the clock, six months have passed again. Maybe the clocks could be automatic, like our computers.

- All of us - or at least men - should be allowed a 60-minute nap the Sunday after we lose the hour. To be fair, when we can the hour in the fall, women can use the time to bake a cake for us.

Celluloid Heroes

2009-02-21T08:16:00.001-08:00

The filming of 'A Shot In The Foot," and ensemble-style movie flick based on Norristown (called Norrisburg), may take some time (like everything else around here). Therefore, the below list of who would play play who is an ongoing exercise and subject to change.

There are some ground-rules, however. While we won't publish the dates of birth here, my rule is that the actor has to be within a general age range (no more than five years younger or older) than the person they are playing. And, obviously, no dead actors. Think as if the movie is being filmed tomorrow.

This is what we have so far:

Yours Truly: Jon Favereau, Paul Giamatti, Jeff Garlin, Jeremy Piven and Adam Sandler
Yours Truly (the older version for flash-forward scenes): Eric Bogosian
Times Herald Editor Stan Huskey: Gary Grubbs or Chris Cooper
Times Herald Publisher Shelley Meenan: Holly Hunter
Times Herald Special Projects Editor Cheryl Kehoe Rodgers: Cheryl Kehoe Rodgers
Times Herald News Editor Ann Cornell: Natalie Portman or Amy Adams
Times Herald Online Editor John Berry: Jason Lee
Former Times Herald Reporter Dan Kelley: Joaquin Phoenix
Times Herald Reporter Gary Puleo: Steve Schirripa
Times Herald Reporter Keith Phucas: Kurtwood Smith
Times Herald Reporter Carl Rotenberg: David Paymer
Times Herald Features Creature Melissa Brooks: Brittany Snow
Times Herald Sports Editor Dave Kurtz: Huey Lewis
Montgomery County DA Risa Ferman: Helen Hunt
Norristown Chief of Police Russell J. Bono: James Caan
Norristown Det. Lt. Kevin McKeon: Gary Sinise
Norristown Capt. Willie Richet: Jim Brown
Norristown Cop Katie O'Connor: Tina Fey
Norristown High Principal Joe Howell: Wilford Brimley
Norristown High Guidance Counselor Ernie Hadrick: Danny Glover
Community Agitator Robert Wright: Richard Gant
Mediterranean Philanthropist: Robert Loggio or Michael Constantine
Former Times Times Herald Sports Editor Tony Leodora: Joe Pesci (uncredited)
Norristown Ambassador Hank Cisco: Danny Aiello

And now ... we really you help for the rest:

Montgomery County Commissioner Bruce L. Castor Jr.: Josh Brolin? Bill Paxton?
Montgomery County Commissioner James Matthews: ???
Montgomery County Commissioner Joe Hoeffel: ???
Montgomery County First DA Kevin Steele: ???
Montgomery County Sheriff John P. Durante: Vincent Pastore?

Times Herald Photographer Gene Walsh: John C. McGinley? Tom Berenger?
Times Herald Photographer Andrea Stanely: ???
Times Herald Assistant News Editor Rebecca Catagnus: ???
Times Herald Copy Editor Kevin O'Brien: Mickey Rourke?
Times Herald Sports Writer Tom Kerrane: Matthew Perry?
Times Herald Sports Writer Dennis C. Way: Nick Nolte? Gary Busey?
Times Herald Reporter/Sports Writer Matt Bretzius: ???
Times Herald Features Editor Philomena Johns: ???
Times Herald Contributing Columnist Lisa Mossie: Ann Coulter?
Times Herald Sports Desk Assistants Bill Schneider and Stuart Christ (composite character): Pee Wee Herman?
La Voz Editor Reinaldo Garcia: Michael Pena? Jay Hernandez? Lombardo Boyar? Jack Guzman? Rick Gonzalez?
Times Herald Intern Katie Clark: Dakota Fanning?

Norristown PAL Guy Brett Wells: ???
Norristown Parks and Rec. Director Bill Plichta: ???
Norristown High Football Coach E.J. Smith: Eddie Murphy?

I'm Still Standing

2009-02-16T11:10:00.000-08:00

Getting into the holiday spirit

Reprint of 2007 column (I stand by every word).

By: GORDON GLANTZ

Never wanting to be a slave unto another man's calendar, I've always created my own holidays for happenings such as the release of a new album or to properly mourn a painful Eagles' loss that might make me so mad that I'd pull a gun on another motorist.

A lot of you are not as creative. You are off tomorrow and you are not even giving a second thought - let alone a first - as to why.

As you are shopping for half-price toasters and 2-for-1 schmatas, you are armed with fliers with pictures of our two most famous presidents. Hence, you know the holiday has something to do with them.

Yes, next up on the list of holidays with diminished importance in our culture is something we call Presidents' Day.

And in keeping with the faint holiday spirit, I have culled together the following lists of the five best and worst presidents in the short-but-intriguing history of our nation:

Five Best

5) Bill Clinton - That's right, Bill Clinton. There was an episode of Star Trek where Captain Kirk, as Captain Kirk was apt to do, became a literal star-crossed lover in a long-distance relationship doomed to fail. To help ease his heartbreak, Spock put his hand over Kirk's bowed head and said "forget." If Spock came out of retirement from his over-155 retirement community on Vulcan and made you all forget the Monica Lewinsky situation, how would Clinton's presidency be evaluated? If it were allowable to run for more than two terms, he would have won again. But we don't do that here. We don't have kings. Or do we?

4) Theodore Roosevelt - Sure, he told some tall tales about his military service, but he was still "fit to serve" as president at a crucial time in our history when a growing number of immigrants were ripe for exploitation. Teddy was a big man for the "little man," as he was influenced by the heroic muckrakers (journalists and writers who endeavored to unmask empire-like businesses, their arrogant abuses and the corrupt politicians who enabled them). That's enough to crack my Big Five any day.

3) George Washington - There are a lot of myths surrounding the father of our country - the largest being that he, and he alone, is the father of our country (the legacies of Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and Thomas Paine should demand DNA tests) - but he is the first true American hero. And GW set the bar high. They could've and would've called him king, but he knew that's not why he had fought the Revolutionary War - winning with France's help - and refused that title.

2) Abraham Lincoln - Tough call not putting honest Abe No. 1. The only thing keeping him from that top spot was that thorny issue of having half the nation hate his guts. Then again, they did so because he threatened a lifestyle that went against everything in this country's intended blueprint. A lesser man would have left us with a fractured America.

1) Franklin Delano Roosevelt - Guided us through The Great Depression and most of World War II. Elected to a third term out of necessity, FDR proved the adage that it all starts at the top and trickles down from there. "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." You can say that again. Go ahead, say it.

Notably Missing: John F. Kennedy. Whenever you are a public figure and die young, your legacy will morph into one of mystique. Yes, his election also broke down some barriers, as he was the first Catholic president (still waiting on the first black and/or Jew). However, a closer look reveals that the most fascinating part of the short-lived "Camelot" presidency of our first "rock star president" is the mystery surrounding his assassination.

Five Worst

5) Ronald Reagan - That's right, Ronald Ray-Gun. Forgetting the fact that, due to early Alzheimer's, he probably didn't know how to put on his own socks during the final years of his presidency, Reagan laughably gets almost sole credit for ending the Cold War. He also gets credit here for making the middle class nonexistent with policies that created two Americas that Clinton valiantly tried to re-link.

4) Jimmy Carter - Whenever I get into a worthy debate with an endangered species known as an independent-thinking Republican, they always nail me when they throw the peanut farmer in my face. Thanks, Jimmy. For you, there is no defense.

3) William Henry Harrison - Who? Enough said.

2) James Buchanan - The only president from our state was an abject failure whose efforts to quell North-South tensions leading up to the Civil War were, at best, lame. He was wishy-washy on the issue of slavery, saying he was against it while appeasing Southerners by saying the practice was somehow protected under the Constitution. He also wanted to purchase Cuba, which would have given us some great baseball players and another place to vacation, but another slave state.

1) XXXXXX X. XXXX - I refuse to use his name, but you know the guy all too well. Just go to the "Internets" and search "miserable failure" on "the Google." There is only one president with the distinction of popping right up (even if it's full of explanations why he no longer pops right up). Not near a computer? OK ... here's more. He is the son of another ineffective president - and we're not talking about John and John Quincy Adams - and he has a brother or two who may want to grow up to be president one day also. But don't worry, we don't have kings or royal families in this country. Or do we?

Notably Missing: Richard Nixon. He said he wasn't a crook and he was a crook, leaving us with what was actually an overdue widespread mistrust of national politicians who, as Woody Allen's character Alvy Singer put it in the movie Annie Hall are "one notch below child molester" in society's moral pecking order. If he hadn't gotten caught, Nixon would have gone down as an above-average president. Since he did, let's just slot him in at below-average and leave it at that.

Beautiful Loser

2009-01-20T05:34:00.000-08:00

Do I blame Donovan McNabb for the Eagles imploding in Arizona Sunday, an even that dropped his record to 1-4 in NFC Championship Game starts?

Not really.

He's on the "Goat" list -- somewhere below defensive coordinator Jim Johnson -- and above the defensive line that couldn't generate pressure. But that's as far as I can go.

He didn't lose the game (the defense did by allowing 24 points in the first half and playing a matador style on the definitive drive in the fourth quarter), but he could have strapped the team on his back and still won it.

But that's not Donovan McNabb.

He wins, but he's not a winner.

He's not John Elway, Joe Montana, Johnny Unitas -- or Kurt Warner.

He is who he is -- and the Eagles of this era are what they are -- and neither will be anything more or less.

And another franchise rises up from the vast wasteland of NFL mediocrity -- and our expense -- and passes us by.

Dust In The Wind

2008-12-30T10:12:00.000-08:00

Nobody in their right mind like a fierce wind -- particularly in winter, when 4o degrees can turned into a "real feel" of 11.

Still, I had to chuckle at the noon news today.

The anchor said the debate over the closing of libraries across Philadelphia was intensifying and that the situation between Israel and Hamas on the Gaza Strip had no end in sight.

But the big story ... it's windy outside.

And then they cut to a weather guy outside to tell us more about how windy it was outside.

I get it -- it's windy.

But ... I don't get it.

Sweet Caroline

2008-12-28T08:48:00.000-08:00

This whole Caroline Kennedy thing poses quite a quandary for me, as I remain opposed to concept of American royal families dominating the political arena. I see the Bushes, the Clintons -- and the Kennedys -- as being diametrically opposed to the core reason we fought the Revolutionary War, which was to break free from the notion of being subjects to a king or queen based solely on that person's bloodlines.

Nonetheless, exceptions can be made. Just ask ... me. I supported Hillary Clinton for president she, herself, gave up the fight and join forces with President-elect Barack Obama. Obama since tabbed Clinton for the post of Secretary of State and we will be a better nation for it.

I never gave much thought to Caroline Kennedy. She was a civilian who lived a quiet life in NYC. We heard from her when her mother and brother died and again when the Jewish Elvis, Neil Diamond, revealed that she was the inspiration behind his timeless pop classic "Sweet Caroline."

She threw her support behind Obama at a time when I was still all about Hillary, so I resented her sudden interest in politics. I thought it was kind of weak to throw her last name around when it was convinient and seemingly on command from Uncle Teddy.

But after backing Obama this fall, my stance has softened. JFK's daughter is seeking the appointment to Hillary Clinton's soon-to-be-vacant U.S. Senate seat.

I say: You go, girl. Good times never seemed so good.

There are several reasons I like the idea:

1) To the victors go the spoils. This annoys so many Republicans, whose knee-jerk opposition is just as wrong as those who think her last name should mean at automatic nod from New York Gov. David Patterson, that you gotta love it. What good is a having a spare Kennedy hanging around if you can't rub one in the GOP's collective face.

2) She is not a carpet-bagger. She is a long-time New Yorker. And, from all I can glean, she is geunine in her intentions. A Kennedy or not, this is refreshing and emblematic of the Obama era.

3) If we are to maintain our new political dominance, we need to rip a page or two out of Karl Rove's playbook. In 2010, when Sweet Caroline would have to run for the spot, she could finance her own campaign and easily raise the spare change she would need to keep her seat warm for another two years. As a party, the money could spent elsewhere as we pursue a super majority in the Senate.

To quote the greatest movie ever made: It's not personal, it's business.

So get out your Karoake machine and sing:

Where it began
I cant begin to knowin
But then I know its growin strong

Was in the spring
And spring became the summer
Whod have believed youd come along

Hands, touchin hands
Reachin out
Touchin me
Touchin you

Sweet caroline
Good times never seemed so good
Ive been inclined
To believe they never would

But now i
Look at the night
And it dont seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two
And when I hurt
Hurtin runs off my shoulders
How can I hurt when Im with you

Warm, touchin warm
Reachin out
Touchin me
Touchin me

Sweet caroline
Good times never seemed so good
Ive been inclined
To believe they never would
Oh, no, no

Sweet caroline
Good times never seemed so good
Ive been inclined
I believed they never could
Sweet caroline

I Started A Joke

2008-12-18T14:35:00.000-08:00

This whole mess with venerable Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter telling a Polish joke got my wheels turning beyond the old worn-out "How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb?" (six, hold to hold it in place and the other five to turn him around).

Here's a new one, in honor of Specter:

How many Polish people does it take to believe the single-bullet theory?

Answer: None. Nobody is that dumb.

Disclaimer: My wife is part Polish meaning, meaning my daughter has some of that blood coursing through her veins as well. Therefore, I am allowed to tell this joke, right?

Boogie Shoes

2008-12-15T15:25:00.000-08:00

He didn’t get why many questioned the correlation between Sept. 11 and invading Iraq. He didn’t get why doing a fly-by over Katrina-ravaged New Orleans wasn’t sufficient. He didn’t get why leasing port security to Dubai seemed like a sick joke. He didn’t get why tax breaks to the rich – over and over and over again – were not A-OK with the common folk. He didn’t get why we weren’t going to just swallow the concept of his glorified personal assistant, Harriet Miers, as a Supreme Court justice.

And these are just the glaring low-lights of the last eight years of ineptitude.

So it only stood to reason that when an Iraqi journalist hurled his shoes – instead of lobbing softballs -- at him last Sunday at a press conference in the war-torn country, he didn’t get it.

In a follow-up interview on ABC, he said he “didn’t know what the guy’s beef was” and shrugged when he said “I guess he just wanted to get on TV.”

While there is no condoning the actions, it was kind of nice to see that there are still journalists who think outside the box.

His “beef” was fairly obvious – at least to those of us who “get it.” He said it was doing it for the “widows and orphans.”

And since the guy is in the television business already, his true reason for throwing shoes was an ultimate sign of disrespect.

Since the time we invaded Iraq on a whim and a prayer, needless casualties to Iraqi civilians number in the tens of thousands.

For He Whose Name Shall Not Be Written (or spoken) to visit the country with that stupid smirk on his face as he pretends that putting casts on a fractured infrastructure is sign that he done good, is seen as an insult.

That was the journalist’s “beef” and that’s why President Lame Duck was starring down the soles of the dude’s shoes.

Message to Michael

2008-12-14T14:36:00.000-08:00

If you read my Dec. 14 column, you may have noticed a reference to Michael Moore. It was in response to him going public -- including an appearance with the human insect, Larry King -- against a bailout of the U.S. auto industry's Big Three. Moore's rationale was based on a "they deserve it" mentality. The Big Three had neglected and abused its own workers for so long, he reasoned, why should they get a government bailout?

Since then, however, M2 seems to have changed his tune. His derision toward the Big Three was trumped by that of the GOP schmucks in the U.S. Senate who killed the bailout approved by the Congress.

He sent out this e-mail to those of us who generally support him, and I salute him for doing so. Read on:

Friends,

They could have given the loan on the condition that the automakers start building only cars and mass transit that reduce our dependency on oil.

They could have given the loan on the condition that the automakers build cars that reduce global warming.

They could have given the loan on the condition that the automakers withdraw their many lawsuits against state governments in their attempts to not comply with our environmental laws.

They could have given the loan on the condition that the management team which drove these once-great manufacturers into the ground resign and be replaced with a team who understands the transportation needs of the 21st century.

Yes, they could have given the loan for any of these reasons because, in the end, to lose our manufacturing infrastructure and throw 3 million people out of work would be a catastrophe.

But instead, the Senate said, we'll give you the loan only if the factory workers take a $20 an hour cut in wages, pension and health care. That's right. After giving BILLIONS to Wall Street hucksters and criminal investment bankers -- billions with no strings attached and, as we have since learned, no oversight whatsoever -- the Senate decided it is more important to break a union, more important to throw middle class wage earners into the ranks of the working poor than to prevent the total collapse of industrial America.

We have a little more than a month to go of this madness. As I sit here in Michigan today, tens of thousands of hard working, honest, decent Americans do not believe they can make it to January 20th. The malaise here is astounding. Why must they suffer because of the mistakes of every CEO from Roger Smith to Rick Wagoner? Make management and the boards of directors and the shareholders pay for this.

Of course that is heresy to the 31 Republicans who decided to blame the poor, miserable autoworkers for this mess. And our wonderful media complied with their spin on the morning news shows: "UAW Refuses to Give Concessions Killing Auto Bailout Bill." In fact the UAW has given concession after concession, reduced their benefits, agreed to get rid of the Jobs Bank and agreed to make it harder for their retirees to live from week to week. Yes! That's what we need to do! It's the Jobs Bank and the old people who have led the nation to economic ruin!

But even doing all that wasn't enough to satisfy the bastard Republicans. These Senate vampires wanted blood. Blue collar blood. You see, they weren't opposed to the bailout because they believed in the free market or capitalism. No, they were opposed to the bailout because they're opposed to workers making a decent wage. In their rage, they were driven to destroy the backbone of this country, not because the UAW hadn't given back enough, but because the UAW hadn't given up.

It appears that the sitting President has been looking for a way to end his reign by one magnanimous act, just like a warlord on his feast day. He will put his finger in the dyke, and the fragile mess of an auto industry will eke through the next few months.

That will give the Senate enough time to demand that the bankers and investment sharks who've already swiped nearly half of the $700 billion gift a chance to make the offer of cutting their pay.

Fat chance.

Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
MichaelMoore.com

The Night Chicago Died

2008-12-11T09:11:00.000-08:00

I know my immediate thoughts about the scandal surrounding Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich allegedly trying to auction off the U.S. Senate seat of President-elect Barack Obama was to question the long-standing practice of shooting dirty pool in Chicago -- and Illinois -- politics.

And to make a quick connection to Obama, who has risen out of -- and above -- this world.

But I place this one squarely on the shoulders of the voters who put this clearly derranged governor in office in the first place.

Look at the guy? To say he looks like a used salesman would be a disservice to used car salesmen. He looks like a used car salesman who can't stay employed because he can't sell a car.

We don't always have to listen to our mothers. Sometimes we can judge a book by its cover.

Somehow, these sleaze balls -- i.e. Newt Gingrich -- get elected and re-elected.

And is anyone surprised that the name of Jesse Jackson Jr. has surfaced in this scandal. The son of the foot-in-mouth, pseudo-preacher-for-hire was one of the leading candidates to replace Obama in the senate on his own merit. He can kiss that goodbye.

But the worst part was watching Sean Hannity and Karl Rove yuck it up on Fox the night news of the scandal broke.

Are they serious?

Must be fun to have no conscious, let alone a sense of how hypocritical you appear.

Correct me if i'm wrong, but shouldn't Rove already be in jail keeping the cell warm for Blago?

Be True To Your School

2008-11-28T21:34:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. A little post-election lull, coupled with my annual Thanksgiving-week vacation, has kept me away from manning my battle station (i.e. the keyboard).

Speaking of Turkey Day, I scanned the list of scores from around the region and saw that my alma mater, Northeast High, crushed rival Central.

That was the good news.

The bad was the lack of Thanksgiving games. Kudos to the likes of Spring-Ford and Phoenixville -- and also Pottsgrove and St. Pius X -- still getting it on, but all other area schools not still alive in the PIAA playoffs (all but North Penn) should have made attempts to find dance partners.

Northeast went fairly deep into the playoffs (which amazes me because the Vikes looked mediocre against Norristown in the season opener) and still kept the Central game on the calendar.

Kennedy-Kenrick and PW would have been a good game. How about a renewal of the Norristown-Upper Merion rivalry that we still hear so much about? Methacton could have hooked up with an old rivalry lost with its move this year to the Pioneer Athletic Conference.

All it takes is a phone call. Some athletic directors make some nice coin. How about earning some of it?

I know, I know ... there are bigger problems in the world.

Nonetheless, sometimes you have to think local before acting global. Things like rivalries, even if they can only be semi-regular becuase of the PIAA playoff cash cow, are what help to keep the American fabric sewn.

In My Time Of Dying

2008-11-11T05:21:00.000-08:00

When the supposed Angel of Death comes to call, would you rather go quick or slow. Going quick saves you a lot of suffering but going slow gives you a chance to say goodbye who are worth saying goodbye to.

It's a tough call. Ideally, you'd like something in the middle, but that's not on the table for this drill.

What brought this lovely topic to the forefront? The Eagles -- the football team, not the band.

For this loyalist and season-ticket holder, the Andy Reid era officially ended after the loss on Monday Night Football to the dreaded Dallas Cowboys earlier in the season.

Reid, and the fans, gave a collective smile and shrug after the narrow loss. The feeling was that, although the setback could prove to be the difference between winning or losing the division (both teams have since gone into the tank, so that laughable now), it was a good game and at least the Eagles were able to hang with the same team they used to beat up on a few seasons earlier.

That attitude -- after losing a winnable game to a division rival -- told me that the bar has been set below reaching the Super Bowl with this regime. They now just want to compete and maybe, if the ball bounces their way, eke into the playoffs and milk the fans for money around the holidays for playoff ticket ransom.

Since then, it's been all downhill. The Eagles are 5-4, but all four losses could and should have been wins. They are 0-3 in a division that has passed them by. Brian Westbrook looks old, Donovan McNabb is never going to get any better and their tendencies on both sides of the ball are predictable. The only saving grace is the talent to overcome coaching gaffes, but it's not enough.

It's over.

And I'd rather see the Eagles crash this season and finish something like 7-9 or 8-8. If they manage to go above .500, ownership will continue the Andy Reid charade that will never bring us a parade that would make the Phillies' celebration look like a Memorial Day cookout.

I know this isn't political, but some things just hit closer to home. Thanks for letting me vent.

Here Comes The Sun

2008-11-03T23:28:00.000-08:00

Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump ...

If listen closely in between the crows of the rooster this historic morning, you can hear the pounding.

The rapid heartbeats should be born out of great anticipation. Instead, there are thumping away by virtue of the most vile of all four-letter words -- fear.

I would wager a pretty penny or two that some of you reading this still haven't made up your minds upon whom to vote for today.

To left, you have Barack Obama and running mate Joe Biden. To the right, there is John McCain and sidekick Sarah Palin.

Given where we are in this country -- and the fact that more than 90 percent of Americans think we're heading in the wrong direction -- it should be a landslide.

McCain, for better or worse, is wearing the brand of the party that dug the hole. He rubber-stamped many of the flawed decisions that pushed us into that hole. He rationlized it, which equated to trying to bury us alive.

Obama, overcoming all odds, represents a new dawn.

He won't dig us out in 12 seconds, but he will. He has the vision and intellect to surround himself with dynamic people who, together, will point us toward tomorrow instead of yesterday.

But there is a catch. Obama is 50 percent black, which is 50 percent too much for a lot of America to swallow.

And so, for that reason alone, we will have a close election today. Obama should still eke out a win in terms of popular vote and surpass the magic number needed in electoral votes.

But one never knows.

So I'm taking to the mound to make one last pitch -- despite a sore arm.

A lot of you are scared. You're not racist, at least not in a KKK or Karl Rove sense, but you are afraid -- afraid of the dark (pun intended).

Let's just be politically correct and call it ... culturally insecurity.

Well, before it's too late, let's flip the switch and look at this thing logically and try to ease some fears with five reasons to do the clear-cut right thing and vote for the Obama-Biden ticket today:

5) The Vice Presidential Choices: And this goes to judgment as much as anything else. Sarah Palin was a no-name from nowhere, which created a temporary mystique that wore off fast with all but the faithful. Her down-home pluck might make her a go-getter of a governor in Alaska, but the thought of her being a heartbeat away from the Oval Office is downright frightening. McCain, whose mantra was "country first," clearly put politics first with his choice. On the other hand, Biden is an accomplished politician -- as much, if not more so than McCain -- and complements Obama (which Palin fails to do for McCain).

4) The Face of Race: We are just a day away from a magical turning point. It could be that once-fantastical day when every parent can now look their child in the eye and say you can do anything, even be president, and mean it. But it goes beyond that. As a Hillary Clinton backer, I scoffed as much as anyone at Obama's speech on race -- right here in Philadelphia -- in the midst of the Rev. Wright debacle. When I review the speech now, I alternate between being ashamed of myself and being overwhelmed with the message. It is fair to say that the discussion of race in America -- often conducted in whispers and hushed tones -- will change forever with an Obama presidency. For good and decent Americans, which most of us are, sillyfears will be allayed. There will be certain cards black America can no longer play, which may advance the discussion. Conversely, it will be easier to spot and hunt down the racists that have been hiding in the closets in every corner of the country. There will be rough spots, but we will emerge better for it in the end. The best taboo is no taboo.

3) Our Standing In The World: I also downplayed this argument when Obama first came onto the scene, but it really is important that we restore our image as the country to emulate. It's not that way anymore, and that's simply tragic.

2) The War On Terror Will Gain Focus: Obama didn't pick Biden because he planned to go into a pacifists' shell. He always saw the Iraq War, which is the unspoken heat lamp atop our economic meltdown, as folly. He will end that so-called war so we can hunt down those who actually attacked us on Sept. 11. And if you believe that John McCain is some kind of a Superman who can fly through the air -- with Palin clapping her pom-poms from the ground -- and stop a plane before it hits a building, I think we should legalize whatever it is you are smoking. We are always safer with the more rational thinker. You want mission accomplished? You'll have a better chance of getting it.

1) Balance: It's healthy to eat fruits and vegetables and protein, but too much of any are no good. If you overload on Vitamin C, for example, you are at risk for kidney stones. Huh? What? I'm a Democrat -- although I've voted for plenty of Republicans over the years (maybe even McCain before he sold his soul to the far-right devils) -- but I wouldn't want a Democrat in the White House for more than two terms. It's just not healthy. Yes, the executive branch is only one-third of the power base, but he (or, one-day, she) sets the tone. The president has veto power and appoints the Supreme Court justices that are really going to shape the nation for average people like us. No matter how much of a centrist --let alone a populist -- a president may try to be, there is no way he can represent the needs of all Americans at one time. There will always be groups of people disenfranchised. When it's the same groups for too long of a period of time, it's just not a healthy balance.

So there it is.

Take a moment. Breath deep. In and out. And sing along with the George Harrison-penned masterpiece:

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right
It's all right